The Natural Game Journals

I've Moved!

2006-05-28T20:16:00.000-07:00

I've moved this blog has moved to:

The new blog has a lot of new features, and I'll be doing a lot more stuff on it in addition to putting up the same great natural game content you're used to seeing here.

-Dan

Big things are coming...

2006-05-26T21:53:00.000-07:00

This blog is about to undergo a major transformation soon. Sit tight for more info.

Perfect is Boring

2006-05-22T11:05:00.000-07:00

One mistake that I see guys make in field: they are too smooth. They don't make any mistakes, and that in itself is a mistake. Because, they come off as a player. This reduces their attainability to the girl, and causes her to pre-emptively reject them. Of course, you shouldn't try to make mistakes. But you shouldn't be a perfectionist either, especially in seduction. In this golden oldie on sosuave.net, Pook talks about how being perfect is boring. ------------------- Originally posted by Pook on sosuave.net The gratitude of the ladies has crowned me with the label Don Juan. I should have definitely declined the title if I saw it as most do! When a gentleman logs onto the website, he thinks, "I will absorb everything that is Don Juan... Quote: Don Juan! What is he? What ought he to do? All we know is the word catches all our imaginations, all our dreams, as we envision him, clad in black, macking the girls from all points in sight. Oh, that Don Juan! He does everything perfect! with the ladies! If only we could absorb all techniques, all fashions, all behaviors, and engage with no fear, all the ladies will be ours!" This viewpoint is so prevalent and dominant, I now understand why some people are GLUED to this forum! Perhaps there is a way to scrape us off our 'reading materials' once and for all. The Perfect Player... My roommate and I were watching one of those dating shows (I forget which). Two guys were competing for the ladies. One was a super player who was saying all the right things and getting physical with them. The other guy was a super horny dude that was loud, making crude comments, and literally humping the chicks. My roommate was in awe of the player. “That guy rules! He is playing both of them. He is kissing both of them!” The other guy, in the pool, was humping the water jets and jumping around. The ladies said about him, “It is like a date with a 2 year old!” The player dude was feeling quite secure when the ladies would say, “Thank goodness I am with you. That guy is complete nuts!” When it came time for the choosing, however, my roommate and I differed on whom the chicks would choose. “The player dude, obviously. He was PERFECT.” But I knew better. “What! No, no, the girls are going to go for the super horny guy.” My roommate thought I was nuts. When the girls chose though, the player dude, Mr. Alpha Male, ended up all alone while the girls chose the horny dude. “I DON’T BELIEVE IT!” my roommate cracked. Perfect is boring but to be Human is Beautiful. The Player LOST to the horny dude because even though the Player Dude did THE RIGHT THINGS to the ladies, he was still boring. The horny dude had more personality than the Player in every encounter. “But Pook! I do not get it!” A creative director from Hollywood told me this, “Look at the REAL stars that EVERYONE LOVES. Are these people the perfect model types that grace magazine covers? NO. They all have huge eccentrices of their own.” In other words, Schwarzenegger is no Shakespearean Actor. I think the only other character that hasn’t talked as much in movies would be Lassie. Take the successful lawyer who goes to the gym all the time. BORING. What is Human about him? One thing I didn’t realize: if you strive towards perfection, chicks are going to expect you to be ‘perfect’. We must fall in order to rise. The little goodie who strives to be perfect in all his manners with everyone is going to be surpassed by the guy who lets his eccentricities rise in his dealings. Perfection is boring. To be Human is Beautiful. Modeling! You think modeling is about perfection? “Yes, Pook. I believe it is.” Sure, there are standards. But anyone can play the role of a mannequin. Even in modeling, there is heavy emphasis on penetrating the lens, to ‘be Human’ so to say, to slip your personality throughout. Music! What? You think music, that divine grace that is the perfect union of art and math, is to be ‘perfect’? When you learn an instrument, there is much emphasis on tone, scales, notes, and rhythms. When you play in a symphony or band, you obviously let the director place you in your role. You could practice for DECADES and be PERFECT at playing songs yet be totally BORING. What makes the truly sensational players are the ones who put fun into the instrument, and fun ends up coming out of the instrument. If you take a player who is going at it with a sense of play, of thrill, of joy itself, a missed tone or a note off beat is not even heard. Compare that guy to the ‘perfect player’ and the player with thrill will always, always win.(To you guys still scared about dating and all, consider this: put fun into the woman and fun comes out. Put happiness into the woman and happiness comes out. What do you try to do instead? Do you try to be so 'perfect' that she will go crazy over you? Where a Nice Guy uses flowers, you use flowery acts. Unfortunately, you’ll find that vaginas are not laced with gold.) Writing! Look at the finest writers in history. Shakespeare is bawdy. Milton goes into full egotistical mode. Even some of ****ens’s works seem incomprehensible. If you consider the so called ‘perfect’ works to those, they don’t compare. Take your professors who write these so called ‘brilliant’ academic books that no one reads. People do not admire brilliance; they do not admire technical perfection. People admire the Humanity, the personality, found in works. People do not admire Napoleon for his military and artillery genius. They admire him because he had the audacity to say on a corpse filled battleground, “All these men will be replaced by a single night in Paris.” Popularity! Take any politician. What do they try to do? Why, they try to be PERFECT in your eyes. They speak to you as if you are a four year old, using focus grouped sayings and canned generalizations. The result is that every politician gets viewed as the same, are all boring. Which politicians are remembered? It is the one not with ‘failings’ but with a humanity of their own. Now look from women’s eyes. All these men try to be ‘perfect’ to the ladies so they all come off as BORING. A ‘humanized’ guy, no matter what his failing, is always more desirable than a PERFECT Nice Guy, super intellectual, or dried up player. Why does ‘perfection’ fail with the ladies? Because when you strive to be ‘perfect’, you enter an Anti-Life mode. You end up not really living but fulfilling some imaginary barometer of virtue, of thought, or other Human measuring stick. Quote: He who binds to himself a joy Does the winged life destroy; But he who kisses the joy as it flies Lives in Eternity’s sunrise. William Blake Now why do we strive towards ‘perfection’? To get the PERFECT women? There are obviously no perfect women. Even a Playboy centerfold can turn into a FAT EVIL HAG. (*cough* Anna Nicole Smith *cough*) I’d imagine the ‘perfection’ comes from the thought that the WOMAN obtained will be like heavenly rain in a parched desert. All the things you’re looking for in life… joy, sociality, and even sexuality must come from YOU. And you know what? Examine the ladies you ARE attracted too. They already have the joy, socialibility, and sexuality. When they look at you, you may think you are ‘perfect’ but they see a joyless frustrated creature. There was this guy who went to the gym almost all the time. His diet was PERFECT. His workout routines were PERFECT. His clothing was PERFECT. His six pack… no, EIGHT pack was PERFECT. He MODELED. He got involved in ACTING. He looked like a GREEK GOD. When he walked about, all the ladies noticed him. He used his flesh like a masculine dress. Aside from those that used and discarded him as a boy toy, the ladies always broke up with him. How could they break up with this ADONIS? “He is so BORING” they all said in chorus. After all, he spent most of his time in the gym or being consistent with his perfect diet. If this guy spent less time being perfect and more time being human, he would be much more successful with the ladies and much happier. There was this other guy that became a super successful lawyer. He bought the token status car and made a mini-mansion. He went to the gym every other night. He had money, had status, and looked great. He thought the ladies would find him PERFECT. Well, they did find him perfect but not for the reasons he wanted. They found him PERFECT for STABILITY. So he married a ‘super hot babe’ and had kids (which he paid for a nanny to take care of). What does the ‘super hot babe’ do? She cheats on him! “Don’t you love him?” "Yes, yes I very much do,” and she speaks the truth. No, she sleeps around because SHE IS BORED. He dehumanized everything. She doesn’t have to work, doesn’t have to raise the kids, and doesn’t have to do anything. Of course she won’t leave him. And of course she is in ‘love’ with him (or rather his STABILITY). Yet, she is bored and cheats on him. If the guy was a bit more human and less perfect, she might find her husband more interesting than his foolish role of Mr. Perfection. So when you think, “I have been on this forum for X amount of time! And I am STILL A) Virgin B) Single C) Non-LTR D) Not getting the girl I want. I have A) Read the DJ Bible again and again B) Gotten advice from the posters here C) Read and bought many DJ books.” Consider: “Are you trying to PERFECT yourself when it comes to women or are you trying to HUMANIZE yourself that you find interacting with women as natural as breathing?” The difference is all. Shakespeare Striving to better, oft we mar what’s well. Tennyson: Faultily faultless, icily regular, splendidly null, Dead perfection, no more. Hazlitt: No one ever approaches perfection except by stealth, and unknown to themselves. Orwell: The essence of being human is that one does not seek perfection, that one IS sometimes willing to commit sins for the sake of loyalty, that one does not push asceticism to the point where it makes friendly intercourse impossible, and that one is prepared in the end to be defeated and broken up by life, which is the inevitable price of fastening one’s love upon other human individuals. I see you now. I know your gaze is fading from the computer screen… Look at me! Pook hits the table. For the love of God, listen! Your life depends on this. When you see a girl you want to approach, or you are getting cold feet about a date, remember three words: “Perfect is boring…” Three words! “Perfect is boring…” Your brain will spin out all these reasons why you are unworthy… “Cheap and wimpy car.” “Poor clothes” “Shortness” “Bad haircut” “No money.” “Not as good looking” “No confidence” “Past failures” “Perfect is boring!” and watch those reasons evaporate. Stand up! Already, the blood is pulsing through your veins. You’ve always wanted to do this but have always been scared of yourself. Let go. You stand up and go out the door. Go! Go! You see a beautiful woman but are afraid to approach. “Perfect is boring…” and you go and talk to her. But you like to spend your free time on the computer. So what? Talk to her. You are scared to ask for her number… “Perfect is boring…” She gave you the number! Again, you are scared of the date. Too many unknowns! But… “Perfect is boring…” Look! She is smiling at you! She wants to kiss you! But you have never kissed a girl before. Would you mess it up? Would you slobber over her? What of it! “Perfect is boring…” *Smooch* She loves it! Now look at what position she is in! You know what to do… For the love of yourself, for the love of life, you are letting go and are actually becoming human. Pity those who want the perfect life! Break me, tear me apart, let me be beaten and altered by life, let my life be touched and touch in return for I will be Human, for there is no reason on earth to be scared of yourself. Perfect is boring… let it be written in the sky, painted on buildings, read with your eyes, transcribed on your soul. All those people who are ALONE are perfect… but those with the girl realize that being perfect is boring! __________________ POOK

The Ten Commandments of Natural Game

2006-05-16T14:42:00.000-07:00

Here's the latest from Grandmaster Woodhaven: ten solid guidelines to keep in mind on your road to becoming a PUA. Posted to The Natural Game Compendium. ------------------ 1. Genuine connection with another person should serve as the basis of your game. It doesn't matter how good your techniques are if you can't achieve a genuine connection. 2. Always work to increase the positivity of interactions, and strive to improve the emotions of the people around you. Trying to hurt people only destroys your own value. 3. The immediate moment, the "now" is always more important than any previous moment. Never allow yourself to get stuck in previous moments during the pickup, regardless of what happened. 4. It is not sufficient to be a man. You must become an "idea". Women are attracted to ideas, not men. Once you determine what YOU stand for, your "idea", make EVERY SINGLE element of your game congruent to that. Everything you do, say, how you dress, your mannerisms, your techniques should serve to reinforce that "idea". Any deviation from your "idea" is a leak in your game that needs to be fixed. This accounts for why some techniques work for some people and not others. 5. When using techniques and routines, you must communicate yourself through the techniques, not hide behind them. Many men got into the game because they had a fear of letting women see the real them. Routines and techniques have become a very convenient veil that they could hide behind. Don't let this happen. 6. Demonstrations of value should flow naturally from the reality of your life. Value is built, not fabricated. 7. Value is largely perceived as a vibe which is sensed on a subconscious level. How long does it take you to figure out if you like a person or not? 1 minute? 30 seconds? Some of my most memorable relationships came from 1-3 minute number closes. 8. The nature of your thoughts is the first determinant of your outcome. Your mental "focus" always takes precedence over structure. Never sacrifice your focus in order to follow a generic linear path. 9. Life is unpredictable. Contingencies always come up. Since women will pay attention to your reactions in all kinds of different situations, your game is only as good as your spontaneous conversation and behaviors. 10. Time is irrelevant to pickup. If you spent 30 minutes with a woman, but the last 5 were boring, you would have been better off venuechanging / getting a number at the 25 minute mark. If you have a problem with flaking, you don't need to spend more time, you need to improve your vibe.

Dear Spirit Fingers...(Reverse Supplication)

2006-05-09T17:48:00.000-07:00

Posted by monstar in a blog comment: Come on SF post something. You are killing me, I’ve blog withdrawal symptoms. :)

Well, we can't have that. Taking the reccomendations that readers gave me in my 30,000 Hits post, I've decided to start taking email questions from readers, and answering them on my blog. All readers are encouraged to send in questions, and I'll do my best to get to all of them. Here's this week's email, from J.G.

Dear Spirit Fingers, I’m old enough to be the father of a lot of PUA’s and I’ve studied game for a year. Your blog is the best resource I have for natural/direct game, which suits me better than indirect. Reading the archives, I just found where you say that an unedited version of Woodhaven’s remarks on reverse supplication is out there. You say it’s given out by request/explanation only. I respect that. Here’s my explanation: In my 20’s, I was a soldier at Ft. Bragg, NC. I was in superb physical shape, and less than an hour from UNC/Chapel Hill, a target-rich environment if there ever was one. I had three cool wings. They were amazing and I learned a lot from them. Once I got my shit straight, I nailed 40-50 women in two years. It’s funny to read what I just wrote now because those terms did not exist then. We were just cool guys with weird jobs drinking our take-home pay and nailing college babes in our spare time. About ten years ago, I got married. (Yeah, I know, I know. I can see you rolling your eyes right now.) My wife turned into a monster before my eyes. Even her family was shocked. Because we had a kid, I endured that shit for ten years. Then, when I was planning my divorce, I got Style’s book. I began reading about game and I saw why my marriage was dying: I had NO game anymore. I found Woodhaven and Dmitri’s work, and your blog, and I started applying that stuff at home. Before long, she quit most of her bitching and started having killer food waiting when I walk in the door. This from a woman who was proud of her inability to cook. ) And she's a good deal more cooperative in the bedroom as well. Of course, we’re also seeing a counselor. He and my wife focus on little shit, which is nice because it keeps her mentally occupied. I sit through the sessions and keep the ship on course with game. It’s fuckin' amazing. For the moment, things are in flux, but my marriage might make it. I really want to see that interview so I can rate my reverse supplication game and look for pointers.

My response: Hey man, I'm glad to see that my blog helped you. I can't release Woodhaven's full method to you because it's supposed to be for his workshop students only. But, I think this would really help you out, so I can give you a truncated version of the structure. Reverse supplication is basically a way for you to get the women in your life to support your lifestyle in non-sexual ways, in exchange for sex with you. Instead of you working for sex with them like most guys do, they work to have sex with you. This includes small things like cleaning your room and cooking you food all the way up to buying you expensive stuff. At one point, Woodhaven was getting hundreds of dollars of clothes and gifts every week from his MLTRs. He had one girl in particular who was wealthy that would buy him lots of stuff, and occasionally straight up give him cash. A prerequisite for this entire method is that you be the best lover that she has ever had. In order to exercise this degree of control over a woman, you need extreme high value, which can only be provided through sex. Also, you shoudl fulfill all her needs outside the bedroom, provide her with fun, love, feeling of safety, etc. Make sure your relationship is really strong before you try this stuff. I'm going to be coming out with an ebook on sexual techniques soon called The Sex Revolution Handbook if you're interested in ways to become better in bed. I'll also be releasing some stuff for free on my blog too, so look out for that. Second, you want to subtly plant the suggestion in her mind of what you want. There's a structure for doing this, but I'm not allowed to tell you that. Then, you want to create an emotional void. You don't want to hurt the relationship, but you want her to get worried and be motivated to work to keep you happy. Again, you'll have to figure out the exact way to do this for yourself. If you've done this right, she'll have bought you those $100 jeans, or cleaned the house for you, or taken you out to a nice dinner, or whatever way it was in which you wanted her to support your lifestyle. When she does this, reward her lavishly, you gotta figure out the specifics. After this, you slowly push her compliance thresholds. Once she's done this, you can ask for a little more using the same method. Keep escalating the compliance you get from her until she's supporting your lifestyle in the desired way. On a side note, you might not want to try this for the first time in a marriage. Like everything else, it can go wrong when you're inexperienced with it. I would advise getting a MLTR or two outside your marriage, and trying it out there first. Or, if you wish to remain exclusive, start real small. Don't demand a car right away, start with some small stuff and escalate compliance slowly. -Dan

Loverboy Returns!

2006-05-09T17:35:00.000-07:00

A lot of you probably remember a dude named Loverboy, who made the infamous "Loverboy's Tribute to Sarging." It's a really motivational video, with videos of him with his old LTR, and an explanation of how bad his oneitis for her was. Then, at the end is a montage of tons of pictures of him having good times with hot chicks, and even him and Hoobie naked/getting blowjobs from chicks. Unfortunately, one of the girls in the video found it so he had to take it down, but if you can get your hands on it from somewhere I highly reccomend it. Loverboy was one of my favorite PUAs in the community because he doesn't take himself too seriously. A lot of community guys that get good, they start to fall into the "guru" role and think of themselves as too "high value" to have any fun. LB, on the other hand, always kept it real. Also, he's an open-minded guy who didn't get sucked into community politics. He doesn't post on ASF any more, but in this article in RSD's newsletter, he gives a good summary of how to reconcile the different styles of the community, and also some tips on how to get good regardless of what style you use.

Originally posted by Loverboy Lately we've had a good number of posts focusing on lifestyle, relationships, and social intelligence, learning how to be cool, and learning how to be socially saavy. All this is great, because a lot of guys are definitely missing the big picture so it's good to reiterate the reason in the first place of why learn all the lines, the routines, the social dynamics and the theories, and to ask oneself again why you are in the game. But here is what's happening, and I just want to touch upon the different classic groups of guys: Guy A is the typical guy that those posts were meant for. Came in the community because he wants to learn tactics to pick up girls. He wants to know how to approach a woman, have her be interested, kiss the woman, take her home etc. These IMO are not about tactics/techniques as it is about having some balls and social intelligence to play on the dynamics of the situation, and being quicker on your feet and always having something better to say or do than the girl. Anyway we're familiar with guy A because he's the routine social robot that opens 1000s of sets, becomes a validation junkie, and sees everything as a "set." For guy A it's no longer about pickup but about how many indicators of interest he can generate so he can feel better about his low self esteem, and the mathematical calculation of how to win a set over. Guy B on the other hand is at the other extreme. Hears that routines are "excuser" mentality. Go direct. Be a man. Don't be scared to bang chick! He thinks that his lack of success is merely because he's not 'man' enough and that alone. So he learns to grab girls. Stand tall and alpha. He walks into a regular coffee shop and starts shouting at customers catching up over a drink, and even gets kicked out... of a coffee shop... he is the opposite of guy A. Dropped all the tactics/techniques but has no social grace, because he thinks that it's 'cool' to break free from the 'matrix' and fly like Neo because it's obviously cool to be outside the matrix and think that everyone in the world is being 'sheep'. Guy B is no longer about pickup but about the adrenaline rush from doing things your parents would never approve. It's reverse psychology at work. Guy C is the new breed that we're seeing more lately. He's the guy who probably used to be A and/or B, probably been in the game for at least a couple of years, and have reached a certain point where he has become complacent with gaming but has gotten lays under his belt. He sees the bigger picture. He drops all routines, all game, and still has girls still chasing him. He goes out and has a decent social lifestyle so he goes to have fun with his friends and doesn't game at all. He is more socially calibrated and intelligent than type A or B. But he doesn't do any approaches. He doesn't even escalate after talking to some broad for an hour. He gets girls, but not the ones he wants. He would not be able to perform because his skillset is just no longer sharp. What he doesn't realize is that this happens everyday. It's a natural phenomenon for people to have sex. It doesn't make him a pick up artist. For guy C, it's no longer about pickup but about delusions that he's 'made it'. These are all extremities. The key is developing yourself to become a hybrid of all 3. Knowing when to be guy A, guy B, or guy C, or a combination. Knowing that guy C may be the ideal guy for the LIFESTYLE and FRAME. But if you want to keep your game sharp, guy C won't do it. There is a reason you can learn this stuff... if you want to maintain a polished skillset, you still need to play the game and have the SKILLSET of guy A. Keep the social wit and naturalness, but be able to use skillset in a cold approach situation. Same with guy B - knowing that the balls and MENTALITY of guy B will also come in handy in situations where you require that edge to overcome being a pussy in doing an approach or being more dominant and confident. Each of the 3 broad generalizations I wrote above were actually real life anecdotes from real life scenarios. It was pretty shocking, to all of us, to hear that a bunch of guys got kicked out of Starbucks. How often does someone get kicked out of a coffee shop?? You know something went wrong there. My point is not to say a particular camp has bad teachings because I genuinely think that everyone with good intentions has something good to teach. On the other hand, to point out that what guys end up seeing is one LINEAR way to do things instead of opening up to accept that a HYBRID is required in order to be a successful pick up artist. At the same time, the 'hybrid PUA/natural' should also make sure to: (1) keep developing other parts of your life, and have something beyond just 'game'. If he has a job, don't neglect that. If he has a double life like Kent Clark/Superman, make sure there is a BALANCE. The way to integrate it is to have a flexible frame and identity. You don't need to be one OR the other. You don't have to choose between swimming or going to the gym. You can do both. (2) develop SMOOTHNESS APPROPRIATELY - whether you are guy A, B or C. Smoothness is a thing I see that even many top guys still can do with development. Smoothness in MOVEMENT, facial muscle transitions, voice, gestures, delivery - until it becomes NATURAL. This means interactions whether as the game spitting machine or the laid back natural who gets gamed, have the interaction FLOW. (3) living in the moment, dropping the ego and learning to be state independent (credit to Tux for this) One of the biggest things I've overcome in the past year is moving slowly away from outcome dependency and enjoying the interactions and process. Easing the highs and lows by LIVING IN THE MOMENT. (4) don't get sucked into a linear pickup model. It's a skillset, and there are many ways to drive a car. Everyone will do it differently. No one can say that there is only one way to drive it. Girls are still people. People are human and genes dictate a lot of human behaviour but there is a reason why people like different things and everyone is unique. No one can tell you how to live or the right decision to make. There is no such thing as a wrong decision. But as a wise man once pointed out, the difficult decision IS often the right one. (5) Lifestyle development should not revolve around pickup. Nothing wrong with not approaching constantly. Nothing wrong with having a girlfriend. Nothing wrong with buying a girl a drink. Don't let all the 'rules' dictate your life. There's much more out there in this world than controlling/dominating every single interaction in your life. In fact I've found myself to be a natural in many parts of my life outside of this lately. Life is flowing. Things seem to just come to me easily my way these days. Maybe it's just a period in my life, but I'm in no way controlling or manipulating situations to happen. They just seem to... just go well. And the last point I can add before I have to jet off (in Spain with other half and I'd rather go hold her than type, but hey, bros before hoes) Learn to be content with what you have- one victory calls for another, and is indeed a trait of successful people, but at some point, learn to be happy with what you got, otherwise you'd never be happy... In this moment, I may not be as rich as I will be in 5 years, my game may not be ultra ninja level 1000, and my girlfriend is not a rich oil tycoon or stripper of the year. But I have grown so much in the past year (couldn't have done it this fast without you guys BTW) I don't think I can be any happier right now with what I have. Good luck to ya'll. Cheers, LB

30,000 hits!

2006-04-19T17:53:00.000-07:00

Just checked the hit counter, and this blog has now gotten over 30,000 hits since I put the counter up. Thanks to everyone who reads this blog and has made it so successful. I know that I haven't been updating very frequently for the past few months, because I've really been in a crunch for time lately with my normal obligations as well as with my relationships and sarging. By May though, things will ease up a little for me and I'll be able to update more often. I'd like people who read this blog to comment on what direction they'd like me to take it in the future. Whatever changes you want to see, or if you want me to keep everything the same, this is the time to speak up. Some things I've thought of:

The Sex Revolution Handbook

-Dan

(Almost) 20 Questions with Spirit Fingers

2006-04-19T17:31:00.000-07:00

Donovan of The Attraction Chronicles recently did an email interview with me for his blog. I'm reposting it here, but you should also check out his site if you haven't already, it's got some good content on it. Here it is: ------------------------ Start with a brief biography. Age/Place/occuption/how long in the game/profession, website... I’m in my twenties, and a business student at a large university in Boston. I also work as a personal trainer. I attended my first Lair meeting in October 2004, so I’ve been in the game for about a year and a half. I met Woodhaven at a Lair meeting, and ended up interning for him when he and Dimitri started theApproach. Currently, I also work for them as an apprentice instructor. I’ve had the pleasure of doing a few programs with them, and I’ve gotta say, it’s been incredible. You get to travel around the world doing something you love, and it’s a great experience being able to change a guy’s life for the better. My website is The Natural Game Journals. It concentrates on Natural Game, which is my style of game. If you want to learn more about it, I recently compiled all my favorite natural game articles together in The Natural Game Compendium, which is available on my blog. I’ll also be coming out with an e-book soon on sexual technique, called The Sex Revolution Handbook. Look for it to be released early this summer. 1. Describe the moment, when you suddenly realized, "I need to work out this part of my life." (And how you found the community) This was actually a long time in the making. About four years back, I was a virgin and a nerd. My life consisted of going to classes, doing the bare minimum of work to get by, and then heading home to play video games for six hours a day. Not such a rewarding lifestyle. I came down with this hardcore one-itis for this girl who had LJBF’ed me. Of course, it didn’t work out, and I was pretty broken up about it. This other girl saw this and felt bad for me, so she offered to set me up with her friend on a blind date for this private party that was coming up. I met her friend and I really liked her. I thought it was going great, until half an hour into the party she straight up told me she wasn’t interested in me. She ended up going home with the DJ, who was about fifteen years older than her. And, driving home by myself, I blew out one of my tires and had to wait about four hours for a tow. I had a lot of time to think in those four hours. I vowed to myself that I wouldn’t be a nerd anymore, and that I would get this part of my life handled. I started lifting, cleared up my acne, and got a better haircut and better clothes. Physically, I went from a 2 to about a 7. I found the sosuave.net, and I thought I had found the Holy Grail of getting laid. It was actually just simplistic common-sense stuff like “be social” and “don’t be afraid of rejection,” but it did help my confidence a lot. I started becoming more social, and within a year I had actually had a decent social circle. I had sex for the first time the following summer, and it was so bad the girl never wanted to see me again. But, I had lost my virginity and I was making solid progress. About a year and a half back, I went to my first Boston Lair meeting. I “sarged” with guys for the first time, and I loved the experience. I started going out every week with a guys from the Lair. 2. Have you had any mentors (perhaps well-known pickup artists) within the community/life that have helped you improve your game, and what did they teach you? YES. Mentors have been instrumental in helping me succeed, and I would not be where I am now if it was not for three crucial pick-up mentors who helped me out tremendously. My first mentor was a Boston PUA named Coldmirage. He was this fairly good looking Russian dude, and at the time he was the best PUA I’d seen in action. He had very good game, but he was somewhat of a “community natural” – he had a limited ability to articulate what made him successful. Actually, his game was very sloppy technically, and I picked up some bad habits from him. However, he was dominant as fuck and just a cool dude, so he could pick up girls anyways. By emulating him I became much more dominant and made a lot of progress in my game. In about six months, he’d brought me to the point of being able to get phone numbers and the occasional Day2. This might not sound like a lot, but keep in mind I came from a base level of very little social skills. In March of 2005, I meet Woodhaven at a Lair Meeting. He made a presentation, and I was blown away. When he decided to start theApproach with Dimitri a few months later, I wanted to take the workshop but there was no way I could afford it. I offered to become their intern, and work for them for free in return for training. That summer, I put up flyers, did computer work, made copies, lots of menial little tasks which I didn’t get paid for. But, it was the best thing I’ve ever done in my life. Throughout the summer, they gave me 1-on-1 and sometimes 2-on-1 training. They sped up my progress a ton, and by the end of the summer I was actually pulling girls out of clubs, and getting laid off cold approaches. 3. Can you describe the first time you used a counter-intuitive technique that yielded its promised results, and how you felt? I used a lot of counter-intuitive standard community material in my early days, but the first time I used something counter-intuitive that actually worked for me was doing a direct approach. I’d read about guys having success with it, but I thought maybe it was just because they were good looking. I decided to test it out though – I thought that I’d have to creep girls out like 10-15 times before I finally got it to work. To my surprise, the very first time I direct approached a girl in a bookstore, it worked great. I felt awesome, needless to say. This was the point where I started to break away from the standard community stuff, and lean more towards the Natural Game stuff. 4. Could you describe (If you haven't previously) what you're life was like before you were aware of this, and/or what options you have with women now (specifics, eg. i date a brunette hb8, etc)? Well, it’s pretty simple. Back then, I had the option of whether to jerk off with my left hand or my right hand. Now, I have relationships with three awesome girls. My primary is a Bajan (from Barbados) black girl who’s a bartender/stripper at a few clubs around the city. I’d give her an 8. I’m really into this girl, and she sleeps over about five nights a week. My other girls are a blond HB7, and a brunette HB8. I don’t see these girls nearly as much as my primary, but I’ll hook up with them once every week or two. 5. What was your hardest/biggest sticking point? For me, my biggest sticking point was preventing flakes. This past summer, I went nuts with the sarging. I’d have three dates lined up in a row, and frequently all three would flake on me. The way that I got past this was not through any technique, but by a better understanding of what solid game is. Instead of doing a lot of flash game type stuff to make girls giggle and touch me, I’d concentrate on something which contributed to real attraction (value, attainability, or compliance) in the initial pickup. Also, I improved my phone game tremendously. 6. Do you have a favorite routine/step in your model, can you describe it, and what it accomplishes? My model of pickup is the Natural Game Attraction Model (VAC). If you’re not familiar with it, it’s described in this pos by Dimitri: A New Model of Attraction It’s been refined a lot since the post was written, but that’s the basics. Basically, it states that attraction can be broken down into three elements. Your value comes down to your social skills, social proof, style, body language, looks, etc. Attainability is how much the girl thinks she deserves you. And Compliance is how hard the girl has worked for you. The idea of the model is to escalate Value, Attainability, and Compliance in roughly equal terms. The attraction the girl has to you will be equal to the weakest link in your VAC chain. For example, if you have lots of value and attainability, but no compliance, you’re just a dancing monkey – the girl won’t be attracted. My favorite element in this model is definitely Compliance. Value and Attainability are roughly analogous to the mainstream community concepts of attraction and comfort, but compliance is something which hardly anyone talks about. Yet, it’s vital to create attraction. The biggest problem with community guys is that they work too hard for a girl’s approval, and don’t get enough compliance out of their girls. If you look at how most naturals operate, they aren’t entertaining storytellers like a lot of successful community guys. They’re just chill guys who don’t make social errors, give the bare minimum of compliance, and demand compliance out of those around them. Knowledge of compliance has saved tons of sets for me. There comes a certain point in every pickup where you have the group laughing, touching you, etc., but you can sense their interest starting to wane. Before I knew about compliance, I probably would have just kept plowing them with my stories, trying to establish more value when I already had it. Now I know that in this situation, compliance is the problem. If at this point you go into screening, or cue put social pressure on her to contribute to the interaction, you’ll generate much more attraction. 7. Have you had the experience yet, where you feel that you've reached a certain degree of mastery? Can you explain the time, and how you got the realization? (Or where you've realized that you're on another level of pickup eg. Crossover from AFC to PUA... the moment where you 'Got It") There hasn’t really been any big “got it” moment for me. Of course, I realized it whenever I reached a new threshold (first number, first kiss, first community lay, first girlfriend). However, I never sat and though “Hey, this is it. I’m now a master.” I think that there is always room for improvement. While I do congratulate myself on my past successes, my focus has always been on the future, and how I can be more successful. 8. What advice would you give to newbies starting out, in order to greatly accelerate their learning curve? Drop all the canned material. Everyone always balks when I tell them this, but it’s the best thing you can do for your game if you haven’t developed solid conversation skills yet. The reason why new guys rely so heavily on canned material is that they can’t think of interesting things to talk about. So, they memorize five interesting routines, and use them as a substitute for spontaneous conversation. But, this is just covering up the problem. If you can’t make good conversation beyond your routines, what are you going to do when you run out of routines? Or, when you’re at a place in the conversation where no routine fits? I’m not saying canned material was useless, I have a few stories that I tell frequently myself. I’m saying that the using routines as a substitute for spontaneous conversation will cripple your game in the long run. Be able to attract a girl with just your spontaneous conversation, then learn some routines. There’s a few exercises we teach in workshops to help with the fundamentals of conversational vibing. My post A Complete Guide to Vibing has some tips to improve your spontaneous conversation. Read this post, and then go out in the field and do tons of approaches with no material. Yes, you will stall out many times at first. However, eventually your mind will be forced to think of something to fill the gap. This is hard, but it’s the only way to develop the fundamental conversation skills which EVERY PUA needs, whether it’s to back up his routines or rely on exclusively. 9. What's your belief on inner game, and how did you improve it? Inner game is critically important. One thing that I’ve noticed about PUAs and naturals is that their content really isn’t that much different than the average guys. Like, if you wrote a transcript of their conversation, nobody would be impressed. The reason why they get good results is because of they have the strong, unwavering belief that they are attractive guys. I tried NLP, hypnosis tapes, affirmations and some other woo-woo stuff to improve my inner game at first. This stuff is stupid and doesn’t work. If you’re chanting a million times a day “Picking up women is easy for me,” it’s not going to make you a PUA. By chanting it over and over again, you’re just reinforcing to yourself that picking up women is hard for you. Why is this? Well, I sometimes like to eat cereal. Do I chant to myself 100 times “Eating cereal is easy for me?” No, because it actually is easy for me, and I don’t even consider the possibility that I might not be able to eat it. This is what you’re aiming for – to reach the level where you don’t think picking up women is easy for you, or hard for you, you just don’t think about it at all. You just do it. There’s no magic bullet inner game CD that will do this for you. I’m coming out with an inner game post soon, and the gist of it will be that building self-esteem is similar to building attraction in eyes of others. You have to repeatedly demonstrate high value to yourself, and establish a pattern of behaviors of an attractive guy. This includes approaching without hesitation, risking failure, recovering well from failure, etc. In short, the only way to develop inner game is by getting out in the field. 10. Do you have a personal favorite field report (your own) that you could relay? I’d have to say my favorite lay was my primary. It was my most difficult lay, as it took about 15 phone calls spread over 3 months to get her to meet up. Unlike some of my other lays, she initially wasn’t attracted to me. She probably flaked on me 3-4 times before I finally got her to meet up, through high-value persistence. Once I got her to meet up though, my biggest obstacle was lots of LMR, which I got over by preventing her from talking logically. These days, I would have used the Woodhaven LMR technique to pre-empt any LMR, but what I used then got the job done. Not only was this one of my favorite lays because of it’s technical execution, but also because I got the most out of it. While in a lot of my other lays I just got an ONS or a few hookups, I’ve been with this girl for about nine months now. We’re very happy with each other, and she genuinely means a lot to me. Here’s the report: LR: Street – Phone – Lay 11. What is your current sticking point (if any)? My current sticking point is finding enough time/motivation to go as much as I want to. I’m a complete sex addict, and it’s tough for me to turn down guaranteed sex with one of my girlfriends for the possibility of sex with a new girl. And, between managing three relationships, work, and other obligations, I don’t have much free time. Currently, I usually go out with lair guys to sarge 1-2 times per week, and I’ll go out with my friends to party and maybe hookup another 1-2 times. In another few weeks though, I’ll have a lot more free time. When this starts happening, I can start hitting up parties/bars/malls/whatever 4-5 times a week, and still have time for lots of sex. 12. What are you goals now within the community, and in life? Unlike a lot of guys in the community, I don’t like one-night stands. They’re cool for when I’m traveling, but generally I prefer relationships. The sex is much better in a relationship, and I enjoy hanging onto a few high-quality girls more than hooking up with more lower-quality girls. What I want is to develop an amazing rotation of MLTRs. My first goal is to keep my primary, and to make our relationship stronger and better for both of us. My second goal is to develop a rotation of 2-3 secondary girlfriends who represent different types of girls I like. Not only different body types, but different personalities and energies to. Some party girls, some intelligent girls, etc. And, I want to show these girls how amazing sex really can be, and make them as much of a sex addict as I am. I also want to improve my social skills generally, and become a cooler guy in all contexts. I’d like to improve my social network, and surround myself with some great friends as well as some great girlfriends. 13. What projects are you working on right now? Right now, I’m working on a bunch of community-related stuff. I have my blog, The Natural Game Journals, which I update a couple times a week. Right now though, most of my writing is spent on my e-book, The Sex Revolution Handbook. It’s going to be completely different than the sex books out there now. I’ll be posting some preview chapters on my blog. Look for the handbook to be released by July 2006. After the e-book, I’m looking to develop a few other projects. I’d like to make a site where I feature audio interviews of PUAs in the community I’ve met, and break down everything that makes them socially effective. I’d also like to start a blog focusing on sex techniques. And of course, on top of all this I’m an apprentice instructor for theApproach. I’d like to make full instructor within the year, and be able to travel to the West Coast and Europe as well as the East Coast to do workshops. 14. Any words of inspiration? Yes. Don’t settle for being a nerd, or for having a mediocre sex and social life. So much more is out there, you just have to put in the work to get it. Yes, it’ll be hard, and you’ll have to go through months and maybe YEARS of rejection before you start to see results. But when you do, it’ll all be worth it. Trust me. Stay in the field, learn from your mistakes, and always keep improving. -Dan

Boyfriend Destroyers

2006-04-15T15:05:00.000-07:00

While sarging a married chick a few nights ago, I was reminded of some techniques for boyfriend destroyers that I haven't used in a while. When a girl says "I have a boyfriend," there can be three possible meanings to this. The first is that she is attracted to you and will hook up with you, but she feels obligated to tell you so that she feels less guilty. The second is that she doesn't actually have a boyfriend or kind of has a boyfriend, and is just using it as an excuse to blow you off. The third is that she has a boyfriend who satisfies all her needs, and she won't cheat on him (yes, this situation does exist). How do you know which one it is? Well, if she's not interested, she'll bring it up early in the conversation, and show other signs of disinterest. For example, if you open a girl and the first thing out of her mouth is "I have a boyfriend," it doesn't mean she actually has a boyfriend. It means that she's trying to blow you off politely -- in other words, she thinks you're of lower value. In this situation, just bust on her for it -- say "Really? Me too! High five!" then pull your hand away so she looks dumb. Then, continue to display value as normal. If a girl is into you, but still gives you the boyfriend excuse, it's probably genuine, or at least semi-genuine. Either she has a boyfriend but she's not satisfied with him and is looking for something better, or she is satisfied with him, and is just flirting. How do you tell between these two? Unfortunately, there's no way to tell. The only way to tell is to play your game out to the end see if she goes along with your escalation. In this second case, there's also a right and a wrong way to handle the fact that she has a boyfriend. The wrong way, that most guys use, is to bash the boyfriend, or even to agree with her when she bashes to boyfriend. The right way, although it's counter-intuitive, is to tell her how great her boyfriend is, and also tell her lots of reasons why you would make a horrible boyfriend. Harmless explains how to do this, and why it works, in this post:

Originally from a post by Harmless on Bristol Lair First of all, it's important to notice how she brings up her BF: If it's early in the sarge and she says, "I have a BF," this does NOT mean that it's time to do BF destroyers. This means that you did NOT attract her and that she could even be LYING to you because she doesn't want to talk to you. So... if you get this too soon, then you need to deal with more fundamental game issues first. If she waits until later in the sarge and brings it up reluctantly, like, "Oh, I'm kinda seeing someone," then you know you're IN. THE ULTIMATE BF DESTROYER: Ignore it. Don't make an issue of it. The first time she brings up her BF, don't say anything more than, "That's cute." Just keep gaming her. You can break this rule later when you learn to calibrate. If she brings it up again, there are a few techniques I have that work REALLY well to make take her BF out of her mind and put YOU in his place. (Well, at least make her forget about him for long enough to go home with you.) They're all based on a few basic principles. Basically, you want to create a VOID in her life by letting her see that her BF is not fulfilling her needs. Then you show her that you are precisely her-void-shaped and fucking you would make everything alright. Remember these principles: First, if you BASH her boyfriend, she will get DEFENSIVE and support him. You've just anchored good feelings towards her BF and BAD feelings towards you. Bad idea. This even happens if SHE starts bashing her BF and you AGREE with her. Second, if you try to convince her that you are better than her BF, the same thing will happen. Third, if you talk about how awesome her BF is and exaggerate it to impossible proportions and talk about how they are destined to be together forever, this will cause her to re-evaluate her BF in YOUR TERMS... and be disappointed. Fourth, if you talk about how horrible a BF YOU would be, and why she would never want to date you, she will start to relate that to HER experience with HER boyfriend. It's sometimes also effective if you do this ironically, telling her how WONDERFUL you would be and then describing all your horrible traits as if they were ideal. Fifth, use future adventures projection to have her imagining the two of you together. Use this HEAVILY. I cannot stress this enough. Sixth, fractionate between a joking, tongue-in-cheek, "I'm just kidding" tone and serious, "Is he kidding?" tone depending on how into you she is and how attached she still is to her BF. Seventh, use false disqualifiers a LOT. Make excuses for why you can't be with her, especially ones that disqualify yourself. It helps if they are blatantly weak excuses. My favorite is that my other girls take up too much of my time as it is. Use these right after Future Adventures Projection too. Eighth, just pretend that the words "I have a boyfriend" have NO MEANING at all to you. Continue as if she never said it. Ninth, she is destined to be yours and you both know it. There is no element of NEEDINESS here. Combine these principles (and others that I've forgotten, and anything IN10SE would care to add) and you can create your own BF Destroying material on the fly. Here are some routines that I've created while talking to girls: (This is from a sarge with a SHB who is "kinda seeing" the manager of a trendy downtown club) Me: "You're a lesbian, aren't you!"Her: "I'm not a lesbian! But... er... I am kinda seeing someone. He's about this tall, dark hair [starts describing the manager, who I had seen her eating dinner with after the clubs closed the previous night]"Me: "Well, it's a good thing that I like him."Her: "Why?"Me: "Well, because otherwise I'd just steal you from him, take you to a desert island, and spend a week drinking rum, sun-bathing, and skinny-dipping with you. [I could have gone on with the future adventures projection, but I decided not to.] But that will never happen. So, tell me, how long have you been 'kinda seeing' him?"Her: "Oh, just a few weeks now."Me: "Wow, you know, just from the way your eyes are all bright and your skin is glowing, I can tell that you are totally in love with this guy. In fact, I predict that a year from now, you will be happily married with 1.5 kids and a white picket fence." [said very tongue in cheek]Her: "I don't want to get married, and I certainly don't want kids right now! I'm an independent woman!"Me: "Of course you are. But he's just so perfect for you! I bet he buys you flowers every day you see him. I'm sure that he is always a perfect gentleman and never even LOOKS at another girl while the two of you are together." [note: I had been blatantly gaming girls all night, right in front of her, and getting #s.] Other stuff to do and a general structure: She mentions her BF and starts qualifying him somehow ("Oh, he's so X. I love him so much"). You use this when you start a FUTURE ADVENTURES PROJECTION: "So I suppose that since I like him and I don't want to hurt his feelings and everything, we will have to conduct our moonlit tryst secretly. He must never know of our clandestine meetings." Then you build up her BF with: "You know what? It sounds like you guys are totally in love. I can totally tell that he's the PERFECT guy for you and you will ALWAYS be together. In fact, I bet he'll propose to you soon and you'll get married and have kids and live in a nice house with a white picket fence. And you know, I just couldn't live with myself if I ruined the rest of your life with him because he is your PERFECT BOYFRIEND." Then she starts bashing her own boyfriend ("Well, sometimes he's mean to me. Blah blah blah") and you say, "Well, if I was your boyfriend, I wouldn't be like that at all. I would call you three times a day JUST to find out where you were and what you were doing and who you were with. I would get mad if you didn't call me EVERY day because I would love you SOOOOO much. I would go out drinking with the guys every weekend so you could have your personal space to do whatever it is that girls do... I don't know, cooking and cleaning and such. Oh, and I would forget all our anniversaries and break up with you on valentines day." So, the idea is: She mentions the BF, You ignore it. She mentions him again, You start three threads going: One is future adventures projections of you and her having sex. But you use imagery that she can fantasize about (If you don't know, go read a romance novel) and disqualify yourself. ("Yeah, but that will never happen.") This raises buying temp. The second is a thread that describes him as the ideal boyfriend so his faults are amplified. This is a DHV. The third is a thread that describes you as a horrible boyfriend. You can do it ironically if you want. Basically, it's a DLV and a false-disqualifier. In fact, these anti-BF techniques work so well that I use them all the time on girls that are single too. I just start talking about past relationships or the ideal guy, etc, etc. Or I start future adventures projections about our illicit meetings, running away from the paparazzi in LA, getting pictures of us kissing in the National Enquirer, etc, etc. Harmless

TightCrew Update

2006-04-07T15:58:00.000-07:00

The Boston Lair is going through some major renovations. We're moving from a Yahoo group format, to a forum for which Woodhaven has donated the hosting and the domain name for. Props to him for giving back to the community. The lair is now located at Bostonlair.com This means we have all the advantages of a regular forum, meaning that we own the threads, good threads don't die, multiple forums, etc. TightCrew will also be hosted on the Bostonlair.com forums. It's beginning to shape up now, and it's good to see some solid improvements in the lair. -Dan

TightCrew Boston

2006-04-03T11:55:00.000-07:00

After the release of The Game, the Boston Lair began having a problem with a giant influx of newbies. Most of these newbies just signed up for the list, and didn't sarge in real life. There were some who were committed, but many were half-hearted about pickup and brought many of the advanced guys down. There were also privacy issues, where people began stalking us at sarging events and doing other weird stuff. My solution to this problem was to create an additional private group for PUAs in Boston, called TightCrew Boston. I just announced it on the Boston Lair -- I reposted it here for anyone who's having a similar problems with their lair.

Originally posted by Spirit Fingers on the Boston Lair A lot of the active guys have been asking for a solution to the problem of having too many random keyboard jockeys on this list. I've been thinking about this for a while, and here is the solution I have come up with. I feel that everyone who wants to deserves access to a public forum for seduction. Also, there is some material that people are indifferent to random people reading it, as it does not reveal any private information. For these purposes, we'll keep the current Boston Lair as it is -- a public forum for guys in the Boston area, for the posting of public seduction advice. We'll still have our Yahoo group and regular meetings are normal. However, there are disadvantages to having such a large, inactive group. The first is that you can't share private information such as some field reports, pictures, video etc. with the group. The second is that 85% of the lair is made up of newbies who are not serious about this stuff. They are all for internet posting/lair meetings, but aren't willing to put in three or four years of their life in order to become good. The advanced guys are weighed down by teaching them, and most of the new guys get no benefit out of it in the end. I am all for teaching new guys, and will continue to do so at all lair functions. But, the problem is that advanced guys are not getting enough value from the lair, and are dropping out. We need some way to give them benefit from the lair so that they stay active in our community. To do this, I created a new, private group called TightCrew Boston (named after a similar group from the LSS called TightCrew London). This group will be small -- I am projecting 10-12 members for now. Everyone will know each other and meet up with each other regularly in real life. Because of this, people can feel free to post private info such as FRs, pics, videos, etc. They can also post invitations to private parties that it is not possible to invite the entire lair too, and organize sarging events together. The group will be moderated by myself. The requirements for admission: 1. You have to live in the Boston area, or close enough to travel there regularly. 2. You have to be active in-field. For guys who have a lot of game and are already getting laid a lot, one day of week dedicated to sarging will suffice. However, guys who aren't at that point yet will have to compensate with higher levels of activity. 3. There will be a basic skill requirement. You don't have to be an mPUA, this requirements are just to ensure that guys have developed beyond the newb stage before we admit them. The requirements: a. You have to be able to get a decent number close, in either a daytime or nighttime setting. For anyone who is active, this is an easy requirement. b. You have to have wing skills, and be able to help out your brothers. This includes not giving off weird vibes, not cockblocking, and a knowledge of basic wing dynamics. 4. You have to be a cool guy who we wouldn't be embarrassed to introduce to our friends. This is independent of the skill requirement, although most of the time if you are cool, you'll automatically be getting laid. This is not to say that routine-based guys are not welcome, I have friends who use routines who can also chill and have fun wihout their routines. Anybody using any style is welcome, as long as they don't fuck up our social circles. 5. To be admitted, a member must get either two skill vouchers or four activity vouchers. a. Skill vouchers are simple. TightCrew members will give a skill voucher if they feel a guy has game and he is getting laid right now. He also has to be willing to attend group events, and help out new guys from the public group. b. Activity vouchers will be given when a member is not yet getting laid, but is very active (will become good in the future). This means, going out 3+ times per week to sarge. ALSO -- the guy must be advanced enough RIGHT NOW so that we can wing with him, and so that he won't damage our social circles. If you are a cool guy who goes out regularly, you will get activity vouchers. 6. FRs/LRs from public forums will be used for consideration purposes only. For the final decision of whether a voucher is given or not, only real life interaction with members will be taken into account -- what is posted online does not matter. It is better if this interaction is from winging together, but it can be from just hanging out. I have found that the impression you get of someone from 10 minutes of talking from them is generally accurate. However, I've also met a lot of dudes who post impressive-sounding LRs, but are weirdos in real life, and I've met guys who post nothing at all who are good PUAs.. For this reason, FRs will not be considered in our evaluation. 7. The group is open to female as well as male PUAs. 8. Although we will have private sarging events, members will be required to help out new guys from the public forum in some form. This is not meant to be an exclusive club we set up to hide from newbies. It is meant to help the experienced members of the lair and offer them something of value, so that they can in turn help out the new guys. 9. It's not necessary to email me asking for admission, we will find you. Just show up to meetings and be active in the lair, and you'll get vouchers. If you have any questions though, email me at spiritfingerspua@... -Dan http://spiritfingerspua.blogspot.com

APB Coming to Boston

2006-03-30T11:44:00.000-08:00

Just got the word that Asian Playboy will be coming up to Boston this summer from a dude in the Boston Lair. I gotta say, I'm looking forward to it. I read APB's blog regularly, and I think it has some great stuff. I've been a fan of his posts since back when he was known JT40719, and I think the Boston Lair guys are going to rock out with him when he gets up here. Word. Expect more updates soon.

Exclusive Woodhaven article -- VAC manipulation

2006-03-11T17:59:00.000-08:00

Woodhaven just posted up an article theApproach's student forum. The forum is in great shape now -- almost all students stay involved in theApproach after the workshop via the forum. There are also regular post-workshop homework assignments for each student to complete -- and we comment on their reports of these assignments, and help them out to do better. Woodhaven and Dimitri also post up some great exclusive articles to the forum. Woodhaven just gave me permissionto repost this one here, which is about VAC manipulation. If you're not familiar with the VAC model, it is the model of attraction for natural game. It states that: Attraction = Value + Attainability + Compliance. For details on the VAC model, check out this post. It has been refined since that post was written, but it conveys the basics of the model. This article includes tips on how to increase your value, attainability, or compliance at the appropriate time, and includes a LR at the end. Enjoy. ---------------- Originally posted by Woodhaven on theApproach student forum A lot of people have been asking me about attainability lately, and I get the sense that maybe people don't have quite a good handle on it. I'll try to clear it up a bit since it is probably the least understood / codified concept in the community but at the same time the most powerful. The lack of proper attainability game accounts for so many guys not closing the deal it makes my head spin. Firstly, attainability is NOT "Let the girl know she can get you." It has a very specific set of definitions which I'll get to in a moment. First, let me tell you where my research on attainability comes from: 1. It comes from my 3+ year development of Natural game in which a basic assumption is that you assume more emotional strength / stability than the girl. What flows from this is the fact that you MUST reassure her in some way as opposed to making her insecure which always has potential to introduce enough doubt to start the ARM (auto-reject) mechanism cycle. The ARM cycle of course will prevent the girl from seeing your value, and cause her to treat you as if you have none. 2. Long talks with a seasoned bisexual female PUA friend of mine, who has fucked more girls than both Sebastian and I put together, I think she got started in middle school or something silly. ;) She claims to have never failed in converting a seemingly "straight" woman (married, boyfriend, no matter) once she decided she wanted her. She basically broke down her method to me (well it wasn't really a "method" per se until I codified it and called it "attainability") It now is the basis of our Attainability component in the VAC system and revolves around the concept of building friendship. Asking my bisexual friend how she fucked all these girls, in one sentence she could answer "I just became their friend". 3. Crystalization of "High Value Attainability" which came to me in a sensory deprivation tank experience (one of the inner-game / goal reaching things I do, which produces clarity you've never experienced - they say 90% of your brainpower is used up processing the input of your five senses - remove the input and you get that 90% back...) I jumped out of the tank and took notes frantically for later review. VALUE: So basically, we understand the V component, which is to demonstrate higher value - and in Natural Game we do it by passive demonstration, not active demonstration. Active demonstration a la Mystery Method flows like "I have to increase my value now, let me tell X story" Passive demonstration a la Woodhaven Natural Game flows like "Which reminds me of X story. (Whoah she's gonna LOVE this one!)" The problem with active demonstration, even though they both involve story X, is that the story is delivered from a need to increase value, which can be sensed by 95% of women, especially attractive ones who are used to that type of thing and see it 20 times a day. Passive demonstration works fine, and combined with proper focus (Charge the venue, proactively socialize etc...) produces value in spades. COMPLIANCE: Compliance is necessary since people need to work for every other thing that is valuable in their lives. Ever had the feeling like "That's too good to be true" or "That's such a good deal, it's gotta be a sham" That is the feeling that comes from the perceived lack of putting work in for something. Compliance lends CREDIBILITY to your value. Make them work. ATTAINABILITY: Attainability is defined three ways. Doing any one of these three will produce proper attainability and allow you to capitalize fully on the value you have built. If you refuse to build attainability you will need to create approximately 10X the value to get the same effect. 1. Respect as a friend. Does the girl feel like she could be friends with you, regardless if you're having sex or not? Do you have commonalities, common interests and observations? Can you vibe and make each other laugh? Use respect as a friend to kill the player vibe, and show her you are willing to stick around after you sex her, or even if you don't sex her. Ultimatums are for losers. Ironically, respect as a friend will increase the chances of her sleeping with you. Most hot girls with things going for them screen out players. Guys who say girls love players are sleeping with ugly girls, regardless of what they tell you ;) 2. A girl like me can get a guy like him. Are you capable of sustaining friendships and relationships with girls of similar characteristics? Demonstrate closeness with other girls. Do your social proof to get this one. If you can't do real social proof, use implied social proof. Example - implied social proof: Her: "What did you do today?" You: "Oh, it's a long story. Ok ok.. I have this friend named Jen. And she slept with this guy I know. And the fucking idiot goes around and tells everyone he slept with her... The girl finds out and shes just devastated, so shes all upset. She calls me up and she wanted me to find out why he opened his big mouth about it. So i told her she could come over - I was just basically staying home practicing guitar, so she came over and watched... and we talked... It's really too bad though, cause she's such a sweet girl - and she just wanted to know why some guys are like that. And in the end I really didn't have a good answer for her. What would you tell her?" 3. Conditional Availability. This one goes hand in hand with compliance. Let a girl know she can get you by working or meeting some condition. Show that you like something very specific about her that is also non-physical. This is where screening and qualification comes in. You use it to set up challenges. Here are some quick examples: -Most of my friends are X. What's the most X thing you've ever done? -I have such a soft spot for girls who are X. Do you consider yourself X? -Vulnerability: "Most of the girls I've had relationships with haven't been all that attractive. People ask me 'What are you doing seeing that girl? You can do better'. It's because they're generally really fun people who were really nice to me, really giving. They also took an interest in the things I am passionate about." -"You know most people I meet are hard to connect with, but I feel there's something about you that's very genuine." -"You have a very down to earth sense of humor. It's easy to be with you." -"You know I meet so many girls who play games. But you don't have time for that bullshit. You're so real and genuine... I like that." VAC MANIPULATION: The beauty of the VAC system is it's nonlinearity. You can fix or improve your situation at any point in your interaction, depending on where your V, A, C values are at. The only other factor you should be aware of is precedence, and for now just realize that the more times you have hurt precedence (she made decisions against your favor, she acted on decsions against your favor, she "socially announced" decisions against your favor) the longer time it will take to reverse it. If you have V and A, get C. If you have A and C, get V. Or in my following example if you have V and C, get massive A: VAC Manipulation LR: I was a Boston Nightclub in the fall time on workshop. I was doing a demo on an HB9.2 - (there's a link to the pic at the bottom of the post if you want an idea of how I scale my ratings) Chick was in a group of about 6 girls and 4 guys. I go in SitRel, socialize with the group etc, screen quaify, vibe..etc. My VAC at this point is relatively nice and even. (It's better to have a well rounded VAC than huge deficiencies, as you'll see in a moment) Talking for 20 minutes, I decide to get back to our guys - I eject cordially and catch up the guys. About 30 minutes later I see HB talking to another guy. I find Sebastian, and he somehow convinces me it would be fun to blow the guy out. I go in, use standard Woodhaven AMOG tactics for Sebastian's amusement. Normally I would just befriend the guy and slowly sap his value away, but I was in an asshole-ish mood. Guy straight up walks away from me and the HB. HB looks at me and exclaims "What did you say to him! Where did he go!". Ooops.. She was actually being set up with that guy through a common friend. I have value (walked right up and killed some guy's game) , I have compliance (she was forced to accept the consequences of my actions), but I have a major attainability problem. A friend would never do something like that. I grab her number using one of my dirty tricks, and go back to the workshop. (Even though I got the number, it was pretty much bad) I use an open loop text message. (These ALWAYS work) - no response from HB. I call her and leave a few messages - no response. A few weeks later I text her "Simon from american Idol. What's his last name?" (A common VAC text message / VM that I use) She texts me back and tells me to leave her alone. She then calls and starts yelling at me. Convo like this: HB: "Why are you calling me?" Me: "Uhh why not, you were the one who gave me your number?" HB: "You're not supposed to have my number. You tricked me into giving it to you." Me: "Are you THAT gullible that people can trick you into giving your number away?" HB: "And what did you say to that guy - you made him leave!" Me: "Don't blame me if a guy isn't interested in you, sweetie. It's not my problem." HB: "Don't EVER call me again." -click- Realize NO guys ever talk to this girl like that. They don't stand up for themselves and they don't call her on her shit. Me = Asshole: Value and Compliance = high, Attainability = low A few weeks go by, and I decide to call her, and fix my attainability as an experiment. Christmas eve, I call back, surprisingly she answers: Me: "Hi sweetie, I know I upset you before, but with you know, christmas is coming and everything and I just think we should put the past behind us, and I want you to know there's no hard feelings." (Major high value attainability) HB: "Yeah you know with the holidays right around the corner theres no reason we should be like that, we could maybe start talking and stuff." With a line that takes 10 seconds to say, I have built proper attainability and reconstructed my entire VAC with this girl. Why did this work? You have to realize that people only emotionally react to those who have higher value than them. HVA presupposes an emotional effect (I know I upset you before). I then framed it as if we were old friends burying the hatchet and making up. This solves Attainability definition #1 - respect as a friend. She started calling me on a regular basis, I arranged a meet, handled logistics and full closed her. We are now still together, and she told me she loves me within 3 weeks from the full close. Here's a pic if you're interested: (link removed from public re-post) Post all your attainability questions / comments in this thread. Vin

Advanced Secrets of Touch and Kissing

2006-03-11T17:57:00.000-08:00

A new post by IN10SE, which should answer a lot of your kino questions...

Originally posted by IN10SE Hey guys, In the spirit of sharing and contributing to the community, I'd like to share some material that Swinggcat and I have been working on. Here's just a little bit.. It goes over basic to advanced concepts in both touch and in kissing. These are merely some of the Outer game material (Skillsets and strategies) that I present. There is much more involved in the Inner game, (MINDsets, psychology of sex, as well as Nuclear material) that I don't go over here - In any case... Enjoy and comments welcome... IN10SE ---------------------------------- Touch is everything… There is nothing like being touched the right way by a lover… touch has the power to entice, to build desire, to soothe, to calm, to tease… Touch has been shown to release chemicals in our brains that give us pleasure, make us feel good, make us want more. But I’ve come across a secret that makes a definite difference in the way that touch is both given and received. There’s a difference between ordinary touch and “Sensual” touch. The feeling that you put behind your touch is what makes it sensual What I’m talking about here is the energy or put another way the “intent” behind the touch. You see, there is energy and intent behind every action that we take and everything we do in life – and touch is no different. Just try an experiment here. You need to have a partner or friend who can give you some objective feedback. There are two parts to this experiment. First just touch their arm just like you would in any everyday situation – no particular emotion behind it. Then, wait a little while – fill you mind with sensual thoughts of the two of you in bed (or wherever you want to be getting it on) – and imagine the two of you making the most passionate, sensual, erotic connection… now touch them. Ask them if there was a difference in the way that you touched them or in the way that they experienced your touch. Now if they’re in tune with their own body and their own perceptions – you’ll find that there is indeed a definite difference. Even if it’s just perception alone – the perception of what’s behind the touch on an unconscious level, sets up the context for the touch. It’s almost as if the sensual intent behind the touch changes everything – as the touch is just a physical manifestation of a connection on a much deeper level. In fact, one secret of great lovers is to: Create connection on the deeper mental levels and the physical level will follow And what’s interesting is that you can touch people like this who you really don’t know that well, or who you may have an interest in – and you’ll find that the fires of desire are much more easily stirred within them. Yes, it may be magical thinking, but so much of being a sensual lover is – there is so much that is in the mind, which carries over into the way that you walk, talk, breathe and act. Now in general there are two types of touch – light and heavy. But there’s more to it than just that. Here’s another secret about touch. Touch - like everything, tells a story. And a good story has an introduction, middle, a building of tension, and a release and climax. Let your touch be the same way. I will start with light touching in places that are non-obtrusive. In places like the arms, hands… And that sets the premise. As the premise is set, you move to the middle of the story where comfort builds and sexual tension starts. This sexual tension gradually builds and builds until it overwhelms the both of you and the climax of it brings you to the next level. But this next level isn’t the same for everyone. Everyone has their own model for the way that their used to things happening sexually. For many, touch progresses to kissing, and kissing to sex. For others touch may lead directly to sex. Developing sexual tension and progression of physical intimacy can be non-linear. Take what they give you and amplify it – whether it be touch, kissing, foreplay… The secret here is: Amplify what your partner gives you – because the climax of that will take you to the next level And here’s another secret: You can touch your lover using other parts of your body other than your hands in their more intimate places and it be not only permissible, but can build the sexual tension. Yes, you can touch parts of your lover’s body with parts of your body that you wouldn’t otherwise be able to touch with your hands right away. Because you aren’t touching them with your hands, some part of them may think that you aren’t touching in those places purposefully – and so it becomes permissible. An example of this is when you meet someone out at a lounge or bar. If you’re a man, she may be sitting at the bar and turn to face you ask you begin to talk. Light touching ensues. Touching places that are non-obtrusive like her arms, shoulders, outer thigh. Then let’s say that you two really begin to hit it off and you want to escalate the physical tension – you may be sitting facing here with your legs entangled with hers… in other words, your leg in between hers. As you lean in and talk in her ear, your knee presses up against her in between her legs – and she presses herself into you. If you’re a woman, you may unconsciously brush your breast up against a man who you feel attracted to. What I’m saying here is that touch doesn’t just happen with the hands. You can escalate touch is ways that can go much further and create more tension by using other parts of your body to touch more intimate parts of your partners body. Now that your touch has set a premise, let it become comfortable. Let your lover become comfortable with your touch and touching you. Touching in places like the thighs, the shoulders – giving a shoulder massage are all ways that you can build comfort with touch. Now that touch has become comfortable I begin moving the comfortable touch into places that are more sensitive. These places are places like the back of the neck, behind the ears, running fingers through the hair, lightly stroking the insides of the thighs, the insides of the arms, running fingers along the curve of the stomach… These are places that are more sensitive because they have more nerve receptors. And a light sensual touch in these areas can really build up the desire and the sexual tension fast. There comes a point where the sexual tension is so intense, that the transition to heavy touch in these same places becomes natural. Imagine with me now as you touch your lovers body with a heavy, passionate touch in these sensitive places – along the insides of their thighs, running your fingers along their stomach – and on down. The transition to kissing or the next level is completely natural at this point. Kiss Kiss Kiss Me… What’s in a Kiss? Some would say that within the first 10 seconds of a kiss, they know if they are going to be with the other person for the long term or if it’s not going to work out. Your kiss, like your touch – should tell a story as well. There is an introduction, a middle, a building of tension, and a climax. Let your kiss tell a story Now since everyone kisses differently, and likes different things in a kiss, how do you kiss in a way that will turn on your partner? Here’s a secret. They will kiss you in the same way that they want to be kissed. Match them – that’s right… Match them. If they kiss in a way that is light, just using their lips, sucking on your lips from time to time – while focusing mostly on the way that your bodies touch each other – then mirror exactly what they do to you. Kiss them the way that they kiss you. Touch them the way that they touch you. That puts you in a place where kissing becomes not only comfortable, but where you can begin to build the passion and lead to a climax – the climax of kissing being taking it to the next level. If they kiss you in a way that’s outright passionate, using wet kisses, sucking on your tongue and open mouthed – kissing down your neck and behind your ears, then do the same with them. I will often use kissing in the same way that I use touching – moving from areas like the lips and neck, to places that are more intimate like the chest, the stomach, the inner thighs, and back up the stomach to the chest and lips again. Remember, what makes a story amazing, and a lover amazing as well, is how tension builds. Resist the desire to touch them or kiss them between their legs at this point. You are building the tension, because when you build tension in this way – the last thing you want to do is to release it. The climax of this stage will carry you to the next phase. In fact another secret is: The closer that you come to releasing the tension – while not actually doing it – the more you’ll build it Yes, one of my favorite things to do is to use my mouth much like I would my touch – starting with light kisses in sensitive areas… and progressing to open mouthed, sucking kisses – moving along sensitive areas, like the neck, the back of the neck, the chest, stomach, and down to the insides of the thighs – moving up and down and up along the other side – skipping over the middle between the legs and moving up to the stomach, chest, neck and then lips again. IN10SE

Sebastian of theApproach

2006-03-07T12:51:00.000-08:00

Here's a sketch of Sebastian from theApproach, that I took with my phone's sketch message feature. It turned out to look pretty cool, so I thought I'd share it with you guys.

theApproach NYC

2006-03-07T12:05:00.000-08:00

I just got back from theApproach NYC last weekend, and thought I’d give a quick writeup of my experience there. This workshop, we had five students in addition to the three of us. The seminar took place in the Marriot Grand Marquis in Times Square. It was an incredible place, and gave the seminar part of the workshop a good atmosphere. The seminar took place in an isolated area in the middle of the Marriot’s lounge. This was also cool because it didn’t feel like a classroom, and generally made it easier for the students to become comfortable and have fun during the workshop. On day 1, they got drilled with the basics of the VAC model of attraction, and the basics of opening groups. We headed out to a big club that night. It was a great place, and had lots of hot girls. Some of the students had trouble talking over the music, but they stuck with it. The guys were showing noticeable improvement, but they were still having some troubles getting base level compliance from the girls, and isolating them from their friends. We coached them through opening groups and winged with them until 2, when the field work portion ended. Afterwards, Dimitri and I pulled these two girls I’d met with a student earlier in the night back to our hotel. His isolation game is amazing by the way – I’m going to have to write something up about how he does it so you can learn from it too. On day 2 the students got hit with eight hours of pure natural game. We covered the basics of conversational technique, and how to raise your value, attainability and compliance. We also did a few exercises to get students some practice with the stuff they’d just learned. I tried out a new exercise with a student, where I pretended to be a girl who was difficult to open, and had him practice until he was unfazed by my shield. They learned to recognize the five levels of compliance, how to escalate compliance, and the right time to start screening. For day 2 field work, we headed out to a party that one of our friends in the New York lair hooked us up with. It was in a fairly large club, and there were probably about 500 people there. It was a really cool scene, there was a lingerie fashion show, and the music wasn’t too loud. The girls there were warm and friendly once you got past the initial shield. We did a lot of high-energy, playful stuff. I did a demo where I opened three girls dancing with a high energy opener. I started dancing with one, and pulled in two guys from an adjacent group to be my insta-wings. Then, I pulled the girl into isolation on a nearby couch, ran some solid game, took her number, and returned to the group. I’ll meet up with her the next time I’m down in New York. It was cool that the guys got to see how to pull a girl from two of your friends, and how to use other guys to help you out. I was working particularly with one student, who’d been having trouble the night before with being high-energy and being loud enough to be heard in the club. He’d been having trouble opening the whole night – I told him to be process oriented, and not worry about results as long as he had the process down. This helped him out – he ended up opening a girl on the dance floor who had a boyfriend while I was with another student. Instead of trying to tool on the boyfriend and getting blown out, he became cool with him with high-value attainability technique. The boyfriend then hooked him up with one of his girlfriend’s friends. He ran some game on her, and used VAC perfectly to recognize where he was in the interaction, and increase his value, attainability or compliance at just the right time. Unfortunately for whatever reason they ended up leaving in a few minutes, but I told him that his process was good and that he should be happy with himself, and that random stuff was all that prevented him from getting success. This turned out to be true. Later in the night, we were cruising the club, charging the venue with our energy. I spotted a girl chilling by herself on a couch, and I told her to open her with a teasing, high energy compliance opener (Dude, you’re outta control! You’re having way too much fun here, I’m going to have to kick you out.”). It works perfectly, and she’s laughing right off the bat. He sits down with her, and runs some game for a minute or two. I watch for a couple minutes, and then, he pulls her onto the dance floor. I go back to the other guys, and tell them what just happened. He dances with her for about ten minutes, then comes back with a big smile on his face. He says it went great, but they’re leaving the club now. I tell him to go back, and grab her number. He goes back, does some high value attainability stuff to stop her friends from cockblocking, and gets the digits. He gives me the full breakdown later, and he did some really tight stuff. I’m proud of him for working hard and not getting discouraged by his early lack of results. He deserved this success, and they’ll be many more coming his way. On day3, we covered fashion, sex, relationships, and a few other topics. In addition to teaching the sex section again, I got another section to teach – Demonstrations vs. Verbalizations. I know this material by heart and I’ve heard Woodhaven teach it a bunch of times, so I think this section also went well. I’m really beginning to enjoy teaching, and I can feel my teaching skills improving with every section I teach. We ended the workshop by Woodhaven and I telling stories about a few of our recent lays. This helped the guys by showing them what was possible, and by showing them how all the theory they learned applies in the real world. I’ll be down in NYC much more often now, so I’ll be seeing all these dudes again. You guys did great, and thanks for making it an awesome workshop.

theApproach Boston

2006-03-07T11:31:00.000-08:00

Last week we did a standard workshop in Boston. It was a great time, and all the students learned a lot. We had six students, plus Woodhaven, Dimitri and me. Overall, the guys were a great bunch. Although we covered a ton of material during the seminar portion of the workshop, the guys all had fun personalities and made the learning a great time. The vibing exercise was especially cool, and we’ve got a slew of inside jokes from the weekend. My primary girl also sat in on the second day of the seminar. She gave the guys fashion critiques after the seminar – improving peoples’ images is a big part of what she does professionally, so I think all the guys appreciated the advice. It was great having her there, and hopefully for the next workshop we can get her out in the field with us. She has great game, and it’ll be great to have her social proofing the guys, winging with them and helping them out with the basics of attraction. I taught the sex section of the workshop. It was my first time teaching my DEIVS model of sex, and I have to say that I really enjoyed the experience. Even without her, the fieldwork was still great. We had the guys try out a bunch of crazy openers as a warm-up. After that, we winged with them and showed them firsthand how to work a club. Four of the six guys have already posted an introduction on our student forum, and a few of them have even started posting field reports from their completed post-workshop homework assignments. We covered some stuff we usually don’t do with this workshop, so we didn’t have time for our daytime fieldwork on day 3. We’re going to meet up with the whole group in a couple weeks though, and rock out in the daytime together. I’m looking forwards to it.

Oriental Hot Tub House of Sex

2006-03-07T11:25:00.000-08:00

Here's an old Woodhaven LR, that I'm posting to the Compendium so that people can see the practical application of natural game concepts, and how they all tie together. -------------------------- I am convinced that LRs are the most valuable learning tool on this entire board. In particular, I have found the LR tutorials of TokyoPUA extremely helpful. And, since he is back in Boston, I thought I would pay homage and write this one up in a simi Lay Reports also act as a testament to your legacy as a PUA. It is the documentation and representation of the art, in its pure form. From it, you can learn so much about real pickup - what works, about the style of the artist, and so on. It is not merely a way of bragging to others on the board about getting laid, it is the prime essence of PU, as it proliferates real life knowledge and experience. There's a lot of preparation and theory before the actual LR. If you would like to just read that, scroll down to "Meeting up" below. Target Analysis: Absolutely stunning asian chick (Raised in the US, though). 9.5 or so on my scale, but will be treated as a 10 for all intensive purposes, because of how people respond to her in her environment. She has guys hitting on her wherever she goes - continuously. A girl like this doesn't go 5 minutes in a public place without some guy saying some nervous, predictable kiss-ass shit to her about her looks. Most of them say dumb things like "Wow. I would love to take you out sometime." (But then does nothing to actually make it happen) "You don't have a boyfriend? No way." "OMG - Are you a dancer?". Or they go over the top in the other direction by trying to show indifference or by being mean to her. Almost all men are completely incapable of subtlety and moderation, because they consider her to be so rare and special because of her beauty. Every man in the vicinity would glance over at us wherever we were, and then quickly look away as to not get caught by her or the women they were with. My treatment: Distinguish myself from every other guy by treating her like a normal person for once. Connect with her, qualify / compliment her on non-physical things. Be absolutely honest and real. Be clear about my true intentions (both sexual and of a platonic nature) and express them in a tasteful way. Cold read her and pace her reality. Steal her frame, but not in a blatantly cocky or insecure way. Have strong unwavering dialogue and frames. Give strong eye contact. I will use what we call "Implicit Direct" game. It's a direct framework with a toned down opener so as not to be immediately categorized with the hundreds of other guys that hit on her that week. In other words, it's a game standard to the protocol outlined in my direct game post a while back, but with a specialized compliment (or a "What's up?") as an opener. Works marvelously with SHBs. (Specialized vs. Broad compliment style opener means you're saying something that makes you stand out a bit by seeming perceptive -> "Wow, that purse... (pause) it really compliments your style!" vs. "You are beautiful.") Logistics (pre-planned): 1. Have her drive to my town. (Slight reverse supplication, my reality, I lead and control) 2. We eat dinner at a classy Italian restaurant. 3. Built in isolation -> We go to an old fashioned japanese hot tub place. Appointment already made, but a surprise to her. 4. Back to my place after hot tub, more sex to further connection, and insure proper conversion. Logistics were planned before the date. Always build isolation into your logistics. Lead her confidently there according to your plan. Keys to getting the lay (pre-planned): -Direct approach and give great compliments. (Direct works amazingly with SHBs when you do it with class and distinction, see my complete guide to direct game post for more on this) -Mild c+f, to make her laugh -Frame control -Open loops - pleasant surprises -Dressing uniquely confidently. Pinstripe suit. No tie, instead slightly unbuttoned shirt with a small pendant around my neck. One ring on right pinky. -Slow, romantic kino -Conversational attraction techniques -Telling her what to wear -Extensive pre gaming on phone -Tight qualification, understanding of her reality - cold reads -Having her drive out to my place (one hour), subtle prize frame -Setting frame right in the beginning - telling her we'll have a wonderful romantic night together, and it's like a vacation away from her ordinary life kind of like old lovers reuniting (Our world frame from TokyoPUA) -Strong eye contact -Planning and leading evening - creating a fantasy world for her, that she's never experienced before. -Absolute honesty - telling her I teach workshops BEFORE I went for lay. A risk, but I did it in a very genuine manner, and I think buyers remorse would be worse if I told her or she found out afterwards. -Relaxation and visualizations an hour before we met up. (Remembering all the times women wanted me or I was successful, over and over) -Dominance - caveman-esque kino when going for the lay. -Inducing a trance state by going into trance myself while looking into her eyes, and then giving her a significant SOI. -Screening questions as a means of connecting and learning about one another. I used no "DHV's" and told no long stories, avoiding anything resembling an entertainment frame. Besides, canned material is out of style. ;) Also I'm starting to think that NOT consciously doing DHV's is a DHV, if that makes any sense. Initial contact and phone game: I was at a low key nightclub in Boston and saw a mixed four set (2 guys, 2 girls) come in. Decided on the target and approached the group. (Opener: "What's up guys, where you from...") I was cool and vibed with everyone there, as to avoid cockblocking, and then immediately sat with the target. Didn't bother to isolate or try to extract because since she was on a "double date" the logistics would be nearly impossible. Talked for about 5 minutes or so, and # closed. Moved onto the next venue with my wings. (Some people think that 5 minutes is a flaky or non-solid close. They do not yet realize that the time factor is completely irrelevant in PU. If you are ever thinking that a PU didn't go right because you didn't spend enough time on something, there was another factor you're not aware of.) Isolation is only good when you plan on going for the same day lay or when you plan on venue changing. If you are just trying to #-close, DO NOT ISOLATE the chick from her friends. If she gives you her number in front of her friends, flaking will be reduced dramatically. It's the dynamic of her wanting to show her friends that she met a good, desirable guy. The friends will be questioning like "Did he call you, see I knew he wouldn't call" and then the girl would be responding in your favor like "Yeah he called, and he's really cool, we're going to do something." It becomes a little drama thing where the friends are a bit jealous, and the target is hoping she met a great guy for once. It will work out in your favor - all you gotta do is not fuck up! I left her few chilled out messages. Pretty plain: "Hey what's up. It's me calling to chat and see what you're up to. Give me a call." I focused more on being relaxed and having clear, deep and slow tonality. She didn't call me back at first, so I was persistent. I kept calling and leaving messages, because I knew I could reframe it later. ************************************** How to be persistent and have it work ************************************** Continue to call and leave messages, ignoring the fact that she isn't calling you back. Assume rapport, treat her as an old friend that you are about to reconnect with. Be cool about it, and not mean or spiteful in any way. Set it up in your mind as a low investment on your part, all you're doing is making a short call, to remind her of something wonderful she can have. Once you get her on the phone reframe it with this: Girl: "Sorry I haven't called you back" WH: "I understand. You were busy. Sometimes meeting new people and forming connections gets put on the back burner when you're trying to get your life in order." This achieves a few things: -Shows you are understanding and cool and not angry or spiteful. -Frames it as her getting her life together so that she can connect with you. (Her raising value to meet you) -Presupposes she is now ready to form a new connection with you. -Demonstrates that we both have good values and have priorities in our lives straight. I got back from NYC this past weekend after having an RSI orientation. Target called me that night, about 2AM, and we talked for 3 hours. I did some pregaming during this time. Some excerpts: Girl: "I'm getting fat." (Looking for me to qualify her, tell her she's hot) WH: "Oh, really. Jeez... that's too bad." (instead of qualifying, I accept and reinforce her frame of unattractiveness) Girl: "Yeah I need to work out. Do you work out?" (Girl trying to screen me) WH: "Nahh. I'm not in great shape or anything, pretty skinny actually." (Verbalization of lower value) Girl: "Oh, we can fix that." WH: "Why, are you a good cook?" (reversing frame, to screen her) Girl: "Yeah I'm pretty good." (Girl bites on it) WH: "Oh yeah, what can you make?" (amplifying screening frame) Girl: "Some guy I met today was asking me why I don't have a boyfriend, he couldn't believe it." (Demonstrating value, but I see it as qualifying herself to me) WH: "I understand, guys are so boring these days. I have a friend who tells me the same thing. This girl is gorgeous, but guys just come up to her and say things like "Wow, you're so hot" unable to do anything to make a real connection. And then there's the other guys that are players that just want to use her for sex." (Basically telling her I understand her reality and I'm neither a boring guy who is incapable of talking to her nor a player. Girl: "What did you like about me when you saw me?" (Testing me to see if I'll say the same thing as the 99% of other guys) WH: "The way you carry yourself. You're just so comfortable with yourself. A kind of relaxed confidence. It's very attractive." Girl: "Really? That sounds good." WH: "You know.. I meet so many girls who play games. But you don't have time for that bullshit. You're so real and genuine." (more qualification to make her feel special and unique, and that I see her for what she truly is) WH: "Have you ever been to (city nearby)? No? You have to. Come out here and I'll show you. We'll have a very romantic evening. You'll love it. We'll go to dinner, walk around the city and then I'll have a special surprise for you. Oh, and dress really formal, wear a sexy dress for me, ok?" Girl: "Ok, what time?" This demonstrates my current M.O. 1. Use conversation to induce screening frame. 2. Amplify screening frame, qualify and compliment her from a position of power. 3. Escalate and close. I close by suggesting she drive out to see me, and I tell her what to wear. I imply an extremely romantic evening that will end with a "surprise". (Bit of an open loop) The surprise is that I will take her to a real classy joint I know that has hot tub rooms for rent. It's really a beautiful place, decorated in an old japanese style, a very romantic setting. There's even hot tubs on the rooftop (They're private and isolated, because of the architecture) where you can sit with a beautiful view of the moonlit sky. It's nice even in the winter because the heat from the water warms up the surrounding area. I take quite a few girls there nowadays, and I swear the employees at that place think I hire hookers. Since she doesn't know that's where we're headed, she won't be bringing a bathing suit. ;) So the challenge for tonight is -> Meet for dinner, and over the course of dinner, get her comfortable enough to get naked in a hot tub with me. Meeting up: She drives to a nearby shopping center, and I pick her up there. In the car we have a few different conversations. Most of what I do is vibing - straight association, nothing flashy or too tricky. The energy is good, we are both relaxed and feeling good in each other's presence. She tells me about how the night she met me, her friend was trying to hook her up with some guy. (part of the initial 4set.) Since she doesn't like getting hooked up by other people, she said that she gave the guy an attitude without even getting to know him. Just goes to show the power of frames and preconceptions! I related to her by telling her a story about a friend of mine, who got moved into a new room on campus. Since his new roommate had intended for someone else to move in there, he viewed my friend through a preconceived filter, without getting to know him. So we shared some commonality and awareness of social situations. We then talked a little about dating and stuff and how people are judgmental I told her about my sister who is dating a big black guy now, and my parents are a bit anxious about it. My dad asked my sister "You guys aren't serious, though right?" and I joked about how what he really means is "He hasn't fucked you with his huge black cock yet right?" Had some laughs. Arrived at the restaurant. From the car, I grabbed her hand and led her down the sidewalk. I tell her to consider this as a vacation, where she can escape to a fantasy world with no rules or worries. Arriving at the restaurant, I opened the door for her, and escorted her inside. Leading, Leading leading, as much as possible. Sat at the table, talked some more. Straight association vibe... We talk about our close friends, and I tell her that I don't really have a social circle (true). I tell her that I have a lot of close friends who have their own circles, but I rarely merge circles, and my friends know each other through me. I also tell her about how I am doing workshops (I opted to tell her before sex, so in the future if she ever finds out, it wasn't some secret thing I hid from her), and how I used to be such a player. But I got sick of being a player and playing games and meeting trashy untrustworthy girls all the time. This led me to some genuine qualification. I talked about how guys and girls play games and pretend to be disinterested, in order to manipulate a person's emotions. I told her that she seemed very real and genuine, and that she makes me feel very much like myself. At this point we are in deep deep rapport, almost a trance like state. (Talking about this thing reinforces the direct framework I am using for the seduction.) I then focus even more deeply into her eyes, and relax myself into a more intense trance state. She goes along with me, (because I have been dominant and leading) Then I give her some more SOI's and tell her how good it feels to be with her. (This also has the effect of making her feel as if she is seducing me) At this point I'm in good shape. We get back in the car (infamous van, actually) and drive to the hot tub place. We arrive and she reads the sign and is like "Hot tubs..." The person behind the desk leads us to our room, and gives us our towels. He leaves, she looks at the tub, looks at me and says "Now what?" I say "We get in!" She responds with "You're going to see me naked already?" I say "Of course not baby, I'll cover my eyes!" (Jokingly, half smile) She goes to the restroom briefly, and I get naked and get in the tub. I turn on the jets, bubbles and lights to full power. She comes back. She says "Are your eyes closed?" "Yes." I can't tell what's happening. I'm trying to peek through my fingers, but all I can see is steam and bubbles. I'm feeling great. "You can open your eyes now." She whispers. I open my eyes and she's about two feet away from me, in the tub, fully naked. She's wading toward me slowly with her gorgeous tits just above the water. We sit closely together in the seat, enjoying the experience. Pretty soon, we start kissing. She puts her legs on top of mine, and I put my arm around her. I pull back a little. And talk about some things around us, comment on how cool the place is. I tell her about how there are some hot tubs on the rooftop also, which are also very nice. Start kissing again, escalate to sucking tits, touching pussy. I pick her up out of the water and put her on the wooden ledge. (The hot tub is like at floor level, and there is wood all around on three sides of it.) I place her up there and eat her completely shaven pussy. Then she gets in the tub and I stand up high so she can blow me. Then I pick her up again (caveman style dominance), and place her down onto the wood and start to fuck her. We switch positions, doggystyle, missionary etc... It's a great time. Conversion. Two things can happen when you get a fast lay on a cold approach. One - either she continues to talk to you and it converts to an MLTR, LTR or FB, or two she writes it off as a ONS, has buyers remorse and decides never to see you again. After the lay, everything I did was to aim for conversion. So from this point on, I already have the lay, so now I am behaving in a way such that it converts so that we can have future encounters and I can decide to what extent she is involved in my life. I am really relaxed, and slow. Very receptive to her and caring toward her. We talk and deepen rapport. I drive her back to my place where we lay on the couch and watch an episode of elimidate. I take her to my bedroom, and we hold each other some more, and talk some more. We fuck again. We fall asleep for a few hours, me holding her close. I wake up and drop her off. During the drive I have a little debrief, and she said that it must have took some balls to take her to the hot tub place so soon like that. She really enjoyed it and said it was different - she's never been in a hot tub before. Called her the next day, left a message. Said I had a great time. She returned the call a few hours later and we had a nice and positive conversation. Once again the keys to the lay were: -Direct approach and giving great compliments. -Mild c+f, to make her laugh -Frame control -Open loops - pleasant surprises -Dressing uniquely confidently. -Slow, romantic kino -Conversational attraction techniques -Telling her what to wear -Extensive pregaming on phone -Tight qualification, understanding of her reality - cold reads -Having her drive out to my place (one hour), subtle prize frame -Setting frame right in the beginning - telling her we'll have a wonderful romantic night together, no rules -Strong eye contact -Planning and leading evening - creating a fantasy world for her, that she's never experienced before. -Absolute honesty - telling her I teach workshops BEFORE I went for lay. -Relaxation and visualizations an hour before we met up. (Remembering all the times women wanted me or I was successful, over and over) -Dominance - caveman-esque kino when going for the lay. -Inducing a trance state by going into trance myself while looking into her eyes, and then giving her a significant SOI. -Screening questions as a means of connecting and learning about one another. Woodhaven

Sexual Expression and Lifestyle

2006-02-28T12:29:00.001-08:00

Despite the bad reviews of his company, TD has posted a good post up in the advanced section of ASF which I think is worth checking out. It's mainly about what a PUA should look for in a girlfriend -- and what he should not look for. I think that's one of the reasons my relationship with my girl is so great, is because she supports and helps me evolve, rather than dragging me down.

Originally posted by Tyler Durden I was reading SOHH today, and came across this little tidbit from Kanye West. "Kanye reveals being a sex addict. Ye can't keep it in his pants. That's four times a night and another round in the morning. Word is the Louis Vutton Don's addiction is so intense, he apparently travels with porn. "I have normal conversations all the time while I'm looking at these sites. ... It's an addiction," West told Playboy Magazine. "Whenever we go to the porn store, we call it the crack house. I have porn on me at all times." He evens tests shorties on the first date by playing porn when they come over. "That's one of the old pimp moves, if the girl comes over, have porn playing," West explained. "If she wants it turned off, I tell her I don't know who left it on. "But if she says, 'Hmmm, what's this?' then I keep it playing." That would explain why West is only into porn and model types. Yet, it wasn't always the case. The Chicagoan recalls losing his virginity to a rather chunky girl as a 17-year-old. "She had great titties, even by my standards today. She had a bit of a gut, though. I wouldn't fuck with that now." Reading this got me thinking about how one of the unspoken truths in society is that most of our entertainers and leaders and other high-profile people simply have huge sex drives. Their desire to be in the limelight and in a position where they can DOMINATE and CONVEY THEIR PERSONALITY is what drives them. What they do is NO DIFFERENT than what we do, other than being on a LARGER SCALE. In the same way that we approach a woman and convey our personality by dominating the environment and expressing ourselves through our humour and stories and flirtation, these people socially dominate and express who they are as a part of their lifestyle. I remember reading that Genghis Khan has more than SIXTEEN MILLION descendants. As funny as it sounds, his drive to dominate the world may well have been an expression of his sexuality. The thing that most people don't understand about things like performance or leadership is that these things are in many ways EXPRESSIONS of one's personality, which is an expression of sexuality as well. This need to express their personality is in many ways a form of peacocking -- they are drawing attention onto themselves and demonstrating ability to handle it (or at least trying to do so, to varying degrees of success). It's interesting to see how most new PUAs still have traces of their AFC self... They seem to follow a pattern of: -Get a level of skill. -Have sex with a bunch of 7s and 8s. -Finally have sex with a 9 or 10, and suddenly want to trap her into a relationship (they'll say, "I ACTUALLY like this girl...") The funny part about is that they don't understand that the hot girl is a pickup artist HERSELF. She likes sex, and she likes attention from a variety of guys. The reason she dresses hot is as an expression of her sexuality. Usually what then happens is that they can't hold onto the hottest girls (they haven't quite evolved to that point yet, and getting there takes time), and at some point they wind up in a relationship with a pretty hot 8. Where this goes wrong is that usually the girl they wind up with is NOT qualified to be the girlfriend of a guy who has now undertaken a more outwardly expressed sex drive. And it's an interesting thing -- on one side the PUA loves this girl as his old AFC self finds a lot of comfort in her, but on the other side he has now taken on the peacocky and outwardly expressive behaviours and flare of a guy with a higher sex drive. IMO, and IME, even a guy with the highest sex drive can be monogamous, but the girl has to have certain qualifications to handle him. She has to understand who he is and not try to extinguish it. She has to WANT him to be flirtateous with everybody, and understand that tension is a part of his interaction with the world. She has to LIKE it that he dominates his environments in the process. She has to understand that men are visual creatures, and that looking at other women is part of what INSPIRES them to work hard and dominate and be expressive. She has to have a huge sex drive herself and continually do things to keep him challenged and entertained. She has to keep things novel, but she can't do so in a way where it's all about pleasing HIM, or he will lose interest because it's not a challenge. Rather, it has to be something that she likes as well because her sex drive is similar to his. She has to have her own life and be totally comfortable with him doing her own thing. Guys with high sex drives usually have type-A careers, and wake up every morning ready to get up and dominate everything around them. Sex is just a part of that overall mentality. I remember Donald Trump saying that he liked Melania because she intuitively knew when to LEAVE HIM ALONE and when he wanted attention. That is SO TRUE. If a girl lacks that quality, it can only be lose/lose because the DRIVE that attracted her in the first place will be extinguished. I really believe that life is an evolution -- part of life is to continually evolve until you die. Every day I'm doing things to evolve who I am, and I can only be with a woman who supports that. The thing about me that I think is different from a lot of guys, is that I have dogmatic faith in the PROCESS over the result. A lot of guys say they do, but my faith in the day-to-day process is literally a part of who I am. When I got into this, my results were so dismal that learning about the "Focus on the process" philosophy was more or less a life-saver. I made a commitment to become process oriented -- and almost EVERYTHING I have today is because I did so. When a girl I'm with is attracted to me, I know that it's because of the PROCESS that I followed that made me attractive to her. So if a girl is bothered that I am evolving and wants to hold me back, I remember that it was my following of the process (evolving myself) that delivered me the girl, and that the process will always take care of me in the future. That's an interesting dilemma, because if you love the girl your instinct is to make her happy. But ultimately you MUST be with a girl who is has evolved herself to a point that inspires you to play at a higher level -- even if she has only evolved herself internally and as a sexual being, she has to understand who you are and be comfortable with it to nurture that part of your personality. Most guys will find a girl they like who tries to extinguish them, and they'll stop evolving because they love her and want don't want to evolve past her. I think that's probably one of the biggest thing that holds back a lot of good guys from becoming great. Anyway I suppose I wrote this to encourage guys to develop their sexuality, and to recognize social structures and the similarities between what we do and what high profile people do on a larger scale. Understand that sexuality and the drive to be dominant and expressive are intertwined. It's not something that's recognized right away, but some time after knowing what to look for.

Bad RSD Reviews

2006-02-28T12:29:00.000-08:00

There's been a rash of bad reviews of RSD lately on mASF, and I thought I'd put in my two cents. I've gone from being a TD fanboy to the most anti-RSD person ever, but now I have a more accurate view. I hear good things about the ability of RSD's instructors. They train their instructors for up to a year in some cases, and they all have game. However, I hear bad things about RSD's customer service and teaching skills. More than one of my friends who've taken the workshop have been dissatisfied with it because they were treated badly, or the instructors ignored them, or whatever. This doesn't apply to everyone in RSD. I've heard that some guys, particularly Geoff and Loverboy, are amazing instructors. So here's my advice to everyone thinking about taking RSD: 1. PICK YOUR INSTRUCTORS CAREFULLY. All RSD instructors are NOT equal. Make sure you request those who have a good reputation for teaching as well as having game. I reccomend Loverboy and Geoff from what my friends have told me. 2. Be assertive in your workshop, and demand exactly what you want in no uncertain terms. This can be hard for guys who are still introverted, but it's essential. I know people who've had positive experiences with RSD because they demanded lots of fieldwork and specific examples. 3. Don't take the workshop. The bootcamp is a much better option -- RSD tends to pack their workshops with too many guys, and take them all out to a small venue. I've heard of some guys who had a great experience with the bootcamp though. 4. Don't believe all the crap Thundercat posts on his blog. While some of his points are valid, he exaggerates and overhypes everything in order to generate more blog traffic. Links to the reviews: Sliekman's Review Psychosis's Review

No Comment, Beeyotch

2006-02-14T19:52:00.000-08:00

Asian Playboy just came out with his Top Asian PUA list, and I'm on it. Sweet. He asked me if I had any comments about making the list and I said...well you can read it for yourself on his blog. No Comment, Beeyotch Here's the full Top Asian PUA list, for anyone interested Top Asian PUAs of 2005

Lo-Tech Solutions

2006-02-14T19:51:00.000-08:00

Most people in the community use too much technique for their own good. While technique has it's place, the best way to learn pickup is to have solid fundamental, and then add technique on top once you've mastered them. Technique is the icing on the cake, the fundamental ARE the cake. Dimitri has a post on this that a lot of ASF newbies would do well to read.

Originally posted by Dimitri Introduction: Aspirations to be a "Player" "So many men try to go out and prove they're 'players' now, not nerds any more. "They don't realize that by going out and socializing, nobody's wondering if they're a nerd. They're wondering if they're a player... or something better." -Vincent "Woodhaven" DiCarlo Many men who were unpopular during their school years don't want to be seen as nerds any more. They want to be "players". The problem is, players aren't what women want to be with. They want to be with legitimate, genuinely cool people - who aren't exerting every ounce of energy into being cool people. Two examples of this - Zeus in Washington, D.C. and Ace of Hearts in Tokyo. You've likely never heard of either of these guys, even though they're two of the best in the "seduction community". It's because they're too busy living play-it-the-bone awesome lives to get caught up in trying to play. I've had the pleasure and blessing to spend time with some of the greatest people in this entire world, including master pickup artists. And you know what? We don't talk about pickup more than 5% of the time. Zeus and I talked about tea and travel last we got to talk. The first time I met Ace of Hearts, he and I talked about beer, comedy, and cards. These guys are both top-notch players. They get women, both in quantity and quality. But they don't think of themselves as players. Woodhaven's hierachy goes something like this: Nerd Average guy Player Ex-player Genuine guy By being out in a social place, meeting people and making connections, NO ONE is wondering "Is this guy a nerd?" They're trying to figure out "Is this guy a player... or something more?" By doing playerish things, you're actually communicating you're the one of the lower ranks on the social rungs. Men who were "players when they were younger but grew out of it" are more widely liked and respected then men trying to play. And the most widely respected of all is the man who never tries to be cool, the one who transcends the "game" so to speak. LO-TECH SOLUTIONS FOR SMART PEOPLE "If you can get the same results with a simpler system, it means it's better technology." -FB, 1/15/06, New York City And so Lo-Tech was born. The desire and necessity for simple, easy-to-apply social solutions had not been made clear to me until a student in New York City had impressed this upon me. If you can get the same results in an easier, simple system - It's better technology. "For me, there's no choice... I want to get results without complicated stuff." -J, 1/30/06, Boston Some of the most powerful and mesmerizing "pickup techniques" are deathly simple. Profoundly so. Until the last two years, these techniques had largely been looked down in the seduction community. The reason is that prior to 2004, the community had been largely populated by guys who were striving not to be nerds. Occasionally a "natural" would show up. Someone like Steve "Toecutter" Celeste. And he'd share simple, practical, highly effective things on how to get women, backed up by solid intellectual debate. People like Steve would make an impact but as they began to post less, they'd be forgotten. They didn't attract cultlike followings like many people espousing very complicated formulae. This began to shift over two major events. The first was a series of scandals, lawsuits, and patterns of forgery being exposed in a couple of the west coast schools of seduction. It left people disenchanted and looking for something else. Some more wholistic schools were then embraced, including Natural Game which I was proud to be a part of, and other steps forward like the direct movement. So what is Lo-Tech? It's simple technology that's easy to understand, not glamorous on paper, and achives massive successful results out in the social arena. HIGH-TECH'S PLACE IN THE WORLD High-tech solutions are not only useful but necessary as well. Before I teach a single lo-tech solution, I begin by outling attraction in a scientific way. Here's the Cliff Notes: Attraction is a result of a combination of "VAC" - Value + Attainability + Compliance Value: Value is value for a person's life. There is something that a person wants in an item that makes it valuable to them. In the case of an automobile, it'd be valuable as transportation, for its comfort, and also for its show of status. Sometimes value is consciously recognized, sometimes it fills a subconscious need. Attainability: Attainability is the belief, conscious or subconscious, that you can have something. When I speak to a room of 30+ people, I get the pleasure to do something a little bit nefarious. I ask, "Who in this room has ever been seriously attracted to the idea of owning a yacht?" Usually 2-3 people will raise their hands. I get to then put them on the spot and make them blush with, "And all of you make a pretty good income, don't you?" Sheepish nods all around. People will not become attracted to something they can't have. It's a defense mechanism. They might appreciate it or enjoy it, but they won't pine after it the way they would something they can have. While a yacht would have value for almost any man - It represents power, freedom, luxury, and fun, as well as opening up a whole set of possible adventures - Only men that have at least an outside shot of owning a yacht will become seriously attracted to the idea. Compliance: Formerly termed "work" or "effort" in early renditions of the VAC Model of Attraction, compliance goes beyond that. It includes active work or effort put into an ordeal, but also includes accepting things that you don't necessarily like to the end of having something. Compliance is ruled by the Cost-Worth Conception. This says that people will attribute the worth of something to how much is charged for it. While arguably a flawed way of thinking, it goes a long way to explaining human behavior. The example I use to illustrate this when instructing is a game at a carnival or an amusement park. It'll cost you $5 to $10 to win a small, stuffed tiger from a game at a carnival, as well as some luck and skill. And after you do, how thrilled will you be? You'll likely smile and put it on a shelf as a trophy. What if that stuffed tiger had been given away for free on the street as a promotion for Frosted Flakes? Would you have taken it? Likely not. If it was forced upon you, you might've thrown it away immediately in the nearest trash can. VALUE - WHERE IT ALL STARTS "Prior to the workshop, I understood the concept [that I already had value] intellectually, but that didn't make it true for ME. The fact is, in my reality, I saw myself as a below-average looking guy of low value and the goal was to somehow obscure that fact from women via the use of techniques. The idea of having to actually let it be known I'm attainable so as to not intimidate girls never entered my mind." -"The Parametric Epiphany", Parametric "I'm calling this "The Parametric Epiphany." Nice ring to it eh? Sounds like the title of a life changing event. "I had the privilege of being in the room and seeing Parametric's reaction to Seb and Vin's correction of this false and limiting belief. Even cooler, I observed firsthand his comfort and smoothness while chatting up that hottie latina (she was quite a looker with a megawatt smile). It definitely *wasn't* the vibe of someone who's wondering meekly "Does this girl like me?" but of a cool and confident guy." -Zodiac While many techniques in seduction at-large focus on the building of value, rarely if ever has value been codified and explained. Here is how we do it: Value: In regards to meeting new women, value comes down to "value for her life". That is, something could be valuable in general but not specifically to her - In which case, it is not value for her life, and you don't have value for her. VALUE IS ALL ABOUT PERCEPTION. An internally confident person who has a nervous tick may not appear to confident. Likewise, if you're very nervous but have all the nonverbal communication of a confident person, people will believe you to be confident. The two kinds of value we focus on are: Universal Value: These are characteristics that would be attractive to some degree to all* women, and not unattractive to any. These include confidence, charisma, leadership, health, and ambition. There's theoretically an infinite number of universally valuable traits, but if you're aware of the major ones then you'll cover the minor ones. Specific Value: These are traits that would turn some women on, but others off. Two examples on opposite ends of the spectrum: A "dangerous" guy would be attractive to certain kinds of women, usually younger women who are slightly bored or rebellious. At the same time, danger would be a turnoff to most women looking to put together a stable household and settle down and have children. On the other hand, a man with lots of stability who is risk-adverse might be a turn-off to younger party girls, but would appeal more to women looking for a stable father type. The answer is to develop (or at least develop the appearance) of as much universal value as possible. Since confidence is universally valuable, you want to sit and stand like a confident person (body language). You want to move like a confident person (appear unrushed, fluidity in motion), speak like a confident person (legatto tonality, pauses for emphasis), and make eye contact like a confident person (bridge of the nose, look "through" the other person so your perepheral vision kicks in). All those little techniques listed in parenthesis will make you appear more confident. And perhaps the best part of all is - After you practice them enough, they become subconscious and you do them automatically. Combined with improved thought patterns (especially Focus) you actually become a more confident person. "Have you ever noticed that there's something strange about a lot of sargers [sarge: verb, 'to attempt to pick up women']? It's as if you look at a guy, and you can just TELL that something is missing. And some of these guys even do amazing in the field. They get great reactions most of the time... but, at the same time, they NEVER seem to have a girlfriend. Most of the guys I know are like this. And there are a few reasons why: First, it goes back to one of my cardinal rules: The best way to sarge is to have something BETTER to do than to sarge." -Neil "Style" Strauss, Introduction to "Are you becoming a Social Robot? Style says it well: Universal Value isn't just your precise communication skills. It's all the skills you have. One type of UV is Health: Learning "pickup" won't improve your health, but health is universally valuable. That's scary to some people who don't want to be healthy. I understand that. And the fact is, you can get away with being poorly dressed and unhealthy if you have enough in the way of other universal and specific value. But, by making simple changes like consuming less simple carbohydrates in favor of complex carbs (switch from white to wheat breads, cut down on soda and pastries and sugar), drinking more water, and eating less deep-fried food, you'll have more energy, a better complexion, and a better physique. This does improve your "game", just like more confidence does. The reason why? Health is universally valuable. Just like confident, charisma, humor, quick wit, leadership, decisiveness, indifference to arbitrary social norms, emotional steadfastness, intelligence, culture, worldliness, creativity, desire to reproduce, popularity, self-esteem, grooming, survival instincts, quick reflexes, and ambition. Composite traits are conditions that exist that indicate some of this universal value. "Good body language" is universally valuable, because it shows the appearance of health, confidence, and self-esteem. Power is generally the result of ambition, leadership, and decisiveness (among other things). When Vincent and I wrote the most complete list of universal value that we could over the course of two weeks, we found that roughly half of the traits on the list can be improved through learning "pickup" and seduction skills. The other half, things like creativity, ambition, health, quick reflexes, and so on can be improved, but are done so outside of pickup contexts. Things like martial arts (or any combat sport), nutrition, travelling, and learning about art make you more valuable as a person as well. You want as much Universal Value as you can get. It'll make you into a better, more productive, happier person - that gets better social results as well. Specifically Valuable Traits are things that would turn one woman on, but another woman off. The trade-off is well-worth it if you cultivate the right traits - The kind of women you like will be very interested in you, the kinds of women you don't like will be less interested. If you don't know what you want, or you want variety, then you should stick to universal value (which everyone should maximize). If you do have a strong preference, then we're talking. If you have a strong preference for a type of woman, you can cultivate traits about yourself that lend to your getting that type of woman. Sometimes this is "like gets like". Hippy girls like hippy guys. Punker girls like punk guys. And so on through most countercultures. On the flip side, sometimes it's an opposites thing. Submissive women like dominant men. You can also see cultural patterns. Women like different things in Barcelona than they do in Chengdu. London and Krakow are quite different. So is Mazatlan and New York City. So if you like certain ethnicities of women, speak to someone knowledgeable about the culture who has solid social skills, or talk to a type of man that's very interested in variety, who will often understand that a girl from Trinidad will react to different specifically valuable traits than a girl from Seoul. THE POWER OF FOCUS You may have noticed something in common with all men who get lots of women from nightclubs. It's not that they're all good looking. It's not that they're all wealthy. It's not that they're all mean, or nice, or any specific behavior pattern. They say different things. They do different things. But they've all got one thing in common. "My girls would be in VIP and I'd go down to the floor and if a guy was just having fun and wasn't trying to holler, I'd let him go up and let my girls see if they liked him." -Dan "Spirit Fingers" R.'s girlfriend, Club Promoter and Bartender Focus is quintessential Lo-Tech. Focus is a concept that's so simple on the surface that two years ago, it would have been shunned by socially awkward people. In the last two years, there's been an evolution in this area of social science. The TNG movement combined with the publication of The Game has more cool people than ever in the seduction community, and they're demanding technique that works - especially if it should be obvious. The fact of the matter is, cool guys who get women go out and do two things better than everyone else - 1) They have fun. 2) They socialize. The first two focuses we prescribe are none other than Have Fun and Be Social. The reason why - Have you ever been driving your car, had the radio on, and been either eating or talking on your cell phone? Humans have this amazing ability to multitask, and many people continually are surprised at what people can do with the "back of our minds". After you learn concepts like Universal Value and Situational Relevance (which is simply choosing things appropriate for the current moment in conversation, including "opening") then it's time to work on those skills. The problem becomes when your primary focus is to "do sets" or "do approaches". The reason is you'll run into the problem that every pickup artist, from Razorjack to Craig to Tyler to Woodhaven to everyone else has sworn is social suicide - The "Hunter Vibe". It's when you look around a club for a "hot babe" to approach, ignoring everyone else around you. Or sit on the wall and get drunk if there aren't any hot enough girls there, jumping into action if any walk in the door. The problem with this is that these behaviors are indicative of "low value" (the lack of, and/or opposite of universally valuable traits). These scream "player". Cool people are cool because they're always having fun and socializing with everyone around them. So the first question you should always ask yourself is this - "Am I having fun?" If you are not, begin having fun before moving on to the next step. If you like to drink, it's okay to have a drink or two. If you like to dance, go dance. If you like to shoot pool, have a game of 8-Ball before you go do your "approaches" if you like. If you aren't having fun and don't have any immediate solution you know will make you have fun, start doing crazy, playful things. 75% of the early part of archive is just me doing silly stuff and laying girls. I'd "open" by taking off a girl's shades and putting them on, swatting her with my umbrella, or throwing a piece of ice at her. These aren't good technique per se - but they can jump start the fun you're having. One fun exercise we do on workshop now, that you can try with your friends, wingmen, or local lair - Have everyone write one decent opener down that they invented, and throw it in a hat. Everyone draws from the hat and uses it at least once or twice that night. We had a student use one such opener, that was really just crazy and ridiculous. He walked up to two girls at the bar, waved his arms around, and yelled, "It's SAUSAGE TIME!!!!" Did it open? ... ... ... Yes. More importantly, it got him having fun. The fact of the matter is: People avoid people that are miserable in bars and nightclubs. People want to meet others who are having a great time and being social. As for socializing - You MUST talk to everyone. Cool guys, uncool guys, cute girls, ugly girls. Young and old. Fashionable and not. Doing so will get you in the right, talkative frame of mind and will help you have fun. For all the pragmatists out there, it also generates what Professor Cialdini calls "social proof" - It shows people liking you and having fun interacting with you. It also has added benefits. Sometimes you'll get in for free to places with cover charges, you can get in with managers to get special access like VIP, and perhaps my favorite of all - Getting in with bouncers so if anyone gets rowdy later and starts trouble with you or yours, you simply have them removed with a wave of your hand (much better to be fun and socialize with the troublemaker and turn him or her into a friend, but good to have the option!) Those are the first two focuses we prescribe. They should take up 50-65% of your conscious thought. You should constantly be having fun and meeting as many people as you can. Handclasp people, pat guys on the back, give girls kisses on the cheeks and get them back. Meet everyone, have a blast doing so. If you're having a bad time, give yourself a liscense to be silly and get yourself feeling lighthearted again. Secondary focus: Your secondary focus is what you think about after you've started having a good time and socializing. This is where you: 3) Make connections. 4) See if people meet your standards. Make connections - Try to relate to people and build people up. Confident, social people make people around them better. They engage in what we call "high value attainability" - This is letting other people know they're good enough to spend time with them, and that they're liked. Find common ground. Then see if people meet your standards, instead of the other way around. Never try to impress people. If you work on universal value in your everyday life (becoming more expressive and interesting, learning communications and speaking skills, grooming yourself better, building self-confidence, doing new and interesting things and so on and so forth) and then you're able to have a lot of fun and be very social anywhere - You've got value. After that, you need to see if people meet your standards. Size them up, see if they'd be fun to be friends with or suitable as a potential girlfriend, and so on. The process of doing so will communicate good things about you - That you have value, to be specific. Having standards suggests you have options - Which means you've got value. Your secondary focuses should take up 25-30% of your thought processes. So again, the steps for successful pickup: *) Learn and better yourself as much as possible, including building universal value as much as possible for yourself. This includes everything that can be learned from the disciplines of communications, psychology, sociology, biology, economics, marketing, and so on. Those are where most of the applied social skills from seduction come from. After that, you'll know a lot of theory and a lot of techniques. It's good to study and learn these, but once you hit "the field" to practice and learn", you need to: 1) Have fun 2) Be social 3) Make connections 4) See if people meet your standards 1&2 are what we call "primary focus". You want to spend 50-65% of your thought process on doing this at first. After that, do 3&4, your secondary focus. You'll spend 25-30% of your mental energy here. That leaves us with "tertiary focus" - This is where everything else goes. This is where your theory goes, this is where you analyze VAC and look for what you're missing. This is where you do compliance technique and work on logistics, among other things. On a good day, only 5% of your thinking will have to be diverted into this. On a bad day, as much as 25% will be. But even on a logistical nightmare of a pickup, having fun, being social, making connections, and seeing if people meet your standards will consist of most of the effort you'll make. Sebastian Drake

Sex Revolution Handbook

2006-02-08T17:14:00.000-08:00

I've been pretty busy lately, which has prevented me from writing much on this blog. I should be getting some more time to update soon, and write some original articles. Also, I'd like to announce that I'm going to start work on my own e-book. It won't be about pickup, it's going to be about sexual techniques, and how to become better in bed. This is an area where I feel a lot of guys in the community are weak, and it's the reason why a lot of guys can't hold girlfriends. Which is too bad, because sex is a very learnable skill, just like pickup. Right now, my sex life is incredible. But it wasn't always that way. Like most other guys, I suffered from anxiety issues and other problems which made me a terrible lay. But by a few years of hard work, improved inner game, and experimentation, I've improved tremendously. My goal in writing the e-book will be to share what helped me on my sexual journey, and give you a plan to become a bedroom legend. I plan on putting a lot of work into this, and it won't be done soon. Look for it to be released around June 2006.

Juggler's Phone Guidelines

2006-02-08T17:11:00.000-08:00

A common question I get from guys is, what do I say on the phone? Mostly, phone game is the same as regular game, except she can't see you. There are a few other guidelines too: start your conversation with a a story, don't talk to her on a bad connnection or in a noisy enviroement, etc. Juggler has a good post from a while back which covers a lot of this stuff:

Originally posted by Juggler This will help some guys who have difficulties over the telephone. People with very different styles from mine may not consider this useful. But for most this should help. 1. No matter who answers the phone announce who you are, "Hi this is Juggler. Is Katie there?" This shows you are proud and confident to be you and it establishes some rapport with a housemate or parent which can be used later. (By the way meeting a girl with her parents is a very good situation. I use my parents routine which many times has gotten the folks pushing their daughter into my arms) 2. If Katie is not there, chat up the person on the phone. "So what's your name? I'm not coming on to you or anything, as far as I know you could have three eyes and green skin but has anyone ever said you have a real sweet phone voice?" etc.. If this person asks to take a message after you ask for Katie, ignore it and ask who they are and begin to charm them. Do not be in a hurry. This shows you feel you are not worthy of a person's time and shows a lack of confidence. Also, when you slow down, your delivery will improve with clarity and nuances in your voice. I do not subscribe to the belief that you need to be the first to end the conversation. As long as you are being charming do not be quick to let this person go. Having said that, try to keep it to about five minutes with this person and do not feel bad if they have to cut you off. Many ASF people read way too much into what is alpha, supplication and all that. If you are being interesting it doesn't matter. On the other hand, if you have run out of material end the conversation. I can not over-emphasize the worth of getting a person who shares her house to like you over the phone. It will make your life much easier. 2b. Try getting off the telephone without leaving a message. The best way is to just say something like, "Pleasure chatting with you XXXXX. Bye." If she asks to take a message at this point just say, "Thanks but no message." Of course Katie will hear you called but there will be a little mystery. 3. Okay, you get Katie on the phone. Do not ask her if she is busy. Do not ask her what she is doing. Do not remind her where she met you. Do not believe you need to be the first to end the conversation. That will make you rush and ruin your rap. Talk slowly and confidently. "Hi Katie. This is Juggler. You would not believe what my niece did yesterday." Or "Remember how we were talking about the sexiest food and you said watermelon. Well I fed some watermelon to my cat and he is looking at me in the strangest way..." Do not expect a 50-50 conversation. At least not at first. You will have to give it alot of momentum. Go right into material. (I define material as a funny story, patterns, an addendum to the conversation you had when you met the girl - whatever works for you.) 4. Keep the charm flowing and return her to the fun, sexy mood you left her in. Slow down your delivery and put sensualness in your voice. DO NOT think about the close. Work to re-attract her. 5. After fifteen minutes or so, the close should be easy. Almost an afterthought. Just talk about it as if it is already a done fact - hardly worth mentioning. Casual like, "Let's get together this week." Then shut up. She will then recite her schedule and let you know where her free-times are. Pick out a day and time which will work for you. I don't want to make this post so long by typing up the details of why it is important for you to hear her schedule first or let her suggest times first. If someone really wants the breakdown on this let me know and I will post. Some guys may think accommodating her schedule is supplicant. Maybe. Heck if I know. What is alpha, what's not alpha... Guys make themselves crazy thinking about that stuff. I just know my flaking is virtually nil. 6. If she claims to be too busy to get together, either act like you didn't even hear it, go back into material and then try to re-close with different language or try to do something immediately, "Let's go for ice-cream. I can pick you up in ten minutes." If that still doesn't work just say, 'Nice chatting with you." and let her go. Maybe repeat the process in a couple weeks or call other girls. 7. In practice, if you put her in the right mood you will have very little problem arranging a meet. Half the time the girls will bring up a meet. Sometimes I'll just keep talking material and try not to arrange a meet. She brings it up a meet and I will just keep talking material. I like to do seemingly counter-productive stuff like that just to wallow in how effective good material is. Always work on her mood. As an example, a couple weeks ago, I called this girl to re-confirm our meet. She had cancelled on me before. From the tone of her first few words I knew she was planning on canceling on me again. But I never gave her the chance. Went right into good material. Steam rolled her into a mood of laughing and fun. Her mind was then changed to, "This guy is making me laugh. I guess I'll give him a shot." I re-confirmed in a very casual way. We met up that night and she ended up sleeping over. I have since lost her. Too bad she was really a sweet girl. But that is another post. One last word. In order to work the phone well, you must have confidence in your verbal abilities. Work on your tone. Work on you speed. Work on your material. Practice steamrolling your friends into a good mood. Juggler

ijjji blog

2006-02-08T17:07:00.000-08:00

There's a new blog out there in the seduction community by ijjji. He's one of the most prolific guys on ASF, so expect regular updates. Check it out here: ijjji's blog

10,000 hits!

2006-01-18T18:00:00.000-08:00

10,217 as I am writing this to be exact. If you look at the hit counter on the bottom of the right sidebar you can see it for yourself. I put the counter up about two months ago, and since then this blog has become enormously successful. Thank you again to everyone who reads this blog and is helped by it, you guys are the reason why I spend time putting together stuff like "The Natural Game Compendium" and writing articles and LRs. You guys rock. -Dan

First Version of the Natural Game Compendium Released!

2006-01-18T17:57:00.000-08:00

If you look over at the right sidebar, you'll see a bunch of links under the category "The Natural Game Compendium." These are the best articles out there on natural game -- fundamental for anyone just starting off, or switching to natural game. Even for those who've already read them, they're great to re-read to allow them to sink in. The Compendium will be updated as good natural game articles are written. -Dan

Body Language Guide

2006-01-18T17:42:00.000-08:00

Lets talk a little bit about body language and how it relates to your attitude and confidence. We all know that people communicate with each other on multiple levels. But did you know that spoken words is just 7% of what we communicate? The majority of communication is done with vocal tones, vocal pitch, movement, body language and gestures. All of these things and more make up our composite body language expressions, such as: Facial expressions, voice intonation, speed of speech , how you walk, the way you carry yourself through the world, having eye contact, how fast you move, and even our breathing. You may ask why body language is so important. First, because it is how we sub-communicate with others. This sub-communication is even more important that ever before, because society has created a link between our actions and how people feel. For example, when you are in room and you feel really nervous, everyone in the room will pick up that you are nervous by your actions, tonality, and speed of your movements. Such things are very obvious, especially to children who are not preoccupied with speech as much as many adults. You can see when somebody is sad, happy, excited, honest, or angry. Look at somebody who rapidly moves his foot up and down. This guy probably can't look anybody in the eyes and is sub-communicating that he is insecure. Somebody who is hunched over, with her feet together, is subconcsiously trying to not be noticed at all. We can find wealth of information about other people by their body language. In terms of seduction, we learn to read what females are saying on a deeper level. An outgoing woman will do the exact same to you, she could tell you a zillion things that you are projecting, just by your image. Let me quote my girlfriend here: “I can see if a guy is good in bed, just by the way he walks.” That is so true. They can tell everything about you, just by the way you look. It comes from all those years of experience of guys hitting on them. If you go out dressed like you do not care about your image at all, you probably don't care, and women will notice this. On the other hand, if you go out dressed as a socially cool guy, you probably are a pretty damn smooth dude. As for the woman, this process of screening by looks and body language is a self-defense mechanism. She really doesn’t want to hook up with some low self-esteem loser, or some boring guy who doesn’t know how to give her some fun in her life. So they screen you and try to find out as many things about you as possible in a very short period of time. Imagine, if you are a HOT girl, would you give 30 minutes of your time to each boring geek that hit on you?? No, you would give him 30 seconds and then the "F#*& off" line. This is because she already knows that he is a boring, lame-ass guy. But what if some super-ultra confident guy, who is well dressed, comes into a room, walks slowly towards a hot girl with a smile on his face, and starts a conversation with a girl? Would she reject him?? Exactly. She would not. Now let me ask you who the really confident in our society are, the ones with an attitude larger then life. Who are they?? Rockstars, company directors, successful managers, doctors, politicians.... etc. Take a look at how they walk, how they sit, how they speak, and you'll notice something really interesting. They are totally calm, like they control TIME. They are not in hurry. The way they move and how they speak completely radiates with super-confidence. Lets take a look at what the most common mistakes are when somebody tries to pick up a girl: • Talking too fast (being nervous) • Talking too much (trying to impress her) • Not knowing what to say next (not enough practice) • Drinking (to become comfortable) • Asking too many questions (you create rapport too soon, but she doesn’t want your rapport unless you have attracted her first) • Body language wrong (hands connected, feet too close, shoulders down, leaning in) • Buying her drinks (trying to buy her over, or even worse, trying to get her drunk) • Not being comfortable talking with strangers (social anxiety) Does any of this radiate with any confidence??? Hell no!! Take a look and see that every action here projects INSECURITY!! Ok, let’s correct this poor body language together. Here is list of things that you must FIX… • Keep your hands out of your pockets. • Stand with you feet wider apart. • Never look down when you walk, look above th horizon • Stand with your chest pushed outwards • Keep your shoulders relaxed and back • Walk confidently and slowly with bigger steps • Take up lots of space, no matter where you are • Pay attention to how you dress • Always lean back. • Touch people when you talk with them (non-sexual), because you must create conversation on all levels, not just verbal. (Later she is going to be used to your touch, and that is perfect for the pre-sex stage!) • All your body language should be comparable in speed. For instance, moving with confidence is good, but it looks incongruent if you talk fast at the same time. One more really important thing my friend would tell you, "Pick-Up doesn't start when you approach her, it starts when you WAKE UP in morning!" and that's so true! Let's move on to the subject of attraction: In order to attract a woman, you must first understand why and how they think. Why the state of attraction exists, and how it happens. The easiest way to understand and explain this is through something known as 'Switches theory’. You know those on/off switches you have in your house for electricity? Now imagine you have 15 of them in one box. That's an analogy for how our minds work. Women have switches such as "Is he attractive?, is he good at sex?" on or off. Every girl out there has a different set of switches, because it really depends on their culture, their childhood, their beliefs and their age, plus a few other minor things. However, there are some common switches you must turn ON to all girls out there. You must be: --Challenging --Alpha --Interesting --Unpredictable --Stylish --Not needy --A good lover --Humorous --Capable of building strong rapport --Secure --Trustworthy --Conversational Now, those switches can be either ON or OFF. There is no value in-between... for geeks, it’s all off. What happens when you switch on most of those switches?? Wow... she starts to be interested in you... actually... she starts to show IOIs (indication of interest). This reaction is totally normal. When she meets a guy who is funny, good looking, interesting, romantic, and not needy, she becomes interested in getting to know him better (read: sleeping with him). Switching on these switches is what demonstrates personality to a woman. You can tell stories where you were romantic. You can hook her with interesting snippets of your life and make her ask you questions where you get to reveal your romantic side. It doesn’t matter, as long as the you flip the romantic switch to the ON position. Every story or routine you have in your arsenal is saying something to her (flipping switches.) When designing routines and stories, you need to first take a look at what you want to convey to her. The easiest way to switch On lot of switches is through good body language, behavior, and a sense of style. Lets take a look at me for example. If you've never seen the way I look, take a look at my webpage photo here... Okay, let's analyze this together... what do you think about this guy just from this photo? Here is what others have said: • He has a lot of confidence • He looks like some badboy or a really adventurous guy • Good looking (average) • He is drinking expensive cocktails, so he probably has some money… • Sex must be amazing with him • He is alpha, he doesn’t worry what others think. • He doesn’t look like some predictable guy... • Not so needy Ok, guys, you get my point... I switched On like 10 switches just by the way I look and behave. There are also switches I haven’t flipped yet: I don’t have trust, rapport, I am not romantic, interesting... and that’s it fellas!!!! That means 5 stories for 5 more switches. That’s like 5 X 5 minutes = 25 minutes to get a girl. Of course you can convey all those things through conversation, and that's fine. But it will take 10X longer! This is the way it works for me, and I am happy. -Badboy http://www.badboylifestyle.com

Empower Your Voice

2006-01-18T17:41:00.000-08:00

"Empower Your Voice" "It's not what you say, it's HOW you say it" Two people can say the same exact words and get totally opposite reactions. Why? What makes others embrace or reject your words? Well there are several elements of successful delivery and they are very subtle! One of them is how you speak with your body, but we will get into that in a bit. On the vocal tip, there are a number of ways that you can communicate more effectively. Projection This was a huge problem for me. Even when I had something interesting to say, people would ignore me because my voice was weak and nasally. I knew something was wrong with me, but it took the help of one of my good friends, who is an actor, to pinpoint the problem. He taught me this simple yet effective exercise that transformed my voice from dud to stud. 1. Take a deep breath using your diaphragm. You do this by paying attention to your gut. When you breathe in, your chest should not rise, rather your stomach should rise. Envision your belly button moving AWAY from your spine as you inhale. Breathe in slowly and deeply. 2. Once your lungs are filled, open your mouth and say "ahhhh" at a comfortable pitch, as you are making this sound, close your mouth so it becomes "Mmmmm" 3. Sustain the sound of your voice but gradually lower your pitch. When done correctly, you will feel a vibration travel from your throat all the way down to your gut. Change your pitch up and down until you can feel a line of vibration stretching from your belly to your throat. When you have honed in on the strongest vibes, you are generating what scientists refer to as "Sympathetic Frequency". It is the optimum vibration that makes your body resonate with the sound of your voice, giving it a much fuller and richer sound. I did this exercise everyday until I got comfortable with my frequency and it made a HUGE difference! Everything I said took on a new meaning and I found that more people wanted to listen to me. Dynamics Fluctuate your pitch. Nobody wants to listen to a monotonous drone! The most engaging speakers modulate their voices and their speech becomes almost song-like. Listen to any great talk show host, actor or comedian and try to mimic their "song" by humming it. This exercise opened a new world of communication for me! Definitive Statements While you are working on your dynamics, pay attention to how you end your sentences. If you tend to finish them on a higher note your statements will sound like questions and you will seem unsure of yourself (???) Practice getting your downswing on so people don't think you are some wishy-washy pansy-ass. (!!!) Pace Trynottotalktoofast and bunchallyourwordstogetherinonebreath, it is unnerving and makes whatever you say seem trivial. Keep your tone slow and deliberate, let those words pour from your throat like honey. Pause for effect often throughout your convos, especially before the high points. Watch politicians, preachers and great storytellers and you will see that dramatic pauses are a great way to make people ................ anticipate your words! Avoiding Brainfarts I discovered I had this problem when I got this crazy idea to record a daily journal on tape. When I played my voice back I was surprised by some disturbing patterns in my speech. At first it was subtle, you know? I uh, really didn't notice anything unusual. Um, but as I uh, listened, I found that my uh, sentences where um peppered with what I call Brain Farts. So many 'uh's um's and 'you know's were covering up the fact that I was not thinking in complete sentences. It is really annoying when people do this because you can tell they are just talking out of their asses. Amazing what a difference it makes to think before you speak! NOTE: I highly recommend recording your voice and listening to yourself. It's a great way to improve on your weaknesses. Seductive Tonality Learn to really enjoy the sound and feeling of your own voice. When speaking with hot babes, try to imagine that the vibration of your vocal chords are giving her ears a slow, sensual massage. Did you know that the low frequency of a male voice is capable of making other peoples bodies vibrate subtly? Just like when your neighbors are throwing a party and all you can hear is the "Thump Thump Thump" but all the high frequencies are cut off. Your tone can travel and penetrate everything around you, including that fine-ass HB you are chatting up Aint it grand to be a man? When you really want to go in for the kill, get closer to her and soften your tone, project like before but make it raspier, softer, SEXIER. Content As the series progresses we will get into the sort of things you should be saying, but for now, let's focus on topics that you should try to avoid. You want to project a fun and easy going vibe so don't bring the following topics up, and if SHE starts talking about them, humor her but change the subject, because these may be stimulating convos to have with a buddy, but they will not have the desired effect on the girl. Trust me! I used to make this mistake all the time. Try to steer clear of: • Religion • Politics • Conspiracy Theories • Sad Themes (World hunger, war, disease, etc) • Bitter Themes (she won't wanna hear what a stupid wh0re your ex was) • Technobabble (girls are not impressed by your coding abilities) • In other words, anything NEGATIVE or BORING! Making Phat, Funky Beats This one is critical! Repeat after me... BOOM TICKA BAP TICKA TICKA BOOM BAP TICKA BOOM BOOM BAP TICKA TICKA BOOM BAP TICKA BOOM TICKA BAP TUH-BAP TUH-BOOM BAP TICKA BOOM BOOM BAP TUH-BOOM TUH-BOOM BAP TICKA The "BAP"s are spoken at a higher pitch.. repeat this phrase for a bonus beat-box lesson..what can I say, I am feeling extra generous today! Yes, I know this has jack sh!t to do with seduction and I am completely crazy. Moving on.. It has taken time and practice, but these days I get compliments on my voice all the time and am confident enough to bust some rhymes in front of a crowd, not too soft or loud, my tone's often proud with no apologies please I freeze all the wannabes with my buttah steez as I get lost in sound! Oh yes I mack hotties when I bless the party, work em up with the voice, then I finesse with the body!

The Law of Equal Value Contribution

2006-01-17T16:40:00.000-08:00

The Law of Equal Value Contribution: In order for a relationship to work in the long term, both people must contribute roughly equal amounts of value to the other person's life. If they don't, the person contributing more value will become dissatisfied because they know they could get more value in a relationship than they are getting. They will then subconsciously or consciously sabotage and destroy the relationship. In this post I'll cover the three ways which you can contribute value to another person's life in an relationship to maintain equal value, and how you can make the law of equal value contribution work in your favor. They are: 1. By contributing social value 2. By contributing sexual value 3. By contributing monetary value Social Value Social value is the main way to contribute value to a woman's life that is covered on this board. Dimitri has a very good post on this -- "Distractions vs. Solutions." Basically, in order to have a relationship with a woman in the long-term, you must not just be a distraction from her real needs, you must fulfill her needs. There are a few different ways to do this. The first is to maintain the same level of fun, energy and excitement after sex as before sex. Be the same person who you were when you first seduced her. This spells problems for people who use lots of routines and don't have the personality to back them up. If you're routine dependent, you'll never get anything more than one-night stands because once all your material is used up, you're right back to being a loser. The advantage of learning skills like spontaneity, mutual value escalation, frame control, congruence to intention, and alpha BL and tonality are that they will benefit you in a relationship just as much as in initial pickups. If you want to have healthy relationship, focus on developing these things rather than material that can only be used once. The same goes for indirect vs. direct game. Indirect game is useful in initial pickups. I will often use it myself in certain social situations. HOWEVER, in a relationship, you can't be backturning her and calling her your bratty little sister all the time. It is clear that you guys like each other, so in order to maintain a relationship with her you have to be direct in your intention. You must qualify her well, and genuinely care about her. Again, if you wish to improve your social value in relationships, work on your direct game. It is absolutely critical that you provide the girl with genuine love and affection. If not, you're not fulfilling all her needs, and she'll look somewhere else for a relationship. This is a deep social need a woman. You must provide her with security -- she must know that you're not going to leave her on a whim, and that she is important to you. Another way to contribute social value to a woman's life is to become exclusive to her. This increases her social status, because she got you in a relationship on the terms society says she should. Low value guys are forced to become exclusive to girls because they can't contribute value to their lives in any other ways. A way to contribute social value to a man's life, on the other hand, is to leave him free to pursue other relationships. High value guys can do this with ease, because the women must conform to the law of equal value contribution, or the relationship will fail. Exclusivity is not actually as much social value as you might think. If you aren't exclusive to a girl, you can still contribute social value to her life by letting her show you off to her friends, genuinely caring about her, never causing drama or creating unneccessary negative emotions, and providing security for her. If you are low value and her friends think you're a loser, you're neurotic and pick fights, and cause her to think you might break up with her anytime, exclusivity isn't going to do you much good. But, often for guys who are moderately below their GFs in value, exclusivity is the only way to keep them. A big misconeption in relationships is that women like drama. This is completely and utterly false. Normal, non-psycho women don't like drama because picking petty fights and arguments is beta. It creates negative emotions and detracts value from her life. Women only prefer drama to boredom, which they hate more than anything. In order to maintain a loyal girlfriend, you should listen and care about all her concerns about the relationship. Build the connection that you have, and minimize those things which break down the comfort and trust between you. If she is acting badly, tell her firmly but calmly that she's acting weird, and while you care about her and don't want to see her sad, she needs to get back to being her normal happy self if she wants the relationship to work. Sexual Value Sexual value is by far the most important form of value you can contribute to a woman's life. It contributes about 70% of the value in a relationship, while social and monetary value combine for the other 30%. Most guys don't realize this. Even ASF guys, who know, at least intellectually, that women want and need sex more than men. For all the talk about "escaping the Matrix" in the community, most sargers still have society's model of sex in their mind and don't realize just how important sex is to women. An example of this is the "Rocks vs. Gold" routine found in the Layguide. If you're not familiar with it, the gist of it is that women want rocks, which stand for dinner dates, gifts, etc. and men want gold, which stands for sex. In order for a relationship to work, there must be a tradeoff between what the man wants (sexual value) and what the woman supposedly wants (social and monetary value). This is a terrible routine invented by a low value guy who has no idea how female psychology actually works. Men only have to "pay" for sex with dates, gifts, etc. IF THEY ARE OF LOW SEXUAL VALUE. If they are of high sexual value, they can work the equation in the other direction and get women to buy them dinner, gifts, etc. in exchange for sex. Women are controlled much more by their sexuality than men. They are constantly having sexual fantasies which they never tell anyone about -- about getting ****ed by a stranger, getting ****ed by two guys at once, getting gang-raped, etc. These sexual feelings are all the more intense because women are forced to repress them. Additionally, women experience at least ten times the pleasure men do in the bedroom. They can have many different types of orgasms, as well as having multiple orgasms in rapid succession. Additionally, because they are not the one in control of the intercation and are being dominated, the emotions and sensations they experience through sex are much more intense than ours. Men, on the other hand, are controlled mostly by the immediacy of our sexual needs. Because of basic biological reasons, it is very hard for a man to go even a few days without getting laid. However, if you have multiple relationships and are having sex 10+ times per week, this consideration disappears. The sexual value of any individual woman drops, because you never feel the urgency to **** right away. Women judge a man approximately 70% on sexual criteria and 30% on everything else. People tell you that great relationships are build on compatibility and chemistry (social value). While you need social value too, the foundation of great relationships is always great sex. If you want to have good relationships, you must become good in bed. Otherwise, you'll only score 30/100 in her book, even if you do everything else right and financially support her. If order to be extraordinary in bed, you must do two things. I writing a full post on becoming good in bed soon, but here's a brief summary. 1. Psychologically satisfy a woman by completely dominating her. At their core, women want a guy who will treat them like a piece of meat in the bedroom, that can pin her arms to the bed while he ****s the **** out of her and makes her tell him what a slut she is. Think Tyler Durden ****ing Marla Singer in Fight Club. That's what you're going for. IMPORTANT NOTE: This is NOT how women want to be treated outside the bedroom! Given the choice, she will pick the guy who treats her like this all the time over a guy who cannot dominate her, but ideally she wants a guy who can love her and appreciate her as a person outside of bed, and also knows what she wants in bed. Most guys can't do this because they have inner game issues and are secretly disgusted by girls acting like sluts in the bedroom. You have to learn that there is nothing wrong with female sexual desire, and that she can be an intelligent and wonderful human being and still have those desires. 2. You must physically satisfy her needs by having the size, strength and stamina to **** her hard for long periods of times and make her ***. Obviously size you can't do much about size, but as long as your **** isn't freakishly small, it's nowhere near as important as strength and stamina is the bedroom. Increasing your strength and stamina is akin to training for a powerlifting event or a marathon. In order to become good you need some basic technique, then it is just a matter of training your body until you are a superstar. You'll know when you're contributing more sexual value to the relationship than she is when she starts wanting sex more than you do. At this point, you are in control of the relationship. You are contributing more sexual value to it than her, and you can continue it on your terms indefinitely. Material Value However, whenever the value contributed to the realtionship is unequal, the person contributing more value becomes dissatisfied. Deep down, they know that the other person is getting more out of the relationship than them, and it creates resentment. Because the other person's behavior is good and they have no acceptable reason to end the relationship, they start to treat their partner with disrespect, subconsciously sabotaging the relationship. This is the cause for a lot of the drama, petty fights, and misery in relationships. This can take the form of the hot girl frustrated with a submissive guy, or a PUA getting bored with a girl. There is an alternative. Most of the time in relationships, both people are contributing as much social and sexual value as they are capable of. In order to follow the law of equal value contribution, one person can start to contribute material value to compensate for their lack of sexual and social value. This is most often seen in the case of a timid or weak guy with low sexual value who has a hot girlfriend. He must financially support the girl and provide her with status and security, in order to equalize the value contributed to the relationship. This allows their relationship to go on in the long term, otherwise the hot girl would just end up resenting the guy and destroying the relationship. Less often seen is the case of the alpha male bedroom superstar with a hot girl. Even though she's hot, because the man's sexual value is so astronomically high, her sexual value and total value is significantly lower than his. So in order to follow the law of equal value contribution, she must clean his house, cook for him, do his laundry, buy him dinners, buy him clothes, and in extreme cases, straight up give him cash. These types of relationships are frowned upon by society, despite the fact that a girl getting material value out of a guy in a relationship is considered fine. This is why a lot of ASF guys have a lot of inhibition to learning reverse supplication game when they're first starting. I know I did myself. What you have to realize though, is that contributing material value is a perfectly acceptable way to add value to a relationship. If you are legitimately of higher value than one of your girlfriends, than your relationship is doomed in the long term unless you allow her to contribute just as much value as you are to the relationaship in some form. You will sense she needs you more than you need her, and start treating her with disrespect and ruining your relationship. If you allow her to contribute material value to your relationship, then you have given your relationship the chance to survive in the long term. You are only asking that she bring as much to the table as you are, and you are giving her a chance to be with a higher quality guy than she could have gotten with her social and sexual value alone. You aren't doing anything wrong -- you can love and care about a girl, and not be manipluating her in any way when you run reverse supplication game on her. Reverse supplication game basically consists of being significantly higher value than the girl, and properly structuring the opportunity for her to contribute material value to your life. I just recorded an interview for my blog with Woodhaven, who is undoubtedly the authority in the community on reverse supplication game. In the interview, he goes into detail on how exactly to do this. So: the takeways from this post 1. In a relationship, both people must be contributing equal amounts of value, or the relationship will fail. Value can be either social, sexual, or material. 2. The main way in which you contribute value to a relationship is sexual. Although it varies for most girls, usually around 70% of your value to a woman is sexual. The foundation of good relationships is good sex. 3. If your value is legitimately higher than a girl's you can expect her to contribute material value to your relationship without creating resentment. It is not abusive or manipulative, in fact, it allows your relationship to survive in the long term. -Dan

Disqualify the General, Qualify the Specific

2006-01-17T16:39:00.000-08:00

The difference between lame, supplicating compliments and powerful qualifying compliments is that lame compliments are to general traits the girl has, while powerful compliments are specific to the girl. A common social error made by guys (and girls) is trying to qualify someone on a trait they have which they share with a lot of people. For example, saying that you like girls of her race, or hair color, or complimenting her on lame stuff which isn't really unique to her. Also, complimenting her on being good looking in general without saying anything specific to her (direct openers don't count because they're not actually qualifying her, they're just giving you a situationally relevant way to open her). This is the AFCs do. It comes off as lame because in the back of her mind she knows that she didn't really EARN the compliment, and you're just doing it to try and make up for your lack of value. Examples: (After talking to a girl for hours) Guy: You know, you're really beautiful (and not saying anything SPECIFIC that he likes about her looks) Girl: Uh, thanks (thinking: weirdo) or Guy: You're Japanese? Awesome!!! I only date Japanese girls (attempting to raise your value by qualifying her on something she didn't put any work into, comes off as lame) or Guy: So what do you do for fun? Girl: Um...I dunno...I like watching movies Guy: Really? I like movies too. We should catch a movie together sometime (Rewarding her with a compliment and show of interest for a lame response which isn't unique to her. The girl will know that she didn't really deserve this, and the guy's value will go down. She'll sense he's chasing her.) Girl: Uh...I'm busy... Instead of doing this, set yourself apart by disqualifying general characteristics. A good example of this is how Dimitri tells Japanese girls that he never dates Japanese girls (and then later he ****s them . You can disqualify a girl on any general characteristic she has about her. In fact, sometimes it's necessary for a girl to feel fully qualified for you that shut down her lame attempts to DHV and disqualify her on them. Examples: Girl: Yeah I didn't think this outfit was anything special, but all these guys were staring at me when I was walking down the street today (trying to DHV by showing that other guys are attracted to her) Guy: Really?!?! High five! (then takes his hand away when she goes for it and makes her look dumb, and playfully shuts down her lame DHV) or Guy: Usually I'm not attracted to girls who are blonde/short/tall/older/younger/whatever general trait, but I like you because you're (specific trait). (makes her feel more qualified because she feels she was initially at a disadvantage to other girls in getting you, but overcame that through the work she put into getting you) or Guy: So what do you do for fun? Girl: Um...I dunno...I like watching movies... Guy: Wow, that's awesome. I can just see you on a Friday night, and all your friends are like "hey, lets go out and get drunk," and you're like "noooo, I don't like going out, I gotta stay here and watch MOVIES..." (playfully shutting down the lame DHV attempt because it's not unique or special to her) Girl: Haha, shut up, I'm not like that (qualifying herself) Guy: Well, that's good (goes into stories about his life to make her open up more) The things which you should qualify her on should all be specific to her. The more specific to her they are, the more powerful the qualification is. This is why while general direct openers (Hey, I think you're cute) work, specific direct openers (Hey, I saw you walking here wearing that crazy purple hat and sparkly shirt, and I think you look really amazing) work better. Examples: Guy: Are you adventurous? Girl: Yeah, I like to do crazy things. This one time I decided that I wanted to go skydiving...I was so scared when I was in the plane, but finally I got up the courage and I jumped out, and it was one of the greatest experiences of my life. Guy: That's really cool. I like girls who do crazy stuff like that. (rewarding her for a genuinely interesting DHV story, which is unique and specific to her) or Guy: So what do you do for fun? Girl: I'm a writer, I'm working on my own novel right now. Guy: Really...I'm actually a writer too. You should show me some of your work sometime (Rewarding her by showing interest in something unique to her, comes across well) So remember: Disqualify the general, qualify the specific. Playfully shut down lame DHV attempts, and qualify the DHV stories of the girl that are unique and specific to her. -Dan

A Complete Guide to Vibing

2006-01-17T16:36:00.000-08:00

Vibing is commonly thought of in the community as “fluff talk,” or just filler in between your routines. Even by people who run completely spontaneous game, there’s never been an in-depth breakdown of vibing. In this post, I will cover: 1.Beginning vibing: Always having spontaneous conversational material, and solving the problem of “stalling out.” 2.Set-up questions: How to vibe when the girl gives you nothing to vibe off of. 3.Timing: How to be completely spontaneous by vibing only off currently relevant topics. 4.Advanced vibing: Leading the conversation away from negative and boring topics, and towards emotionally powerful topics. 1. Beginning Vibing A common problem for guys without a lot of social experience is that they "stall out" when they are having conversations with girls. This is caused mostly by a lack of experience with vibing, either by a lack of social experience or by over-reliance on canned material. The most important thing to learn about vibing is that you cannot have an interesting conversation on a single topic for any period of time. The second most important thing is that outside of some very high-energy club environments, you cannot just switch topics randomly. You need to vibe smoothly from one topic to the next. Vibing is mostly a process of topic association. With everything she says, a girl will give you a number of potential directions in which to take the conversation. Good vibing is the result of being aware of these directions on an unconscious level, and taking the conversation down the best path. Let's take an easy example. Suppose a girl said to you "At this party last night, I got really drunk and started grinding with my girlfriend and making out with her." Possible topics for you to vibe off of are: 1. The party last night 2. Parties in general 3. What you did last night 4. Getting really drunk 5. Girls making out with other girls 6. Her girlfriend 7. Grinding/dancing 8. Dancing at parties/clubs This is the easy part. Just by recognizing what a wealth of topics she presents you with every time she opens her mouth, you'll solve the problem of "stalling out" and having nothing to say. Occasionally, you can break the association rule, and make a topic switch with no transition. The key to this is to do it sparingly, especially in low-energy environments. Too much totally unrelated topic switching makes it seem like you’re nervous and too occupied in thinking of the next thing to say to listen to the person and enjoy the conversation. Once you've mastered beginning vibing and you no longer "stall out," you can move on to the advanced version of vibing, which is picking the best topic to attract the girl with. More on that later. 2. Set-up questions Usually, girls don't present us with sentences as topic-rich as that last one. For example, let's say you called a girl, said hi, and told her a short story. She laughs, or says cool or whatever, and then doesn't follow that up with questions or a story of her own. You now have NOTHING to vibe off of. This is when most guys panic and bust out an irrelevant canned routine, trying to entertain a girl into talkativeness. Wrong move. A better way is to ask what I call "set-up questions." A set-up question is a question which is useless by itself, but opens up possibilities for vibing. They are basically the questions AFCs ask all the time. The different between a set-up question and an AFC question is the purpose it is asked for. Examples are: What have you been up to lately? Where do you live? Are you in college? I hear an accent, what nationality are you? Obviously, useless for attracting a girl by themselves. You want to avoid asking these questions too much, and only ask them as much as you have to in order to create material to vibe off of. Let’s go back to our phone example, where you have nothing to vibe off of. This happens to me all the time, and usually I’ll ask the first set-up questions I listed “So, what have you been up to lately?” if she’s unresponsive to my initial story. Sometimes I get a good answer from this, but often it’s something like “well I got called into work…it was so stressful…and then I watched some TV.” The possible topics here are work, stress and TV. This is something which stumps a lot of guys, when they aren’t presented with any emotionally powerful topics. The critical thing to understand with these responses are that YOU CAN SPIN ANY TOPIC, NO MATTER HOW BORING, INTO AN INTERESTING OR EMOTIONALLY POWERFUL ONE. Let’s take the example of work. You can easily spin the topic of work into something interesting by telling an interesting work-related story which happened to you or someone you know in the past few days. For example, in a situation like this a few days ago, I responded with “Yeah, I know what you’re saying, work can be stressful sometimes (pace her reality). I remember once I was doing the same thing, working for twelve hours, and I came home really tired. I walk into my kitchen to grab something to eat, and my girlfriend at the time was there, cooking something. At first it kind of freaked me out, I was like “how did you get in?” It turns out she actually broke in through the back door and just started cooking in my kitchen. But anyways, she knew that I was working all day so she decided to surprise me by cooking me some Salvadorean food for when I got home. And I thought that was awesome…I loved how she would always do little things like that for me. I thought I was tired when I got home, but after that I didn’t feel tired anymore. We ate, and then I took her out to a club and we danced all night. I think it’s crazy how you can think you’re tired, but then you see someone who you like and they can make you feel better. So anyways…you seem like the type of person who would do little things like that for people…are you? Of course, don’t copy my story, you need to make up your own. If you copy mine, it will come off as ENTERTAINING and canned, and it will hurt your game. And most importantly, don’t tell the story to try to demonstrate value, do it to smoothly set-up the screening question. The important thing to notice in this story is how I spin the boring topic of work smoothly into an interesting story, and then into a screening question. If you can do this, you can vibe even when the girl is having trouble opening herself up to you. 3. Timing Timing is absolutely CRUCIAL for good vibing. The biggest thing I’ve noticed in conversations is that a really funny or emotionally powerful remark at one point in the conversation is no longer funny or powerful ten or even five seconds later. The biggest social error I made when I was just learning how to vibe was latching onto topics, and “saving” them for later. Once I heard a good topic, I would ignore the rest of what the person said, and just wait for them to stop talking so that I could go off on my thread. The most critical thing to understand with timing is that SPONTANEITY AND RELEVANCE ALWAYS TRUMPS THE VERBAL VALUE OF WHAEVER YOU HAVE TO SAY. Always, always, always. A great thing to say now will fall flat on its face ten seconds from now. If you have something great to say, but the person continues talking and gets on a different topic LET IT GO. However great it was, it is better that you say something relevant and semi-interesting than something irrelevant and very interesting. This all goes back to demonstrating value. And by demonstrating, I mean actually demonstrating in a way that can’t be faked, not telling DHV stories which are actually a subtle way of qualifying yourself. If you say something awesome but irrelevant, it comes off as attempting to compensate for your lack of value by trying really hard to come up with interesting conversational material. Also, it shows that you aren’t listening to her, and that you’re too nervous and wrapped up in what to say next to actually pay attention to what’s being said. Contrast this to the guy who’s spontaneous at all times, even when it means sacrificing the opportunity to tell a few of his favorite stories. Even though he may not be verbalizing value by telling DHV stories, he is *demonstrating* value by being spontaneous. This shows that he is relaxed, enjoying the conversation, and not trying to entertain the girl. If a really interesting topic comes up and you really want to talk about it, the only way to bring it up in a relevant way is to cut the other person off and start your thread. Be careful with this though…you only want to cut someone else off if you could significantly improve the direction of the conversation by doing so. I've met guys who cut people off all the time for no reason, and it comes across as try-hard and needy for attention. Some examples of timing: BAD TIMING: Girl: So the other day, my friends and I went to this really awesome party. Then when we were coming home, these gross old guys starting hitting on us, and I was like, ewww. But my friend is so drunk she actually starts going for them, and I have to drag her away. So anyways, we get back to my apartment and put my drunk friend to bed, and me and my other friends start talking about the guys we’ve gone out with lately. We were saying how weird it is, when you meet a guy and he’s drunk, and in the daytime he’s a totally different person. It’s like, there’s so many guys out there that are cool at a party, but in real life they’re just not boyfriend material. Guy: Yeah, so the other day I was at this awesome party too… (guy totally missed the importance of the story) GOOD TIMING: Girl: (Same story)… cool at a party, but in real life they’re just not boyfriend material. Guy: Yeah, I hear what you’re saying. I think girls can be the same way sometimes. And I mean that’s cool, I love to party too, but I think it’s important that people be able to both party, and be someone who you can have a good time with in the daytime when you’re both sober. Like, you seem like a party girl, you definitely know how to go out and have fun. What do you usually do for fun in the daytime? (Responded with something well-timed and relevant, AND spun her attempts to screen him into a frame where he is screening her) POSSIBLY GOOD TIMING: Girl: So the other day, my friends and I went to this really awesome party. Then when we were coming home, these gross old guys starting hitting on us— Guy: (cutting her off) Haha, yeah I love that. I used to go to a club with all these girls, and they would always tell me all these horror stories about these fat drunk old guys who would try to hit on them. Like, they’d be dancing and this smelly old French guy would start grinding with them. That’s what I like about being a guy, when I see a smelly old lady dancing, I don’t have to go dance with her. (Good because it is relevant, but be careful not to overuse this. In this case it would be better to let the girl finish the story, because she’s trying to open herself up to you and give you better material to vibe off of) 4. Advanced Vibing (or, Directional Vibing) When you are first beginning, vibing is about recognizing the possible topics and picking one in order to keep the conversation going. As you become more spontaneous and no longer have problems with “stalling out,” you want to use your vibing to lead the conversation down the best direction for attracting the girl. The direction that you want to lead the conversation down if you are using a natural style is to lead the conversation towards a frame where you are screening her for the qualities which you desire in a relationship. If you are using an indirect style, you can also use directional vibing to lead the conversation into your routines. Of course, a routine will never have the spontaneity of real, spontaneous conversation, but by vibing well between your routines you can at least make them seem less canned. If you are using Natural Game like I do, the direction which you want to lead the conversation will be specific to your own experiences and the traits which you desire in a woman. There is no one direction which is best for all people, but you always want to be leading the conversation towards screening for the unique qualities which you find attractive. Let’s take the example from the section of beginning vibing. "At this party last night, I got really drunk and started grinding with my girlfriend and making out with her." Again, the possible topics for you to vibe off of are: 1. The party last night 2. Parties in general 3. What you did last night 4. Getting really drunk 5. Girls making out with other girls 6. Her girlfriend 7. Grinding/dancing 8. Dancing at parties/clubs Personally, I love girls who can have fun, but I don’t like girls who are boring unless they are drunk. So, I’d pick to topics of getting really drunk and dancing, and say: “I think that’s awesome that you can just cut loose and be crazy like that (qualifying her). I love girls who aren’t afraid to go out there and have fun. The thing is, with a lot of people in Boston, they’re really shy. Like, if they’re at a party, they won’t talk to anyone outside their group or dance unless they’re really wasted. And I think that’s too bad, because drinking is cool, but I think you should be able to have fun when you don’t drink too. So what about you, are you crazy like that when you don’t drink? (screening) Of course, everyone likes different things. If you were into MFF threesomes, you could lead the conversation in a direction where you talk about her experiences with other girls, and ask if she is bisexual. The most common application of this is that girls will repeatedly get on logical or negative topics during conversation. It is your job to recognize that these topics are hurting the conversation, and spin them into something positive and interesting which builds attraction. Conclusion: Vibing is your most important verbal conversational skill. To develop the ability to vibe well, repeatedly put yourself in social situations, and become conscious of the array of topics presented to you. This will prevent stalling. Use set-up questions to create material to vibe off of. Time your remarks well, letting go of anything which you have to say which isn’t completely spontaneous. And finally, use directional vibing to lead the conversation down a interesting and sexually charged path. Read more from Spirit Fingers on his blog Spirit Fingers

The right and wrong way to compliment

2006-01-17T16:34:00.000-08:00

There is a right and a wrong way to give compliments to girls. In fact, there is a way that is very very right, and a way that is very very wrong. Some guys will tell you not to give compliments at all, but giving compliments can be a very powerful technique when done right. Wrong Compliments The wrong sort of compliments come from a place of perceived lower value. This is how AFCs compliment chicks. They say "You're so pretty" or "You're so clever" and the subcommunication is "I hope someone like you could be interested in me!" Proper Compliments Conversely, proper compliments actually subcommunicate higher value. They should come from a position of authority and imply a unique quality or commonality. The proper structure for an effective compliment is: 1. Compliment "that's a great scarf" 2. Qualify the compliment "it matches your mascara and shoes, I like that" 3. Challenge her or enquire "did you choose it yourself?" Thanks to Geoff of RSD for educating me on point 3. Some examples: * "You're very confident... I like that in a girl... How did you get to be like that?" * "Nice dreadlocks!... They must have taken ages... Aren't they hard to clean?" WILKY's - Why I LiKe You's A good way to think about compliments is as a WILKY. It's important to tell girls WHY you like them, and give reasons other than "you have a vagina". Well done sheriff for thinking up a nice acronym. When to give compliments In general, you want to give compliments only when the girl is sufficiently attracted. This will usually mean "not straight away". If you feel that the chick things your value is way higher than hers, then you need to qualify her, and compliments are a good way to do this. Opening with Compliments One way to give compliments early on is as an opener, and it's a great exercise to see if you can make these work. The important thing is to be non-reaction-seeking. 1. Compliment her - "nice dreadlocks", "cool shoes", "I like your earrings", in a totally casual, confident, non-reaction seeking way. 2. Backturn, turn back to your friend, look away, disregard. If it's a server at a bar I'll roll right into ordering without waiting for a response "cool-earrings-could-I-have-three-pints-of-Ale-please" 3. Wait for her to re-open. Depending on how you turn away she'll tug on your arm or casually swing into view. If she doesn't re-open you, it's probably because she's shy. Re-open her later with "hey, cool-shoes-girl" or whatever. Magnus

Points of Persistence

2006-01-17T16:33:00.000-08:00

Not ejecting - Get rejected, make sure she isn’t attracted to you before you run out of things to say or the conversation lulls and you go "ok then maybe see ya around" and walk off like a goof. When you let the cat out of the bag for getting her alone with you, not isolation/extraction/MM based talk I am talking when you say "fuck it lets save some money on drinks and listen to some GOOD tunes back at my place and get out of here". Another point of persistence, she will probably or maybe go "probably shouldn't" or "maybe I dunno". GET A NO, she’s a CHICK, her ASD wont allow her to make it happen if she tries to "play cool" or is sitting on the fence in decision, so you gotta. Final point is of course LMR, making out alone together at home and she goes "we just met this feels to fast", simply do the stuff from GWM and say "yeah but this is nice isn’t it" and keep making out until she gets hot enough to not object. Those are persistence, the perception of persistence as chasing her drooling and slobbering is one I have no idea where the fuck it came from. I know I don’t own persistence but it tends to be thought to "go gunwitch" is to start groping and talking sex which it isn’t. Along with amplification of sexual desire and rapport, the above 3 points of persistence are what I never stall on, and hence rarely fail in my PUs. Gunwitch

Confident Rapport

2006-01-17T16:32:00.000-08:00

The majority of theories on how to pick up girls were compiled by guys who had problems with women and tried to get better. Therein lies the very nature of the problems with most theory. They all assume that you, going over to the girl, have less value then her. By assuming this, you're forced to play a role of lower value. Why on earth are you assuming you are worth less then the girl? I don't care how hot she is! This is especially true of the rapport versus attraction theory. The theory is: assuming you have two glasses that you need to fill attraction and rapport, the attraction glass must be filled before she will pay attention to your rapport. Well this theory suffers greatly from 'my rapport isn't high enough value for her to listen to. What your saying is that you have to WORK for her ATTENTION. By thinking this, you PLAY into the role of having less value. Let me put it to you this way, if you are a nerd and you walk over to a hot girl and she says "bug off," you're probably going to turn around and walk away right? Then your going to come up with strategies to make her pay attention. Now what if you were better looking then Brad Pitt, had more money then Donald Trump, and she said that. You would probably laugh. And she would respond differently because you responded differently. You see all the outer problems stem from internal responses. What you believe shapes your reality. And if you believe you need to fill an attraction glass- that you need to fight for her attention you are falling into the frame that you are inherently NOT good enough. Well my friend, this is BASED on FALSE assumptions that you are not good enough and therefore must get her interested. If you assume anything at all- instead assume she loves to hear your rapport and get to know you. All people WANT- NEED to be loved. they just have filters. You should assume your better then the guys she filters out, and laugh away any resistance. Why bother juggling and dancing, and doing all kinds of routines just to get her attention. Respond differently to resistance, respond with confidence and you can forget the two glass theory. How you respond to her should MAKE her interested by displaying a stronger reality. Like my business partner Cameron Teone always used to say- it is like the scene in the Matrix where Neo must jump across the buildings. He can't do it until he truly believes. Well, I am telling you to believe in yourself and knock over the attraction glass. You DON'T need it. It is a theory born from insecurity. All you need is rapport: confident rapport. So what’s the difference between insecure rapport and confident rapport? It comes down to your inner beliefs. Do you believe she's going to listen and like what you have to say about yourself. You should. In fact she should be hanging on every word you say because you believe she needs you. If you have that inch of doubt, that means you believe she isn't ATTRACTED to you, and you need to build the attraction then. But what if you didn't have that doubt? Girls can smell confidence, and they can definitely detect any insecurity. They will see the confidence you have in yourself when you are straight forward and you just assume they will like you. And they WILL respond positively. Remember an inch of doubt and you're dead in the water. Dreamweaver

Think Beyond the Medium

2006-01-17T16:29:00.000-08:00

THINK BEYOND THE MEDIUM! This has always been the core of my PU skills. I’ve always ranted about THINKING BEYOND THE MEDIUM. Unfortunately not too many people understand what I mean when I say “think beyond the medium”. This post is a pretty good example of what I mean. Anyways let’s roll! :) One example is body language. I’m sure everybody here has read TD’s post about the 25 points. It’s a great post. Unfortunately I can’t keep track of all 25 things in my head. My solution was to just say to myself, “Hey this is who I am and I’m gonna do whatever I have to, to achieve my goals! And if someone else doesn’t like it, then fuck ‘em!” Then I’m totally relaxed and comfortable when I’m out PUing. Then all of the 25 points fall right into place! I’ll even do things like lean in and it still won’t matter. Why? BECAUSE I DON’T GIVE A FUCK! The medium here is body language, but in order to fix my BL I had to think beyond BL. I had to think about how I felt about myself instead and fix that. Here’s some insights I’ve learned about myself lately: 1. Falling into a rhythm: Ok, you boys know that I run a natural game. I just basically go with whatever I feel and run with it. I don’t try to impress, entertain, run routines, etc when picking up chicks. I just go by what I feel, calibrate slightly to the type of chick I’m talking to and just flow with it. There are advantages and disadvantages to running this type of game. The biggest advantage is that it makes the game very simple and easy. You don’t need to think, you just flow with the interaction. Another thing is that you fall into a rhythm or pattern of doing things. This can be both good and bad depending on what that pattern of behavior and your goals are. When out PUing in a club, I always fall into a rhythm. That rhythm dictates my behavior for the rest of the night. For instance, if I hook up with other people before hitting up the clubs, then I fall into what I call “party mode”. From there on I get into a rhythm of just going out to have fun and not worrying about picking up chicks. I do approach and talk to chicks but I’m not sexual cuz I’m only out to have fun and don’t focus on any particular target. What usually happens is that at the end of the night, either a chick is really interested and becomes aggressive enough to pick me up or I go home alone. This has been a problem when guys that I’m “teaching” want to meet and hook up before hitting the clubs. Then I fall into what I call “teaching mode”. This is where I’m just observing, teaching and helping other guys pick up and get laid. All the while I don’t PU for myself, I do it strictly to help other guys out. This is a bad habit that I picked up. Of course the guys I help out think it’s great! :) But for me it usually turns out to be a waste of an evening. What’s really fucked up is that I don’t even recognize that I get into this mode, so I never get out of it. Now the time when falling into a particular rhythm fucking ROCKS is when I’m focused on going out to PU and not bullshit around. I can #close several different chicks and still pull a chick the same night back to my place or hers. I’ve done it before lots of times so I know it’s possible. The trick was to figure out how to get this to happen EVERY single time I go out. The answer for me is to decide what my goal is for the night, go out by myself and then just fucking do it. I can still meet guys when I’m out, but when PUing, I’m PUing. Haha, I remember a time when one of my “padiwans” asked me if some of his friends could join us, cuz they also wanted to improve their PU skills. I didn’t mind as long as they stayed out of my way. This was when I fell into “PU GOD mode”. :) I was the first one to arrive in the pub. By the time they showed up, I was already into a 5-set. The chicks all shifted positions so the hottest one moved and sat right next to me. We exchanged numbers and she didn’t want me to leave, all before we even hit the club! Not a bad start! :) I eject from the 5-set to meet the guys. I tell them right away that I’m not teaching tonight and to just stay the fuck out of my way. I was firing on all cylinders that night! I #closed every target I approached, had chicks buying me tequila shots, setting up a day2 with one chick and then making out with her girlfriend, etc! :) I’m sure these new guys thought that I was a real asshole! :) But unfortunately this is what I have to do in order to achieve my goals. The medium here is PU consistency, but in order for me to be more consistent at PU, I had to think beyond PU, routines, openers, etc. I had to look at the way I was behaving in certain situations and why. Then look at how that was affecting my game. Then make the changes in my behavior and BAAAMMM!!! Better PU consistency! :) 2. How I connect with chicks: Ever since I found mASF and started to seriously get into the game, I’ve had a tough time feeling any sort of connection with any chick, no matter how HOT she was. I would go out to PU and pull chicks weekend after weekend and feel absolutely NOTHING for them. Last year was a record breaking year for me. I fucked more chicks in that one year then all the other years put together. For those of you who are statistic freaks, it was 40+ chicks. I don’t remember the exact number cuz I never really kept count. Fuck, I don’t even remember half of their names! But the whole time I felt NOTHING for these chicks, a lot of them wanted relationships and would try to snag me into an LTR, but I would just get bored or they’d turn out to be LSE/psychos and I’d leave them. After doing the find ‘em, fuck ‘em and forget ‘em thing I was worn out. Let me tell you boys, that shit does wear you down. I wanted to find a nice LTR/mLTR and just enjoy my life a little more. But seriously I just couldn’t connect with chicks. They would be attracted to me and connect with me, but I felt nothing for them. I was starting to accept that maybe this is the way things will always be from now on. But then it finally happened! I always used to meet chicks in the fuck venue. We’d get together and have sex, that’s it. So I decided to change things a bit. Then I met this one chick and started doing things with her. We had a great time together and connected on so many levels. It was awesome! For the first time since my LTR of 10 yrs ended, I felt something for a chick. Don’t worry boys, Razorjack hasn’t developed one-itis! :) The important thing was to figure out HOW I connected with her. For me it was all about getting away from the club scene, and seeing these chicks in a different light, in a different setting, in a different environment and getting to know them for who they are and ACCEPTING that, while doing fun things together. I was so happy that I FINALLY was able to do this and it felt great! And the best part? The best part is knowing that I can recreate this with any chick (as long as they are not LSE psychos!) because it is NOT the chick that makes me feel this way, but ME MAKING MYSELF FEEL THIS WAY! HA! What an epiphany! It’s like waking up from a coma! :) The medium here is connecting with chicks. Thinking beyond connecting with chicks and more about myself and my behavior, was exactly what I needed to do in order to achieve what I wanted. So after reading this rant of mine, what did ya boys learn? Well I’ll tell ya then! The lesson here is: 1. First figure out what your goals are, what you want to achieve, where you want to go, etc. 2. Get to know yourself, how you behave, how you do things, how you motivate yourself, how you learn, etc. 3. Once you understand where you want to go and understand how and why you do the things you do, then change that behavior so you can get what you want! Solving the problems that I described above wasn’t about new routines, openers, qualifiers, affirmations, etc. It wasn’t even about PU! It’s beyond the medium, beyond PU! It was about me learning how I behave and why that was preventing me from getting what I wanted. Then I change that behavior and guess what? My PU problems are solved without even thinking about PU! So if you guys are having problems with PU, THINK BEYOND THE MEDIUM! -Razorjack

Complete Guide to Direct Game

2006-01-17T16:28:00.001-08:00

Currently, direct game is synonymous with "I like you" and "BE ALPHA" -- So let's rock and roll! ;) mASF is full of simultaneously successful independent models which can be used effectively if congruent. We all use many models, and their strength is predominantly determined by their congruence to themselves. People have a tendency to gravitate to models that come naturally to them, or make immediate sense. This is great, and if I'm working with a newbie, I will usually encourage him to start with a model that he feels comfortable with. BUT, because I'm a SUCKER and OBSESSED with PU, I like to try new things all the time, and experiment with all kinds of styles. Furthermore, experimenting with something different than you're used to will push your abilities, expand your model of the world and force you to grow in new ways. For example, when I first met Dimitri, I was shocked. The first thing I said to myself was: "There is no way this is Dimitri." Then I thought "There's NO WAY this guy actually gets laid." (No offense my man, just first impressions! ;)) My own success had come from a natural style heavily influenced by the predominant crews here on mASF, what I saw that day blew my mind. His style was unique and fresh. Completely spontaneous and completely his own, I could not correlate a single bit of his game with mainstream ASF game. He violated all the rules and had utter disregard for current models and trends. We would open a 3-set, and while I was demonstrating the power and consistency of opinion openers, Dimitri would come in and physically PICK UP ONE OF THE GIRLS AND SWING HER AROUND! And they LOVED IT! People walking by in the mall were shocked, but he DIDN'T care - no one mattered BUT HIM. That's what being alpha really is - doing exactly what you want with no hesitation and complete certainty it will work. So we spent most of the summer sarging for entire weekends. Starting friday evening, going straight until sunday evening - looking back it was probably not a very healthy thing to do, but I learned a lot from him, and hopefully he learned from me as well. Most of the time was spent in the malls and on the streets of Boston - it was pure, unadulterated daygame. As a result, I had to invent new models to even comprehend what Dimitri was doing. (My Balance attraction with value post is a good example, and actually is a recommended prerequisite to this post.) Over time, I have devised models for all kinds of things - models for natural styles, "indirect" styles, pimp game (of which my demonstration vs. verbalization post is a part of, along with making yourself physically scarce, being more interested in getting non-sexual things from her (See Dimitri's supply and demand post for more on this), etc..), an assortment of different types of approaching styles, etc... but all that stuff is content for another post! ;) So here, without further ado, is a crash course for the style of pickup I prefer most: DIRECT GAME I. Who can use direct game? Why use direct game? Direct game is a game based on value and self respect. It is based on honesty and disregard for societal constructs. It is completely absent of any takeaways intended to manipulate interest, direct invalidation, and disrespect. I would suggest that direct game can be used by anyone ESPECIALLY newbie's because of it's simplicity, efficiency and congruence with the newbie's intentions. People also like direct game because it allows them to persist confidently without pretending to be hard-to-get. It is very effective on girls who have high moral standards and have not yet fallen into the party chick trap. Usually the girls are passionate about something in their life, and had maybe one or two long term relationships. It tends to be less effective on girls who have been emotionally damaged by countless other players who have desensitized them to value based attraction by repeated cycles of attention and indifference. They have already been exposed to intense and crippling physical attraction, and despite the fact that they know it's bad for them, they cannot resist. There are also a lot of girls who have experienced this, but have decided that they do not want it anymore, and this method will work especially well with them. On a side note, direct game is a GREAT FRAME for creating relationships. It can also set a good foundation for transitioning to indirect game or pimp-style game post conversion. Conversely if you start with indirect or pimp-style game it is near impossible to transition back to direct. II. Indirect Vs. Direct Game The main differences between indirect and direct game are TECHNICAL ones. That is why direct is just as effective, but in many ways MORE efficient than indirect game. One difference is the frame of the opener. Early theories supporting the effectiveness of opinion openers stated that you are almost "using" the girl for her opinion, meanwhile demonstrating value to her in some way. Direct openers ASSUME already that you are of higher value, and your bodylanguage, style, tonality and facial expressions must be congruent with that. You are also demonstrating your direct INTEREST in the girl. It is not purely sexual or purely platonic, it is both simultaneously. If you fail to show SIMULTANEOUS sexual and platonic interest, then she will perceive you as too horny or too gay. IMO there are two ways to deliver opinion openers. One is to FAKE DISINTEREST - appear more concerned with getting her actual opinion than connecting with her. The other way is using the opinion opener AS A FORMALITY, merely providing a context in which two people can connect. So considering the latter is the current theoretically correct indirect technique, we see that in opening, the only difference is a technical one. The more pronounced difference in direct vs. indirect game is the fact that YOU ARE PERSISTING MEANWHILE QUALIFYING FROM A POSITION OF POWER. You are taking the initiative to make things happen and push the seduction forward. If you expect her to respond positively to your lack of indifference, you must NOT RESPOND positively to her indifference! If you are playing direct game, and she attempts to manipulate your interest, play games or otherwise disrespect you, you CANNOT RESPOND POSITVELY TO THAT! That is supplication, and supplication is no part of good direct OR indirect game. In general also, I must add that direct and indirect styles aren't mutually exclusive and there is a lot of overlap. Good game is good game! Direct: -Techniques which are congruent with interest. -Persisting with absolute certainty. -Qualifying from a position of power. Indirect: -Techniques congruent with disinterest. -Letting her chase you. -Takeaways and general manipulation of attraction. III. Beliefs / Mindsets / Frames As stated previously, self confidence and self respect are of utmost importance to direct game. Without these you will make the mistake of qualifying her from a position of weakness. You will tolerate her games, and persist despite her disrespecting you. Having weak beliefs is what causes people to make the mistakes of kissing ass, being overly complimentary and tolerating her shit, when they think they are "going direct". This is not at all what it's about. There is a balance. The best mindset for using direct game is one of being alpha. This has been stated numerous times as the KEY to direct game. While I recognize it as an important element, it is not a complete methodology. Being alpha basically means taking what you want WITHOUT HESITATION. Think about when you are at home and you want food from the fridge. Do you hesitate even for a second if you're really hungry?? NO. You just walk over and take it. When a mall full of women becomes your refrigerator out of which to feast, you my friend, have got it. I use a slightly different frame with girls whom I am deciding to use a direct model with. While the annoying little sister frame is great for indirect game, the "Sweet little daughter whom I care about and protect" frame is EXCELLENT for direct. You are powerful but gentle, compassionate and caring. IV. Body Language / Tonality / Facial Expressions As with any good game discussed here on mASF, slow, relaxed body language is important. The only difference is in the opener, you would face towards the girl as you deliver it. This is congruent with your interest in her. Tonality should be deep and resonant. Facial expressions varied and interesting, but relaxed. V. Openers There are 3 different types of openers I use: 1. Hi, how are you? 2. You are beautiful. I would like to get to know you / May I join you? (Shark) 3. That shirt... (Wait for response) It absolutely looks great with your style! (Credit for this type of opener goes to Razorjack) Your non verbal communication should be congruent with your interest. Of course your overall intention is clear in all three of these. Remember SIMULTANEOUS SEXUAL AND PLATONIC INTEREST. Deliver the opener and continue to vibing. VI. Vibing and Connection A. Traditional Rapport Vibing Vibing is about the energy of the moment. The feel of the interaction rather than the content. Vibing with a girl makes her feel like you have a natural connection. It is talking about ANYTHING or telling stories or jokes, even talking about work. YES you can talk about your work if you can VIBE. It is charging your interactions with emotion and tension. B. Storytelling / Demonstrations of value. Typical storytelling and DHV models apply here quite nicely. I usually point people to Wilder's storytelling post as a guide. C. Screening Vibing should have a screening feel to it. By demonstrating that you are selective, have other options, but are CHOOSING HER, you create immense value for yourself and qualify her at the same time. See Neo-Rio's recent screening post for more of this. D. C+F (??) There is a debate whether or not you can use C+F and other slightly invalidating techniques in a direct framework. I DO use C+F with my direct method. There's two things to remember. Firstly, the success of C+F is more girl-dependent than style-dependent. (Then again girls are also-style dependent, but less so.) If a girl responds well to C+F, I'll use it. Secondly, the way to use C+F is in a gentle, playful frame. Your frame cannot be - "I'm doing this to increase attraction." more - "I'm giving her the gift of laughter because I care about her." Your words may be slightly invalidating, but FUNNY and you say it with a WARM tonality and set of facial expressions. VII. Qualification Qualification is a HUGE part of direct game. It's great to qualify on non-physical things like her sense of style, her humor, or the fact that she is real and genuine. The key to qualification is TO BE CONGRUENT WITH THE DELIVERY. When you tell her you feel more comfortable with her than any other girls you have met recently, your tonality, bodylanguage and actions BETTER BACK IT UP. Furthermore, having an incredible vibe with a girl is actually more effective than anything you can SAY to her. You are telling her you like her, and she believes you because she feels the same way! VIII. Timing / Persistence / Space I try to describe the timing for contacts and meets as "cool persistence". You are up front about your sexual and platonic interest, but you're not too attached to the outcome. It is being persistent on your timetable, and not giving too much importance to one particular chick. In general, see her once or twice a week and call two or three times a week. Once you have reached conversion, she will make the efforts to contact and see you, and it won't matter what you do anymore. But before conversion, if she is disrespectfully non-responsive to your messages and calls, give her a break for a few weeks and try again. Do not fear that persistence will come across as needy. It is not the techniques of direct game which lowers your value. The thing that lowers your value is telegraphing neediness. Any subcommunication of lower grade emotions such as fear, anger, resentment, or hostility through your tonality or actions will do this. As long as you take measures to cleanse yourself of these negative emotions, your communication will come across as powerful and confident. Being physically persistent when in a girls presence CAN come off as needy if you are all over her and not playful enough. Also showing the abovementioned negative emotions while being physically persistent will hurt you in that respect. Best to physically advance with absolute certainty she will enjoy it. And if she doesn't - don't let it affect your state. Chill out, enjoy yourself and try again later. Space is the way that doubt is introduced into a girls mind. It is not through invalidating techniques. Space amplifies the good feelings you gave to her when you were together. It is also a way of producing implicit social proof. Have a great time with her, and then be busy with your own life. Take your mind off of her. Let her feelings for you build. IX. Conversion Conversion is what happens when you have had sex with her enough times (I'd say anywhere between 1-5 times) such that the physical pleasure she associates with you overtakes the society programmed fears and doubts that come along with being intimate. If you have used direct game, after conversion she will no longer flake or resist you, in general. This is because if you have used direct game, your success is dependent largely on your value. (Again, this is a reference to my attraction and value post) The beauty is, you can start with the foundation created with direct game, and go in any direction you want. If you want to fuck other women, you can transition into the indirect game and make her compete to regain the initial attention you gave her. If you want to extract money and gifts from her, transition to a reverse supplication type of game. If you want to cultivate a healthy and fulfilling relationship, keep the direct game going and add tension as necessary. This type of versatility is just not present in other styles of game. X. Conclusion That my friends, is a basic, congruent model of direct game. Any questions, ask away! Woodhaven

Mutual Value Escalation

2006-01-17T16:28:00.000-08:00

f you want to put a car in a garage, there's two ways to do it: 1) Tear the garage down and rebuild it over the car. 2) Drive the car into the garage. A lot of the current model of ASF has its place, but it's used at the wrong times: Making it take much longer for a guy to find what he wants. Playing with a flawed model is better than playing with nothing at all, but let's step it up a bit, shall we? A huge part of the current dogma is to have a higher value than hers. No arguments there. But, let's say you assess yourself at a value of "7" and so do other people. And she's an "8.5" on the objective rating scale. Houston, we have a problem. Or, rather, a potential problem. Now, there's a few ways to deal with a situation like this: I) Long term: Become legitimately higher value. Okay, great. Should be one of your goals. Always improve your life. We've talked about this before. But it's not going to do anything TONIGHT, is it? II) Lowering her value to increase yours: Negs, dismissals. Better than nothing. Really, I mean that. Okay, these two above are the main ASF ideas for dealing with it. #1 is inner game, which some highly advocate and I agree with. It also includes things like the gym and nutrition, which guys like ijjji advocate and for good reason. #2 is what a lot of people see as the correct "outer game" play. Regardless, solutions 1 and 2 both rely on another factor: Always increasing your value. I've never seen anyone dissent from intelligently and discretionately using Cialdini's concept of social proof. Likewise, being sociable and cool is always good. So, what's the problem? #2 is like trying to drive in a nail with a screwdriver. It works, but it takes longer and is more likely to break down somewhere along the line. THE REAL DEAL: Solution III: Increase BOTH of your value simultaneously. Okay, back to our first illustration. Guy is a "7", girl is an "8.5". The guy could use negs, social proof, takeaways, and such to decrease her value situationally to "7.5" and increase his value to an "8". Then, some logistics, some more gaming, some of this and that and ideally he beds her. But he's bedding a woman whose SOCIAL STATUS HAS BEEN DAMAGED!!!!!!! He's bedding a 7.5. Now, if he's a really cool guy otherwise, but might not appear so on a first glance, maybe she'll keep perceiving him at a high level when she snaps out of the need for validation trance. But if it's all just been a front, guess what? She's going to start seeing herself as better than you soon enough, and it's time for all hell to break loose. This is a large cause of why some night game that's successful at "putting numbers on the scoreboard" is terrible at making loyal, solid, dependable girls. And many of these same guys rant about how worthless women are! When they're damaging the goods before they take it! Go figure! SOMETHING MUCH BETTER: Instead, realize that you have the power to make any girl better than what she is, simply by virtue of being with you, being connected to you, being in your presence or even able to communicate some with you. She can feel more sexy, more intelligent, solve problems more easily, be more dedicated, be more rational, and so on. Does that sound like a grand claim? It's not. A good leader can bring out all those things in a person, and more. So, instead of you cutting that cute lil' 8.5 down to a 7.5, you make her into a 9.5! Hold the phone, Dimitri! You can't be serious! I'm just a "7", I can't handle the 8.5, let alone a 9.5! Well, first, my friend, start seeing yourself in a better light. But that said, check out the flaw in your objection: You make her into a 9.5. Who is that dependant on? YOU! She feels stronger, smarter, more confident, more socially savvy, more beautiful, and more powerful around you. Without you, she can't have that. What does that do for your value? 10/10, gentlemen. When you deliver a compliment well (that's where the game comes in), you increase your value and hers... and yours MORE. There's an art to this, of course. It's possible to give a compliment that's supplicative. That raises her value a tiny bit, and lowers yours a lot. Same with perceived supplication. But imagine, if you will, that a Tom Cruise-esque guy walks up to a girl, looks deeply into her eyes, and tells her that she carries herself so gracefully that he had to come speak with her. Guess what? She's positively glowing, and his value has only gotten higher. And if you're picking up everyone around you, you're getting social proofed too. Higher social status. More people want to be around you. It's cyclical. DIMITRI, GIVE ME THE TECH ALREADY! Sure. When saying or doing anything in the game, be PROCESS ORIENTED, NOT RESULTS ORIENTED. That means, do what you feel, and shrug at what happens. When the night is over, it's good to analytically look at what happened, and adjust. Maybe even take a couple minutes while you're in the men's room to think over how things have been going. But instead of taking a technical aspect, it's important to bring what you feel, and what you want. That means go with what you want to go with, not what you've been told to go with. If any given compliment/remark/story/whatever gets negative results, you shrug at the moment, because you did the process as best as you could. You improve the process later, as you can, but in the moment, you live it and love it. And that shrug if someone disapproves is usually enough to make it glaze over and no matter, anyway. Deliver everything from a position of power and authority. When you state something that you think, your position isn't going to change based on what they think or say. So you give a girl a compliment on her rhetro-yellow skirt. She says she hates it but has nothing else to wear. You shrug, or maybe say, "Meh, I still like it" and keep going. You don't take back what you've said, because it's true. Likewise, if she starts glowing, you don't go on and on about it: You've said what you have to say, now keep moving. The authority part means you're not tentative. If you give her a compliment, you might leave a normal social pause in there to see if she thanks you or says something in particular, but after that half-second or so, you just do/say what you want to. You don't stand and wait for her to decide what she wants to do with you. Judging: Everyone judges all the time, whether they admit it or not. Even a person who prides themself on being non-judgmental still makes spot assessments of everything they see. Well, I say take it to the forefront. Be conscious of the fact that you're always judging, and do so. It's what the concept of screening is all about: And I don't mean pretending to screen. See if she's what you actually want. Practice is great and all, but at some point, you gotta start getting what you want and deserve. So far, we've covered the basic mindsets and attitudes of Mutual Value Escalation. You come from a position of power and authority, objectively realize and consciously judge her actions to see if you like her and what she's doing, and then you stay process oriented: You don't let what others think/do affect you if you're giving it your best. DISRESPECT: There's a lot of rude people in the world. If I had to guess, I'd say there's probably an equal number of rude men and rude women, but in a lot of western countries, you see blatant disrespect by women to a lot of men. So, you're out in the club, you see a girl wearing a ruby-colored, shimmering red dress. Long, soft blond hair and a pearl necklace framing her perfect neck. You go to talk to her, and she's rude! What has she done? Well, if she wants you (and she will soon if not already, my friends, rest assured) she's played shitty game. But you can't blame her, Cosmo and The Rules are really the blind leading the blind. She doesn't know any better. Someone would do well to point her to my MVETheory, but in the meantime, you'd better deal with this. Take no disrespect! When a girl disrespects you, it's her trying to raise her value a bit by slamming yours. Instead, you assume your value is still where it's at, and that hers is SEVERELY decreased by her disrespect. Then treat her appropriately. Like, if you can, imagine the 9 that just said some rude shit to transform into a 4, and it's a rabidly ugly drunk girl that's talking shit. In this case, you'd probably what? Turn your back to her? Tell her that she's rude? Laugh and make fun of her? Roll your eyes and look at her like a little child? Ignore her entirely? If a woman is willing, I'll take her and me to new heights together. We'll thrive together in a partnership, and if she measures up, a relationship. Sometimes we'll make love, sometimes we'll have sex, sometimes we'll get down and dirty and fuck real nasty. We'll have great conversations, do fun things, and both learn more about ourselves. We'll see sunsets and sunrises and I'll show her things she's never seen before, and I'll learn everything I can from her. But not if she wants to be a snotty little bitch. There's, quite literally, a line of girls that are begging for my attention, my affection, my love. So if one girl can't realize what I'm worth, she'd better get in line ASAP. So take it as a severe knock on her value. Many people, when faced with someone being hard to get or disrespectful, want to prove to that person that they like them. Wrong response. So, after she's disrespectful to you, you either "neg" her, as appropriate, or maybe dismiss her entirely in favor of better girls. If she was not being entirely attentive, then it might be time to tease her a little. If she was downright fucking rude, then it might be time to tell her straightup, "Hey, I was just being social, having a conversation, and that was rude. But... have a nice evening." WAIT, DIMITRI, WHY NOT JUST NEG RIGHT OFF THE BAT? Because, quite frankly, I don't need to. Have you ever seen an old, black and white movie, with a man playing a manly actor telling a woman that she's so beautiful and they'd be perfect for each other. Lots of times, the girl melts for him on the spot. Sometimes, she doesn't. But if she fires something at him sarcastically, he always shoots right back with something clever about how she's blowing her chances. AND, it would presuppose that I need to neg, which I don't. This all goes back to having/being a high value person. I come in assuming I'm already supremely high value, but that's another topic for another time. **IN CLOSING** Don't try to cut women down so you're better than them. Instead, lead them and make people around you better people. You can do this by encouraging them, complimenting them when they do well, and disciplining them when they fail. You assume a high value, and you create even more by this attitude. Really, everyone you meet will be picked up a bit, and become a better person if they work with you. If they work against you, they go from having you in their corner to you judging them harshly: And they see that you're solid in heart and mind, so they just made a huge mistake. The vast, vast majority of the time, this is enough to correct the behavior and not have it around you. It doesn't mean that you'll get any one, individual woman, but it does mean that you'll constantly have attractive women that are loyal to you and good people around you. It'll also make you have more friends and more loyal friends, as well as more contacts, acquaintances, and so on. Without being too sappy, trying to leave everyone you find a little better off makes you a LOT better off, and people will follow your lead. If someone is disrespectful, you don't tolerate it: You see if they'll fix their behavior, and it's sayanora if they can't. Feel free to add more thoughts and technique, my friends. This avenue of game has been around forever, and it's the most successful model of leadership and playing the game. Just because it hasn't been talked about in this way before en masse shouldn't stop you from logically thinking it out and realizing that you know lots of people who do this and are successful with it. Chip in some thoughts, and let the discussion grow. Always yours, Dimitri Dimitri

The Transition to Natural Game, Part II

2006-01-17T16:26:00.000-08:00

Current trends in seduction favor a more genuine and natural framework driven by confidence and a strong assumption of attraction. It seems the highly canned routine-based game initially designed for ego preservation is giving way to a more integrated and free-flowing approach. This warrants an in-depth codification of the process of transitioning to a natural game that is both highly effective in-field and consistently teachable. My recent work has been not only to identify those concepts which drive Natural Game, designing applicable mindsets and techniques, but to also develop a systematic method for students, no matter what their background, to make the transition to Natural Game. Despite my use of the term 'Natural Game' it is a mistake to assume that it's sufficient to 'just be cool', 'act normal' or 'be yourself'. Given the highly ambitious scope of becoming a full-blown Pick up Artist, a systematic approach is, in most cases, NECCESSARY to ensure optimum development of the correct behaviors and beliefs. This article aims to deal with three high level and large-frame concepts which serve as a foundation for a highly practical and field-tested method which preserves the inherent attractiveness and integrity of the student. All great pickup artists have internalized these concepts to the point of automaticity, whether they know it or not. Misattributing the source of their power, a number of good pick-up artists spend too much valuable time emphasizing axillary skills such as storytelling, humor and random gimmickry. While these skills may serve as useful tools for specific situations, they are of limited application and not entirely relevant to the matter at hand. I believe it is highly beneficial to cut straight to the true essence of success, leaving yourself the option of developing into a great storyteller or comedian later on, if that is your inclination. In that case, development of Natural Game concepts will constitute a robust foundation invaluable for whatever style suits your personal taste. Our primary role as pickup artists is the successful connection with and seduction of women. That will be the focus of this article. The three base concepts for discussion are: 1. Spontaneity Over Structure 2. Mutual Value Escalation 3. Congruence to Intention If you haven't read The Transition to Natural Game part I, authored by myself, you may want to do that first. I might also add that the newly revised Razorjack Method is 100% compatible with this text. Spontaneity over Structure Spontaneity is the characteristic of creating an experience with optimum emotional capacity to the exact situation at hand. (Or very appropriately termed your 'Pimp Brain' by PlayerSupreme) It is that time when you were totally *ON* - joking with the girl, laughing with her, sharing, you had so much you could talk about, so much you wanted to share. You told her stories, and made jokes about things in the environment, teased her, related to her... If you've never experienced this, well... keep reading! Spontaneity is not what you have never said or done before, but a new combination of the thousands of things you have already experienced. We all have a realm of experiences from which to draw via an associative process. Rather than rehearsing memorized content, you are re-experiencing images from memory and recounting the experiences into the here and now with a fresh touch to it. Your amplification or elimination of certain details allows you to custom tailor your presentation and ultimately the entire shared experience to her personality type. Spontaneity is a state where all of the relevant neural pathways are active such that you have instant access to associated memories. You are extroverted and aware of your environment. You are completely unattached to outcomes, and completely IN the moment. Not focused on the process, you ARE the process. Your experience is that very moment, not stuck in the two minutes ago, but in the PRESENT. It is that freshness. That presence. Are you THERE in the moment with the girl? Are you seeing her for who she really is? Are you more present in the moment than her husband? Then she is yours. You are crafting an emotional experience based on the instantaneous moment in which you and the girl reside. Spontaneity can be developed to such a degree that your improvised conversation is more fresh, genuine and attractive than anything you could have prepared prior. This is because it is born out of the moment, and is highly relevant. The freshness and energy which spawns from spontaneity is a powerful and complete value demonstration in itself. Can you discard your routines and structure at the drop of a hat, when an opportunity to live in the moment presents itself? Or do you sacrifice the opportunity because of attachment to a predetermined script? Spontaneity is of utmost importance. More than anything, women will feel great rapport with you based on your degree of spontaneity. Women spend all of their lives searching for that guy who can VIBE. The guy who's energy matches her's - when they are together the interaction just HITS! Women always ask themselves things like "How do I feel around him?", "How natural does it feel?". When you create a spontaneous interaction with a girl, she will be absolutely convinced that you are her soulmate. If you can connect in that manner, she will forget all other objections about you, and be completely in love. This is paramount in making those super-fast lays happen. Anything that feels forced, rehearsed or planned KILLS the interaction. Even guys that have great routines or are great storytellers possess spontaneity. There still needs to be a good interaction flow between the stories... AND for when the stories run out! Resist getting stuck trying to correct mistakes made beforehand, stay in the moment - the river keeps on flowing! Persistence and spontaneous creation of context in part comes from having strong beliefs, but you can train yourself to develop those beliefs by maintaining a continuous flow of action. I recently heard a really good quote from Harmless. He said "The guys that are great - they can take nothing... and turn it into something." What is he talking about? Spontaneous creation of experience based on circumstance. Nothing else. Taking what little is available and creating CONTEXT for interaction. Another benefit to spontaneity is the byproduct development of situational relevance. Strongly correlated to social intelligence, situational relevance is an intuition that determines when certain routines are appropriate in a given context. Some guys run routines that are completely irrelevant to the situation at hand. They never took the time to develop their spontaneity and now have zero sense of whether their routines are appropriate or not. Even the coolest, most bad-ass routine will fall flat if delivered in an inappropriate situation, or prematurely. Training your mind for spontaneity is the process of conditioning your mind to develop instantaneous association recall. Development of any skill is proceeded by a strong stimulus to the neurology which facilitates that said skill. It is analogous to weightlifting - you lift weights which provides your muscles a powerful stimulus, and they respond by becoming stronger and more developed. From a strictly mental viewpoint, it is very much like learning a language. A friend of mine took four years of Spanish in high school and a few years later could speak nothing of the language. She then took a two week vacation with her boyfriend in Puerto Rico, and came back speaking near fluent Spanish. Putting yourself in a situation over and over with little preparation gives the strongest stimulus to that part of your brain which you aim to develop. Overpreparation in the form of learning too many pickup lines or routines will circumvent that process. It's like using crutches for your whole life with the expectation of developing strong legs. It just won't happen. For this reason, I am a huge proponent of minimizing the number of routines you take with you into the field. Developing spontaneity in a nutshell: 1. Go into the field unprepared 2. Approach a woman with a specific intention (We'll learn this in section 3) 3. Persist as long as possible congruent to your chosen intention 4. 4. Repeat the process for a balanced variety of situations Little preparation, strong sexual intent, lots of persistence... Sounds like Gunwitch Method to me! This may explain the great success of everyone who applies GWM. It is an excellent foundation and perfect for building that very important trait we call SPONTANEITY. We are training WARRIORS of pickup. We produce guys who can trust their instincts in any situation and WIN. Their subconscious is trained to make superb decisions in microseconds. They recall highly relevant stories to tell their women, they crack just the right joke at the right time, and they know exactly which emotions need to be projected to capture her SOUL. Mutual Value Escalation Mutual value escalation has been the driving force behind most of the successful techniques and methods developed in history and recent years. It is also the concept which drives most symbiotic relationships between living things. A mutual value escalation is is an interaction which results in an financial / emotional / intellectual exchange in which both parties benefit. A coach makes his players sharper, faster, and able to think more quickly on their feet and in turn they go on to win games and championships for him. Their combined value as a team is much greater than the sum of their value as individuals. Certain people are more inclined to escalating value than others. As pick up artists, it is of utmost importance. It can be said that there are three types of people in this world: Givers, takers and leaders. 'Givers' give everything away up front, with a hidden expectation of return. If they do not get that return, they harbor expressed or unexpressed anger and hostility. The classic example of this is the 'nice guy' who supplicates over and over expecting to get sex in return, and then when he gets dumped, blames the girl and calls her a bitch. MVE is NOT supplication. It is the preservation and enhancement of overall or long term collective emotions of a group of people. When a 'giver' gives something (with expectation of return) then you will then be holding the 'expectation' emotion, and the girl will now be carrying a 'obligated / accountable' emotion. Neediness also causes these types of emotions. That is mutual value degradation. 'Takers', realizing that 'givers' get nowhere in our society, take as much as they can from people because of their own insecurity about their abilities to attain what they desire. They also will harbor anger and hostility if they do not get what they attempt to take. A good example is a guy (who some may consider 'alpha') who tries to extract sex or financial resources from a woman but adds absolutely no value to her life. These guys will be successful to a certain extent with low self esteem women, but eventually smart women will grow tired of this and conjure up enough strength to break free from such an unhealthy and destructive relationship. The relationship ends with both parties worse off than when they started, both with a distorted perception of the opposite sex. Both 'givers' and 'takers' come from a similar place. They are both attached to an outcome and attempt to use negative emotions in order to reach that outcome. The hostility and anger originates from the fear of an imagined consequence resulting from failure to 'take' or 'receive'. What most people fail to notice, however is that there is another option: The Leader. A leader will increase the value of himself all the while increasing the value of the people he interacts with. He makes intelligent decisions, takes responsibility for his actions and creates positive emotions in his group. Since the majority of people in this world fall into the 'giver'/'taker' category, it is the leaders who, through their strength and direction, can rise above and make things go right. It is commonly thought that there can only be one leader in any interaction. That is not true. It may be true that only one person can leading at any one particular time, but two leaders can interact in a very effective and mutually beneficial manner. I really think people have a huge misconception about indirect methods. They seem to believe we are somehow 'hurting' the girl or making her feel bad about herself in some way. When done correctly, this cannot be further from the truth. Great C+F is giving her the gift of humor. Well constructed negs demonstrate awareness and social subtlety, valuable to any woman striving to be more beautiful. Well timed takeaways teach women to respect us, and in the end they appreciate the lesson. If your methods do not add value to the interaction, then you are coming from the wrong place. Escalate mutual value, always. Most healthy men and women have a tendency toward survival and the attainment of positive emotions. People naturally want to be around others who can add value to their lives and make them feel good. It is completely natural and built into us by evolution. Natural leaders take care of themselves, they involve themselves in actions to improve their lives, and the lives of the people around them. It just plain feels GREAT to be around people who possess this quality. They are charismatic, comfortable and inspire everyone involved to more positive and pleasurable emotions. Mutual Value Escalation is THE way into the secret society. By your actions, you demonstrate that a woman's involvement in your life would only be a benefit to her, no matter what your intention is. You leave absolutely no room for implications of negative repercussions. Since leaders have no attachment and make no implied demands, women will very quickly realize the potential of a no-strings-attached sexual relationship as well as a fulfilling and rewarding long term relationship. We are not the guys who impose on their freedom by dropping hints of emotional dependence. We do not supplicate to a woman and shower her with insincere compliments. We are also not the guys who, in a selfish pursuit of our own hedonism, sabotage her emotions with lies, deceit and invalidation. We do not drain the life energy from social interactions by demoralizing the team players on which we depend to enhance our lives. We strive to improve our women's lives by helping them to become stronger, more independent, guiding her to self-discovery and excellence. And for that, they will reward us with everything they've got! Enhance her experience whether it is day game or night game, 'indirect' or 'direct' game. A lot of stock routines are created with value built in, so in a sense most of us are creating value escalation artificially. Be aware of the large frame of what we are doing and pay attention to the emotional implications of your technique. We are enhancing the shared experience of which we take part. MVE can be cultivated internally without routines, if you are aware of it while developing spontaneity. If you prefer to use straight spontaneity, only calling on stories when you are reminded of them, your intention will guide your language. Combine genuine expression with leadership frames so that you both benefit. Learn to reframe everything into the more positive, optimistic, humorous - But this doesn't mean kiss her ass by any stretch. Be realistic and judge her shortcomings fairly. Be aware of her shortcomings, (don't lie and tell her the opposite is true) but make her feel better about them. This is the base structure of good c+f or a great neg. The real power behind most great techniques is AWARENESS. Do you have the awareness to notice the subtle flaws and insecurities in a gorgeous woman, or are you perceiving her as perfect in every way, and merely picking out some random feature to criticize? In this game, cleverness is no substitute for true awareness. EXAMPLE: * Be aware and notice her shortcoming: She's a bit short for your tastes * Be honest with yourself about it, don't lie to her: Don't tell her she's the perfect height if you don't believe it * Reframe it to positive in an attempt to make her feel better about it: Low degree of subtlety (C+F style): Tell her it must be nice to be able to get the child's admission price into theme parks. High degree of subtlety (Neg style): Tell her you think she might look really great in high heels. The success of an approach is especially dependent on MVE. It is important to start with a leader vibe from the very beginning and presented as an opportunity for the two of you make a great connection. Taker's approach: Either forced, too cocky, or too presumptuous. These guys may attempt to make women feel guilty for not talking to them. Giver's approach: Weak, and full of compliments. These guys will just tell her she's beautiful with hopes of her continuing the interaction. They expect that the simple act of giving a compliment will inspire her to chase them. Great approaches, no matter what the technique have a vibe that says "This is an opportunity for you to have a valuable interaction." The direct approach presents a unique challenge since it is very common for the inexperienced practitioner to vibe 'giver' when using a compliment-type opener. He must rely on projecting value through his vibe, as opposed to having it built into the opener as is more common with opinion opener / story type openers. One of most challenging approaches from a logistical standpoint is opening a woman who is walking away from you. It requires a high level of physical awareness and playfulness. Any 'taker' vibe must be IMMEDIATELY diffused by increasing your distance, or by using humor. If you can do this well, pat yourself on the back. It requires a very subtle balance of different vibes, and opening with correct bodylanguage and timing. Congruence To Intention An intention is your underlying purpose and role in a woman's life. An intention can take many forms. You can be anything from the guy who helps her with her math homework to the knight in shining armor who sweeps her off of her feet and changes her life forever. There are many different intentions, and it is the pick up artist's job to: 1. Familiarize yourself with the most common and effective intentions 2. Decide which intention is most relevant to a given situation 3. Congruently execute your chosen intention via a continuous flow of action The two most common intentions are 'direct' and 'indirect'. A direct intention is one in which you express genuine interest in a girl from a place of higher value. You would then continue to reassure her of this all along the way, and treat her as if she is very special and unique. An indirect intention is one in which your interaction with a girl is purely social: Your interest lies mainly in something besides her. Maybe you are talking to her just to get an opinion, or maybe you are bored - or maybe you love the sound of your own voice! Keep in mind the two are not mutually exclusive. When it comes down to it, everyone uses both of them, as it is completely natural to use both of them. In fact, a great pick up artist should be familiar with each and be able to use them both with equal competence. To limit oneself to a single intention, is much like an actor who limits himself to playing only one type of character throughout his entire career. The skill of a great actor is not choosing a single great role, but his ability to climb deep into any given role - the ability to become congruent to an intention. Here's an example: Entering a club, you may see a group of girls, not exactly your type, but still somewhat attractive. You may chat with them in a social way, while waiting for your friends. Later on in the night, you may catch a glimpse of a beautiful, stunning woman - and you express your interest to her. You have created attraction using two different intentions. 'Direct' guys use an 'indirect' intention all the time with girls they have no romantic interest in - and it may result in those girls chasing them. On the flipside, great 'indirect' practitioners shift to a direct intention the moment they qualify the girl - and they may spend the rest of the sarge using the direct intention! If you look at a 'natural' who does really well on a nighttime scene like a bar or club: How does he behave? Generally he will have a great time, enjoy the moment for what it is worth and spread his positive vibe to others around him. Women will gravitate toward these guys, and find them very attractive in this environment. Does this mean that 'party' guys are universally more attractive? Of course not. But people who go out to bars and clubs are going out to party for the evening, and the behavior of a party guy is highly congruent to that context. The natural is familiar with the environment and the types of interactions that go on during the course of the night. His behaviors are therefore congruent to both his intention and the shared intention of the groups he interacts with. If a natural gets up and walks away from a girl who isn't cooperating, it is because his intention is to have a good time, and not chase any one particular girl. When one speaks of a 'natural', we talk about those guys who were born with those traits desirable to women. What exactly is the base characteristic that makes them so attractive? Is it their high energy? Is it their relaxed bodylanguage? Is it their boldness and honesty? No. It is their congruence to intention. Unlike a pick-up artist who has consciously designed his game from the ground up, a true 'natural' has little ability to make conscious choice of his intention. But the intention that he DOES have - he is DAMN congruent to it. Development of Natural Game is the development of the fundamentals that empower you to choose your intention based on the situation at hand, and remain congruent to that chosen intention. Remaining congruent to an intention means to continually interact with a girl in a way that reinforces your original intent, or serves to further define it. Congruence is the antithesis of coming across fake or ingenuine. In this game, to be labeled fake or ingenuine is the kiss of death! As men, we are expected to be strong decision makers, unwavering and ready to take action. Women are drawn to men who already know their place not only in the world but more importantly in her life. Make all of your subsequent actions congruent to your original intention. Congruence has the ability to create massive amounts of attraction in a woman - much more than any given part of the interaction. Women are not as imperceptive as we once thought them to be! Subsequent interaction increases attraction and rapport simultaneously to the extent that it is congruent with all previous interaction, and serves to further define your intention. Through congruency, you will amplify your value exponentially with each consecutive action you take. Therefore, a complete method of seduction is only effective to the extent that it is congruent within itself. To a woman, the fact that congruence creates attraction is very obvious. A woman would simply call it "being a real man". Women don't want to waste their time with men who cannot make decisions, do not understand themselves or do not understand how to relate to her. Lack of congruence leads to confusion, and people deal with an excess of confusion by becoming indifferent to it, or by escaping from it. The former will put you into the friends zone, and the latter will cause you to be blown out or cause a woman to flake on you. It is not any particular intention which makes you attractive. It is your congruence to it. Again IT IS NOT any particular method which is superior to others. It is your belief, conviction and loyalty to THAT METHOD. If you master the art of maintaining congruence to intention, a whole new world of freedom and opportunity will open up to you, as you will now be able to make ANY method or technique work. A useful tool for familiarizing yourself with a particular intention is called Intention Mapping. It is also useful if you wish to create your own intention or 'method' of seduction. What most successful methods actually do is teach you to be very congruent to a single intention, through learning behaviors and techniques. Start by developing an idea of what kind of role you would like to play in a woman's life. Would you like to be lover who changes her life forever, a guy with whom she has casual sex with a few times a month, or perhaps the guy she encounters for a single night of lust and passion? Intention maps are most effective when they match what a girl is ready for in this particular time in her life. In other words, your intention should be included in her realm of what is possible. While all women are different in the way they view the world, themselves and what is possible romantically, as a general rule you may find: * She's single -> Primarily open to romance and genuine interest from a guy * She's with a boyfriend or husband for security, or just out of a relationship -> Primarily open to sexual variety, which may lead to romance later on * She's in an emotionally and sexually fulfilling relationship -> Toughest case, but generally open sexual variety or romance from a guy who exhibits MVE After you determine the role you would like to play in a woman's life, the next step is to fill in parts of the interaction with behaviors that are all congruent to the initial intention, and serve to further define it. There are basically two main intentions. Direct and Indirect. Here are some guidelines for these. Notes about the direct intention: When opening, many guys have a fear about expressing their interest in girl before knowing that she is attracted first. They believe that they shouldn't let a girl know they like her, unless she has first indicated her interest. Ironically, it is that very belief which causes the lack of attraction. The reasoning of "Don't show your intention because if you show your intention she can reject you." can hurt you in some instances. The very act of demonstrating your true intention is what generates the attraction which prevents her from rejecting you in the first place! When with a wingman, rolling off for a lonewolf, (unless you have a good explanation for why you rolled off of your friend) you MUST get a quick number. In most cases a faster number will be more solid because it's congruent to you hanging out with your friend! If you stay around and wait to 'build rapport', it will be incongruent with you being out with your friend, and it will also demonstrate negative things about your character. This is in contrast to you hunting alone (and not appearing to be in a hurry to a meeting, class etc...) getting a quick number is incongruent with the direct intention. If you are alone, and you meet a woman, push it as far as the limitations of logistics will allow before getting her number. The direct intention is mostly projected through bodylanguage, vibe and tonality. In other words, teasing her in a warm and reassuring way will NOT break your intention. It should be done in a way that is still congruent to your original intent of being genuinely interested in her. In fact, joking with her should serve to demonstrate your comfort together, NOT to invalidate her. The direct intention is mostly projected through bodylanguage, vibe and tonality. In other words, teasing her in a warm and reassuring way will NOT break your intention. It should be done in a way that is still congruent to your original intent of being genuinely interested in her. In fact, joking with her should serve to demonstrate your comfort together, NOT to invalidate her. If you chat with a girl in a very direct manner, and show her you will not just leave her to chat up some other chick - that you are with her and HER ALONE... If you show her that you are honest about your intentions to her, and that you genuinely think she's special, you will have created a huge advantage over other players in the club, with that particular girl. There is strength in confidence. Your confidence in her will translate into her confidence in YOU. Often times, a strong direct intention will bypass a lot of complications such as AMOGs, obstacles and apparent logistical limitations. I'm not talking about forwards and backwards merging (entering other sets as a couple) this stuff is fine since the frame puts the two of you 'together' talking to 'strangers'. This is congruent with a direct intention. In my opinion, a successful pick up artist MUST become familiar and adept at projecting the direct intention. It is THE thing which separates pick-up artists from other players in the club. Notes about the indirect intention: Indirect intention is good for bypassing certain societal roadblocks. It is especially useful when a group of girls is already convinced you have lower value then they do, when your target girl knows you already have a girlfriend or two, or when you wish to attract a girl who you work with or go to school with. Next time you are about to use a routine to elevate your value or generate attraction, do not consider its standalone value. Instead, consider the congruence that routine has to your original intention. Does it reinforce your intention, increasing attraction and rapport, or does it deviate from your intention, decreasing attraction and rapport? Does each subsequent routine further define your intention, or does it serve to confuse a girl? With an indirect intention, a girl will have a lot of reservations about sex and generally exhibit a bit of last minute resistance. Backturns and takeaways are the most congruent way to handle this type of thing. If you start reassuring her in a direct way, she will not believe it, and you will come across weak. Using a more direct game without a lot of social proof, having generated attraction based on confidence and body language alone, it is not so important to take additional actions to convince her she is legitamitely special. You have already done so, and the fact that you are not chatting up three other women in the club reinforces that. If you would like to convert the relationship from casual one to a more romantic one, continue to have sex with her regularly (1-2 times per week at the least). The repeated sex will result in emotional attachment. Intention Shifting While staying congruent to these specific intentions, there is also some degree of flexibility. While is is best to avoid shifting intentions back and forth throughout the interaction, there are two common points where intention can be shifted without major repercussion. I would recommend learning how to handle both intentions very thoroughly before incorporating a shift into your game. The two points that serve as viable shifting points are Qualification and Conversion. Qualification is when you give her a statement of interest. Conversion is after you have had sex with her a few times such that she doesn't write it off as a one night stand. (Usually between 2-4 times) If you start indirect, you can shift to direct when you qualify the girl. Stay direct until you successfuly convert the girl. Starting out with a very social game with heavy social proof, it becomes very important to convince the girl you like her for a valid reason. That is why you must screen her and qualify her based on that. If your interaction starts off direct, you can switch to indirect after you have successfuly converted her. Direct interactions have less of a tolerance for breaking congruency than indirect ones, so is wise to make sure the conversion is thorough. She must become physically attached to you, through repeated sex. Every successful pick up artist I have ever met has these concepts internalized. They may not be aware of it, but they've got them. Understand that these three concepts aren't the end all be all of developing Natural Game, but they are a great place to start! Vincent DiCarlo

The Transition to Natural Game, Part I

2006-01-17T16:25:00.000-08:00

I've met my share of brothers from the community. After sarging with them and watching them in the field, I have seen the same exact things over and over. They all run nearly the exact type of game, and have the same problems. I am not criticizing other people's models, I am just providing a analysis of the EFFECT that these models are having on the bulk of the people I meet. I would estimate about 90% of random community guys I've met fall into this category. Again I emphasize that it is not an inherent flaw in the traditional ASF models, but more how people are interpreting these models, along with other factors related to societal conditioning. This post will serve to help transition those people who are interested from a "nerd-like" entertainment frame to a smooth natural approach which is inherently more seductive and effective particularly in endgame. I have not posted anything advanced in a short while, so this post is the culmination of the past few months of my work. Enjoy! Contents: 1. The two fundamental elements of a pickup. 2. The difference between techniques, mindsets and beliefs. 3. A paradigm shift for ASF models. A full analysis of pop-ASF game vs. natural game. 4. Design the frame for endgame 5. The Continuous Flow of Action. Related Posts: * Confident Rapport by Seth Parker * Rooting: Problem with the who lies more opener by Style * Insights - Thinking beyond the medium by Razorjack * Rewriting the Rules for ASF by Imperfect 1. The Two Fundamental Elements Required for Conscious and Deliberate Pickup. Any active pickup where the man decides who he wants, approaches her and consciously moves the interaction to sex requires only two things. They are: -Strong and unwavering belief that the girl wants him. -An interactive context which can lead to isolation. The great part about this is that any context will work. This represents the differences between all of the methods you see here on ASF: Be it Gunwitch with his strong rapport assumption and ordinary conversation, or be it Mystery's routines which fit into a precise and linear system. They are both just interactive contexts which can lead to isolation. The true firepower, however is the set of beliefs driving the context. The reason why there is so much focus on context, is because it is something that can be learned quickly. It's very easy to learn a few jokes and tell a few stories and memorize a few openers. Internalizing good beliefs on the other hand, usually takes months or even years. So you will see some guys on here telling us to ignore the belief / inner game stuff and just develop a strong context. While it may be beneficial to develop a really strong context, we must take care that our execution of techniques isn't inhibiting the growth of good beliefs or installing limiting ones. The fastest route to mastery is to continue developing strong beliefs and at the same time become familiar with a variety of contexts -- get a lot of experience under your belt. Adopt a really great inner game program, and then go into the field and work your techniques. Learn to handle as many tough situations as possible - large sets, daytime isolation, amogs, direct approaches, etc. Realize it can take quite some time before your beliefs make a significant enough change such that you achieve the kind of success you're really after. 2. Techniques, Mindsets, Beliefs and how they are related. On the most superficial level, we have techniques. A technique is something that you say or do while interacting with a woman. We all have a great deal of conscious control over which techniques we use. On the flipside, techniques are the least effective part of who you are and quite useless without the deeper levels mindsets and beliefs. At the very deepest level, we have our beliefs. Beliefs determine your reality, and are shaped by your identity. Unlike techniques, we have very little conscious control over our beliefs. They are so far below the surface of our awareness that it is nearly impossible to change them at will. There are probably zen monks who can consciously affect their beliefs on command, but then again, those guys aren't trying to learn to pick up women on an internet chat board -- to the best of my knowledge, anyway. Now what most people ignore, are the mindsets behind the techniques. This is the frame through which we deliver our techniques. A mindset determines the internal dialogue that you experience throughout the pickup. A mindset can be applied to a group of techniques, and a group of mindsets is what makes up a belief. Razorjack's thread "Insights - Thinking beyond the medium" provides a great explanation of mindsets. What he refers to as thinking beyond the medium is just assigning a mindset to each group of your techniques. It simplifies your pickup by redirecting your focus of attention. Instead of remembering 20 different technical details, you just have one mental focus - a specific mindset. Mindsets are easier to change than beliefs, but not as easy to learn as techniques. Exerting conscious control over your mindsets is the most effective way to affect your inner game, since they are in direct contact with your belief system. Example of a mindset: Take the c+f line "Whoah, pointy shoes! They're nice, but I feel sorry for the little elf you stole them from, who's now running around barefoot." You can deliver the line with the mindset "She's hot so I have to show her I'm indifferent / not impressed by her, so she thinks I'm better than her." -or- you can deliver the line with the mindset "I care about this woman, I'm enjoying the interaction, and I am joking with her to make her laugh and feel good." Obviously the latter is more effective, as the former will come off insecure. Despite the fact that you are saying the same words, because you are using two different states of mind, you'll get two dramatically different results. Not only will your results be worse, but carrying the former mindset around will only do harm to your belief system. It presupposes LOWER VALUE and lack of attraction. No good. The end goal is to change your beliefs, since they will ultimately have the greatest effect on your game. Simple repetition of techniques without the proper mindsets or with incorrect mindsets will do damage to your belief system. You need to adopt great mindsets to insure proper development of a belief system. 3. ASF Paradigm Shift. The traditional model in use by the majority of ASFers I've met is the following: -Assume that girls must be "hooked" in order to be interested in you. (Sometimes true to varying degrees) -Approach with prepared opinion opener designed to engage girls, meanwhile feigning disinterest. -Assume since you're approaching her, she's automatically more valuable, so... -Go right into story to in order to display higher value, which will generate the attraction which was previously not present. -Continue to tell stories, tease girls until you get clear indication of interest. -Phase shift into "rapport / comfort" which consists of ordinary conversation, dropping the personality she was interested in initially. -Bait her into qualifying herself to you, and no matter what she says, SOI her for that. (This step ain't so bad) -Isolate and escalate. (This one isn't either :) Six Common Sticking Points in Execution of the Traditional Model. Sticking Point #1. The first problem with this approach is that people mouth canned openers without a context for them. Style had an entire post dedicated to this point alone, so I won't go into detail here. (Rooting - problem with the who lies more opener) If you want to use opinion openers either: A. Genuinely care about the topic. -or- B. Make sure it's obvious that the opinion opener is just an excuse to talk to her. (In this case, ask it and then quickly change topics) Sticking Point #2. Secondly, guys spend hours and hours on this website, learning material, preparing a routine stack which is designed to engage girls. These guys go out of their way to learn these girly topics of conversation which the majority of us aren't really interested in, just to get female attention. And then on top of that, they pretend that they aren't really interested in fucking the girls! Then, the moment they "stack" these girly openers and DHV's, she's CONVINCED they want something and she knows exactly what they are up to. Feigning disinterest now becomes highly incongruent. I mean seriously. To go out of your way to learn girly topics of conversation, just to have permission to talk to chicks is SUPPLICATION. Entering a females reality just so we can talk to her for a few minutes with the hopes of fucking her is ridiculous! Here's an analogy. What if a girl went out of her way to learn all about sports or cars or (insert masculine topic here), even though she didn't really like or understand these things - just so she could relate to guys in conversation? This girl doesn't really care about these things, but is pretending to, and spending hours and hours on the internet learning about them, just so she has permission to talk to guys. Does this telegraph that she has an interesting life? Is she telegraphing that she is a valued commodity? NO! Exactly the opposite. If a girl like this came up to me, and talked about things that interested me, I might engage her for a bit, but would I be ATTRACTED TO HER? Hell no. Now what if she kept changing subjects and kept desperately trying to find something I wanted to talk about... would that make me more likely to find her interesting? It may appear to work marvelously because it gets new guys into set, because now they are actually talking to girls whereas previously they stood there and did nothing, having absolutely zero context. But the majority of people reading this do not need that kind of content to be interesting to women. Learning girly topics of conversation WILL get you to open more sets consistently - but it's under an entertainment / girlfriend frame, and while things will seem great that night, she will be almost guaranteed to flake. You won't get laid. I've questioned SHBs (after I've slept with them and they're more honest) about this. These are girls who go out and are almost always the hottest girls in the club, wherever they go. This is what one of them told me: "Yeah sometimes we talk to guys out of pity. If a guy seems really weird or is dressed gay or something, we'll talk to him just so we can laugh about him later. It's fun. He thinks he's getting somewhere, but then at the end we run away from him laughing." Girls will talk to sufficiently weird enough guys who "seem gay" for THEIR OWN ENTERTAINMENT. This is a fact, and very common with hot girls. They will sit there and eye code each other, loving it, not because they are sexually attracted, but OUT OF PITY. Don't design your game so that you are becoming this type of guy. Sure you are opening more sets, but it's for the wrong reason. Sticking Point #3. Demonstrating Higher Value. The reason why this is detrimental once again goes back to the mindset behind it. Feeling the need to demonstrate higher value is the same feeling that an AFC has when he starts bragging about his job or car or girls he's banging. Sure, you are using a more sophisticated technique, but the mindset and beliefs behind it are EXACTLY THE SAME. Never go out of your way to demonstrate higher value. Assume higher value! You're the fucking man! You have higher value automatically! I tell plenty of stories in set, but I do it for fun, because I'm having fun doing it -- not with the intent of "proving myself" to the girl. Sticking Point #4. It is impossible to fake disinterest 100% of the time. Even if you memorize 5 stories, 3 teases and absolutely MASTER the backturn, it doesn't matter because you'll fail the next test she throws at you. Women are CONTINUALLY testing guys they are attracted to, and most of it doesn't fit a predetermined pattern -- IT's NONVERBAL. I get tested all the time by women. They're thinking "Who the fuck does he think he is, this skinny little fucker... I'm gonna see if he's for real. I hope he's not wasting my time." So they have to test you. They don't want to fuck some ingenuine guy that faked the first 10 minutes really well. You have got to be the real deal through and through, my friend. And faking any more than you can back up, will just insight more intense tests which you are bound to fail. Don't fake disinterest unless you can back it up 100%. Sticking Point #5. Relying on IOI's in order feel like it's *on*, instead of assuming attraction. Thinking too much and calculating your behavior based on watching for IOI's. Don't wait around for IOI's before feeling good about the sarge. Her interest will be based on your vibe anyway, and if your vibe is dependent on watching for predetermined IOI's, then you are leaving it up to chance. Let's face it, most IOI's that people look for are pretty ordinary behaviors that women exhibit when you talk to them anyway. Some of the popular one's I've heard are: She asks you where you're from - This is one of the most common pieces of smalltalk when you're first getting to know each other. She may be asking you this just to be friendly, it doesn't mean she wants to fuck you. She touches you - women are actually more likely to touch you if they aren't as attracted to you, as a way of playing with you. If a woman senses extremely high value, and is a bit intimidated, she is less likely to touch you. She is also less likely to touch you first if you are very direct. Of course, if you don't even have a chance, she won't touch you at all. Either way, unreliable as an IOI. Remember, one of the two things necessary in pickup is the belief that the girl wants you. It may be difficult to believe at first but keep reminding yourself of this, and train yourself to see *everything* she does as an IOI. Is she looking at you when you talk? It's on. Is she contributing to the conversation? It's on. Is she standing in your physical proximity? It's ON! Sticking Point #6. Dropping the personality that initially attracted her as a part of a "phase shift", mistakenly thinking it takes X amount of time to attract a woman, or feeling the need to "transition into" X,Y or Z. It sounds like three different points, but really they all stem from the same type of beliefs and mindsets. They come from leftover society programming like "It takes a long time for women to become attracted." or "Men have to earn a woman's attention and attraction." If you do actually do well to convey a fun personality to a chick in the first few moments of meeting her, such that she is attracted to you, you should maintain that same fun personality while getting to know her better and deepening your connection. Intersperse your c+f and playfullness with your rapport. But at all costs, stay congruent and do not become someone else entirely. On the flip side, do not stay in a perpetual attraction stage where you are running material for the upwards of 10 - 20 minutes. That is WAY too long. If you use a couple of fun pieces to open a set, and they respond well to that, they have already made a positive judgement of you. Keep it light on the material and rely more on sharing positive energy with the set, and particularly your target. Also a lot of people believe that you need a 'transition' to do certain things - especially kinesthetic related actions like touching, kissing, and cavemanning. You do not need a transition for these types of things. You just need to do them with the full certainty that she will enjoy it. Decide what you are going to do, and do it like you mean it. Natural Game. If you're going to make the transition to natural game, start out simple. It takes some getting used to, and requires attention on a couple of different levels. It may seem awkward at first, especially if you are use to the traditional indirect game model discussed above. But if you work with it and gain even just a baseline competence, you will: -Improve your closing rate, avoiding 'sexless frames' -Reduce your flaking -Focus more on the interaction and enjoying the process -Allow your true attractive personality to bloom -Develop an incredible belief system If you would still prefer an indirect type of approach based on routines and canned material, it would surely be beneficial to implement these mindsets anyway, along with correcting all of the previously mentioned sticking points. It can do nothing but improve your results. Of course there are some differences that some may consider to be drawbacks: -Her initial impression of you becomes increasingly important and is predominantly visual and auditory based. This doesn't mean you have to be good looking, but it does mean you need a tight "image" including style, bodylanguage, tonality and facial expressions. She is going to size you up based on your energy and vibe, and will interpret everything you say through that filter. -There is no more masking insecurities behind indirect techniques. You will be forced to confront your limiting beliefs head on, and handle them once and for all. I actually think this is an advantage, but it may be scary for some people to confront their deepest fears and depend on their core identity to attract women. Guys with self-hatred issues and poor self image may shy from this type of thing, telling themselves it would never work, despite the fact that it is the solution to all of their problems. -Your opening percentage will be lower. You will get blown out faster from certain sets. You can persist on these, but it is likely that they would have not led to anything anyway. In this way, it acts as an efficiency screen and which saves you from wasting your time. Naturalized Seduction Model: 1. Assume Attraction, adopt mindset that you are going use your personality to make her feel great. 2. Open direct. This includes direct compliments on her beauty or remarks about the environment, or even a simple "Hi." If you are still hesitant to use direct openers, ask her for an opinion that you're actually curious about. Your opening bodylanguage MUST be congruent to your intentions. 3. Go directly to a vibing / rapport type of interaction. Be playful with her and get to know her. If you tell stories, make sure they're fun, and not meant to impress her. Lead the interaction via a continuous flow of action. (explained below) 4. Lead smoothly and confidently to escalation. This could mean you instadate her, venuechange her or close her. 5. Repeat steps 3 and 4, until you isolate and fuck her. This is a very simple structure, but it's effectiveness depends on the mindsets in the next section. 4. Designing the Frame for Endgame Natural game is based more on mindsets than anything else. Adopt the mindsets, and allow the techniques to flow. You will find yourself inventing your own tips and tricks and posting them on here for others to check out. Mindsets are essential to any game, particularly one with minimal structure such as the Naturalized Seduction Model. -Mindsets- Approach: The game starts before you walk up. A woman's impression of you is largely determined by what she sees before you open your mouth - that combined with the impression you make on her in the first few seconds upon opening. People have a tendency to generalize the type of person you are as fast as possible, which makes everything in the beginning very influential on the remainder of the interaction. I think that it is often downplayed how important it is to have a very strong visual image based on your style, dress and bodylanguage. You will hear girls often saying 'he was cute so I talked to him' or 'he was cute so I let my girlfriend stay and talk to him'. Do NOT underestimate the impression you are making visually. We talk all the time on here about it being a limiting belief that you do not need to be handsome, but that does NOT apply to your style, overall grooming and bodylanguage. This stuff is vital. One of the reasons why I avoid opinion openers is because of the subtle frame of *needing something from someone*. Sometimes I think they are about a half step up from a person in the mall asking you for a few moments to fill out a survey -- very unromantic and asexual. This is just me however, and I do know a few guys who use them with great success because of their high consistency of opening. It is a matter of preference, I suppose but I like to start the romantic vibe from the very instant I walk up. I don't give up any power by needing someone's opinion - the girl's #1 objective is to IMPRESS ME from the very start. Teasing, C+F, Busting: Some people don't like to combine this type of thing with their direct game. To me, this is one of the best parts about direct game. I love teasing and busting on girls. The beauty is, if you are running a direct game, she KNOWS you're just playing with her. The way I like to think about it is 'floating' your indirect tech (c+f, MCR, busting, push/pull) above a very solid and confident direct vibe. That is you are vibing direct with your bl, facial expressions, warm tonality, but at the same time having fun with her. You are making her feel good through humor because you enjoy her. Affecting her Emotions: It is a well known fact that we should engage girls on an emotional level. Touch her emotions. Trigger her emotions, yet people are still confused about how to actually do this. You don't 'talk about emotions' with her. You cause her to experience different emotions through a variety of ways. Off the top of my head I can think of: -Displaying your emotions through facial expression and tonality when you tell stories -Talking about your passions, let's her have a taste of your potential emotions directed toward her -Being unpredictable, her uncertainty will cause emotional response in her -Creating situations where she experiences an emotion (ex. SOI'ing her and then not calling her for a few days - she's ecstatic, and then curious and scared) Logistics: There is no set structure to pick-up. We are artists, remember? You are creating the experience for her so that it is unique. It's fine to follow a predictable structure at the lower levels, but it's like a kata in martial arts. When it comes down to real world situations, while having a loose structure you must adapt and improvise in an aesthetic way. Take pride in your work and create a wonderful EXPERIENCE for the woman. Give her the fantasy. Allow her dreams to come true. Be that man she's been waiting for. Closing / Venuechanging: The state of mind you should have when interacting with a chick should be one of 'relaxed and relished certainty'. Don't rush things. Don't 'watch' for IOI's. In other words, you shouldn't be dependent on her, or too reactive to her. Imagine being a hunter with a high powered rifle, and you're hunting a dear in some enclosed space. You know that any moment you CAN kill the dear - but instead you choose to relax and enjoy the experience because of that certainty. You continue to relish in the experience, enjoy the chase, and do it when at the absolute perfect moment. It also reminds me of having some kind of dessert or maybe a delicious bottle of champagne that you could open at any moment and enjoy, but you put it off, because you're enjoying the anticipation so much. Treat closing a woman exactly the same as these types of moments. Enjoy your interaction with her being 100% certain that it will lead where you want it to later on. 5. The Continuous Flow of Action One thing I am realizing over and over again: *The time factor is completely irrelevant to pickup.* Time is usually a huge limiting belief for most people. People generally feel that girls need some quantity of time in order to: -become attracted -become comfortable -leave a venue with you -provide contact information that won't flake -become turned on This again, is leftover society programming. Let go of the need to make pickup difficult or complicated. In some ways it is kinda complex, but release the desire to make it so. My flaking ratio is very good. Not 100% perfect, but pretty damn close. The average time it takes for me to get a non-flaking phone number is between 30 seconds and 5 minutes. No more - it's just not necessary. Let me explain why: After a first meeting, she is going to walk away with some kind of impression - a memory of the encounter. Now the way the mind works, is that it distorts time around really strong impressions. We remember each event as a series of mental pictures and sounds with varying intensities. The intensity is determined by the emotions present at the time, and how rare or scarce those emotions are. If you walk up to her like no man ever has, and completely rock her world for a few moments, thrilling her with your masculine vibe, she will never forget you! Thinking back to the encounter, it's very hard to determine time objectively. She's not thinking "Well, he walked up, and said a few things to me, but only stayed and talked for 3 minutes. I don't think I should meet with him - that's not enough time." What she is thinking is "Wow, this guy came up to me, and he was amazing. It was so romantic and seemed so right. He was cute, charming, and he made me feel so good. I can't wait to see him again!" Only do what you need to create a strong impression on her - and that impression is completely time-independent. It is more based on: Visual Impression / Identity - BL, style, facial expressions Auditory Impression - tonality, pacing and rhythm Emotional Content - vibe, connection, expression of emotion Continuous Flow of Action -> The Continuous Flow of Action is a fancy way of explaining 'smoothness', and it achieves a couple different things: -Let's you take the lead and control the encounter -Allows her logical mind to shut off -Let's her trust you and feel comfortable immediately -Makes everything seem 'right' and natural A continuous flow of action is best described by a LACK of the following things: -weird pauses and indecision -hesitation -waiting -looking for approval or other responses (IOI's) -overanalysis -overthinking While you should not do these things, it is even more important that SHE does not do these things. In order to achieve a continuous flow of action, you need a minimal structure, quick responses and a lot of confidence. I will illustrate with a few examples. Cold Approach (Assuming time is important) 1. Guy walks up, delivers opener goes into story. 2. Girl reacts positively. 3. Guy feels he needs more attraction, goes into another story, irrelevant to first one. 4. Girl reacts positively again. 5. Guy waits, thinks of what to do next. 6. Guy starts getting some rapport, asks questions. 7. Guy waits some more thinking he needs more time for a solid close. 8. Guy asks some more questions, unsure if she's attracted enough, looking for IOI's. 9. Girl is confused about his lack of confidence and doesn't understand his true intentions so says she's gotta go. 10. Guy tries last ditch effort and attempts to close. 11. Girl doesn't give number, because she's being congruent with step 9. Cold Approach (Continuous Flow of Action) 1. Guy walks up, delivers opener goes into story. 2. Girl reacts positively. 3. Without hesitation, guy immediately starts to connect, asking basic questions. (School, work, etc) 4. Guy teases a bit about her answers. 5. Guy realizes he doesn't have much to say, so gets to the point. 6. Guy says "Well I'm off to meet some friends, but let's do coffee sometime." 7. Because guy is clear and confident, girl agrees, solid close. Back to your place (Assuming time is important) 1. Guy walks girl into his place. 2. Girl sits down on couch, guy does also. 3. Guy thinks about what routine he needs to spike BT. 4. Guy starts spouting non-sequitur routine to give her time to be turned on. 5. Girl confused, closes up a bit. 6. Guy not seeing IOI's, waits, thinks of another routine, starts to deliver it. 7. Girl gets up and says she has to go. Back to your place (Continuous Flow of Action) 1. Guy walks girl to his place. 2. Guy tells girl to take her shoes off. 3. Guy sits her in front of the tv, and turns it on. 4. Guy goes to fridge and prepares 2 glasses of red wine. 5. Guy comes back and toasts to good times. 6. Guy tells short joke, girl laughs. 7. Guy goes for kiss. The idea is that you provide her with instructions at every point and make it clear how she should respond. Intentions are always clear, actions are always confident and calculated. The man knows the entire plan from point A to point B, and always assumes she's ready to go. No hesitation, no indecisiveness. This is truly what attracts women - much much more than *any* canned material. Her emotions are engaged 150% on overdrive. You are putting her IN THE ROMANCE NOVEL. Woodhaven

The Natural Game Compendium

2006-01-01T19:07:00.000-08:00

I've gotten a bunch of emails from guys looking for articles on natural game lately, so I've decided to compile some of the best posts from natural game PUAs here on this blog. I'll link them all on the sidebar, so you can find them anytime. Look for it in the next few days.

Disqualify the general, Qualify the specific

2006-01-01T18:56:00.000-08:00

The difference between lame, supplicating compliments and powerful qualifying compliments is that lame compliments are to general traits the girl has, while powerful compliments are specific to the girl. A common social error made by guys (and girls) is trying to qualify someone on a trait they have which they share with a lot of people. For example, saying that you like girls of her race, or hair color, or complimenting her on lame stuff which isn't really unique to her. Also, complimenting her on being good looking in general without saying anything specific to her (direct openers don't count because they're not actually qualifying her, they're just giving you a situationally relevant way to open her). This is the AFCs do. It comes off as lame because in the back of her mind she knows that she didn't really EARN the compliment, and you're just doing it to try and make up for your lack of value. Examples: (After talking to a girl for hours) Guy: You know, you're really beautiful (and not saying anything SPECIFIC that he likes about her looks) Girl: Uh, thanks (thinking: weirdo) or Guy: You're Japanese? Awesome!!! I only date Japanese girls (attempting to raise your value by qualifying her on something she didn't put any work into, comes off as lame) or Guy: So what do you do for fun? Girl: Um...I dunno...I like watching movies Guy: Really? I like movies too. We should catch a movie together sometime (Rewarding her with a compliment and show of interest for a lame response which isn't unique to her. The girl will know that she didn't really deserve this, and the guy's value will go down. She'll sense he's chasing her.) Girl: Uh...I'm busy... Instead of doing this, set yourself apart by disqualifying general characteristics. A good example of this is how Dimitri tells Japanese girls that he never dates Japanese girls (and then later he fucks them ;). You can disqualify a girl on any general characteristic she has about her. In fact, sometimes it's necessary for a girl to feel fully qualified for you that shut down her lame attempts to DHV and disqualify her on them. Examples: Girl: Yeah I didn't think this outfit was anything special, but all these guys were staring at me when I was walking down the street today (trying to DHV by showing that other guys are attracted to her) Guy: Really?!?! High five! (then takes his hand away when she goes for it and makes her look dumb, and playfully shuts down her lame DHV) or Guy: Usually I'm not attracted to girls who are blonde/short/tall/older/younger/whatever general trait, but I like you because you're (specific trait). (makes her feel more qualified because she feels she was initially at a disadvantage to other girls in getting you, but overcame that through the work she put into getting you) or Guy: So what do you do for fun? Girl: Um...I dunno...I like watching movies... Guy: Wow, that's awesome. I can just see you on a Friday night, and all your friends are like "hey, lets go out and get drunk," and you're like "noooo, I don't like going out, I gotta stay here and watch MOVIES..." (playfully shutting down the lame DHV attempt because it's not unique or special to her) Girl: Haha, shut up, I'm not like that (qualifying herself) Guy: Well, that's good (goes into stories about his life to make her open up more) The things which you should qualify her on should all be specific to her. The more specific to her they are, the more powerful the qualification is. This is why while general direct openers (Hey, I think you're cute) work, specific direct openers (Hey, I saw you walking here wearing that crazy purple hat and sparkly shirt, and I think you look really amazing) work better. Examples: Guy: Are you adventurous? Girl: Yeah, I like to do crazy things. This one time I decided that I wanted to go skydiving...I was so scared when I was in the plane, but finally I got up the courage and I jumped out, and it was one of the greatest experiences of my life. Guy: That's really cool. I like girls who do crazy stuff like that. (rewarding her for a genuinely interesting DHV story, which is unique and specific to her) or Guy: So what do you do for fun? Girl: I'm a writer, I'm working on my own novel right now. Guy: Really...I'm actually a writer too. You should show me some of your work sometime (Rewarding her by showing interest in something unique to her, comes across well) So remember: Disqualify the general, qualify the specific. Playfully shut down lame DHV attempts, and qualify the DHV stories of the girl that are unique and specific to her. -Dan

Active Value vs. Passive Value

2006-01-01T18:49:00.000-08:00

There are two kinds of value you can display to a girl: value which you have to actively demonstrate, and value which the girl perceives just by you being there. This is the case with guys who give off an attractive vibe, and have girls attracted to them without them even doing anything. You should use both kinds of value when doing pickup, but it's important to understand them both. Many new guys have very little passive value, and try to do it all through active value. This explains guys who have mastered a lot of MM techniques, but still aren't getting laid. You need a solid foundation of passive value for you active value to be effective. If a girl doesn't perceive you as at least moderately attractive within 30 seconds of talking to you, you need to work on your passive value subcommunications more. Dimitri made a new post on ASF addressing this, check it out.

Originally posted by Dimitri 1. If you actually have a valuable characteristic about you, it will be obvious to someone from interacting with you. 2. You can cultivate the appearance of valuable and attractive traits. Doing this will make you seem like you have that trait - and over time, you'll grow into the role. Even if you're not confident, if you act confident, you will slowly become confident. 3. You can actively demonstrate traits about yourself. You can tell a joke to show you're funny, make an approach to show you're confident, tease a girl to show you're not scared of her, and so on. Which of the these three ways of expressing value is the most effective way to pickup? This has been a subject of great debate for some time. Here's what people have decided: 1. "Actually being confident" and "actually being funny" are the easiest ways to appear confident and funny with no effort on your part in the short term. BUT, if you're not confident, or funny, or a leader, or quickwitted, or charismatic, it can take the longest amount of time to become these things. It takes a while to internalize things you've learned and are working on. 2. Cultivating the appearance of a trait: This is faster in the long term than actually becoming it, AND it helps you become it. So, it's easier to appear confident than to actually be confident. And appearing confident all the time will make you more confident. This still does take a while to accomplish. 3. Actively demonstrating a trait every time you need to, such as going out of your way to tell a joke to every woman you meet so she knows you're funny: This is the most efficient route in the short term (can be done instantly) but in the long term, will add up to far more time spent. This is because it is a lot of work to constantly be demonstrating things like being confident and emotionally steadfast in a relationship to keep her around, or to demonstrate traits to every woman you try to meet. Actively demonstrating a trait is one of the first steps to cultivating the appearance of a trait. The best pickup artists employ all three of these ways of showing/having value. They'll start by using the third way, active demonstration, to get their feet wet and experiment with their new stuff. Over time, they'll start changing their body language, eye contact, tonality, style, and even general speaking patterns. This will lead to the appearance of valuable traits. Over time, this results in evolution into actually having these traits. Many men start by learning funny retorts to insults and disrespectful behavior. Over time, they ideally evolve into quickwitted guys. Of the three ways to show value, they fall into two categories: Active and Passive. And entire pickup styles revolve around them. Active: The assumption that you need to build value with a girl and working to do it. Passive: The assumption that you have value, and it being communicated simply by your presence. A good pickup artist, even one with a lot of Passive Value, will still actively demonstrate a characteristic about himself when it's useful. Master PUA's will even demonstrate things that would be unattractive coming from a weaker man, things like vulnerability or a really strong affinity for a girl we've just met. We do this to keep the woman thinking we're attainable, so she doesn't get dejected and end the interaction to preserve her ego. Many men in the seduction community weren't the "cool kids" when they were growing up. In high school, college, and before and after those times, they weren't really popular. So when one of these guys hears "Just be cool" or "Wear cool clothes and act normal", they can't identify with it. Guys who have some level of self-esteem built, either through luck or because they worked hard for it, will have an easier time accepting this: Every man who wants to improve himself has some passive value. Simply by being intelligent enough to want to improve and ambitious enough to try it, you've got SOME value. Maybe not ENOUGH to rely on it exclusively, but you must accept the fact that you have passive value. Don't assume you start out at zero: It's a bad place to work from, and will result in tryhard behavior. Instead, realize objectively what you've got going for you, and try to get other things going for you. At the very, very least, anyone here has a base level of intelligence, education, self-respect, and a hunger for more, an ambition and a will to get success: All of which are attractive. The biggest place this debate comes up is regarding teaching. Whether it's an international business doing lectures and workshops or it's just a guy teaching his wing, or friend, or brother, people argue about where to start. A lot of guys rising into the "new school" of natural game think that active value building is to be frowned upon. When Woodhaven codified and published The Transition to Natural Game, he did not mean to shun all forms of active value - I know because I eat and drink with him, and he's said as much himself. Both Vin and I use techniques when it's to our benefit. But it's cool that we can throw the rulebook out the window and do pickup strictly on passive value. A healthy system of self-improvement is one which makes its students or disciples both more actively valuable and passive valuable. That way, you're more attractive before you speak a single word and you can choose to dial it up by sprinkling a little of your time into an interaction. Sebastian Drake Minister of Seduction 2006

Value isn't enough

2006-01-01T18:40:00.000-08:00

You can have higher value than a girl, and she still may not be attracted to you. According to Dimitri's new attraction model: Attraction = Value + Attainability + Work put in If the girl feels that you're not attainable for her, or that she hasn't put enough work into getting you, she'll shut down the attraction she feels for you, and you won't get laid. Once you already have value, you also have to make yourself attainable to the girl by qualifying her well and showing genuine interest at appropriate times. Also, you have to let her put work in and allow her to "game" you. The One made a new post about this, which is worth the read.

Originally posted by The One ***Slow Down and you’ll go Faster!*** (Note: This post is not intended for any beginners.) The more we become engrossed in cold-approaching and playing the game, the better we become at it. At some point for everyone, things become second nature. You just have certain reactions and certain mannerisms that are now a part of you. Sometimes you can come across as too smooth, too comfortable, too confident. That’s not necessarily a bad thing but it definitely raises red flags in women’s assessment and categorization of us. You meet a girl, you make plans, go on a day 2, and where as most men have carry that feeling of nervousness (or trying to cover it up,) you come off as completely comfortable. This immediately seems to caution them and they label you as a “Player.” A funny thing happens in this scenario: The more they like you, the more they start trying to withhold physical intimacy. The more they think they may want to see you in the long term, the more try to fight even their own urges to hook up with you. To me, the funny part about it is that I actually don’t want just a one night stand with some of these girls. Some of them are pretty damn cool chicks and I want to see them for a longer span of time. This is where you have to actually slow down your “Smoothness” and confidence. In these scenarios, showing traits normally deemed as “AFC” on these boards will help facilitate things much better. This is definitely advice NOT for the beginner. In fact, if a beginner reads this post, I’d say forget about it. I was recently in the East Coast and had a chance to catch up with IN10SE. While we were hanging out, he told me about his MLTRs and mentioned that none of them would suspect in a million years that he is a player or involved with this stuff. Meanwhile, the guy is a fucking legend in the community. They all think that he is a nice guy who is confident and has his shit together. Being too confident and aggressive sometimes can become a hindrance (depending on what type of girls you are going for.) In such scenarios, you’ll actually go faster if you slow down. All things considered blasphemous in the community for “AFCs” suddenly become positive qualities once again. This includes giving out compliments, telling girls you missed them, that you were thinking about them, how special they are, and sweet talking them. These acts are perhaps sins to the AFC, but really help put a smile on a girl’s face IF you possess the proper traits and belief system. [i.e your frame is not one of neediness, but rather exudes that of a guy who gets girls.] This is perhaps nothing new, but it captures a lot of my experience over the past year and I am willing to be there are a lot of other guys who have had the same experience. We get to a certain point and we tend to “Over game” too much, try to tease too much, and so forth. Like I said, slow down the gaming and you’ll actually go faster. **One more archetype of girl I have come across as of late: Gamer girls. There is a small subset of women, (I’d guess about 5%), who actually like to game. For some reason, they enjoy gaming you and being the aggressor. It’s fun to watch actually: These girls seem to enjoy gaming the way men do. They enjoy running lines on you, and sometimes, you’d swear they were running routines on you that they have run 100s of times before. With these women, you really have to play the aloof, almost “I am kind of shy” type. Otherwise, they seem to lose interest. I probably couldn’t really “Date” a girl like that in the long term unless I put her in her place first. I have a rather aggressive personality myself or so I am told. However in the (very) short term, you could simply do very little and these chicks will try to get you in bed by gaming YOU! My most amusing anecdote with this archetype comes from several weeks back when one of these gamer girls turned me and said, “You know, game recognizes game.” With the Gamer chicks as well, slow down and you’ll go faster. The One

'jack is back!

2006-01-01T18:33:00.000-08:00

After taking a long posting hiatus, razorjack has returned to ASF. He put up this post about perceived image vs. projected image, and how you can use the two to help you in pickup.

Originally posted by razorjack Howdy boys! Yeah I've been a way for a while taking a break from ASF and trying to make changes in my life for the better. Don't know how much longer I'll keep posting here, but I'd like to share some wisdom that I learned during my time away. I see that not much has changed since I've been gone: natural guys bashing routine guys, routine guys bashing natural guys, indirect guys bashing direct guys, direct guys bashing indirect guys, the majority of guys so lost in the tons of information, guys wondering why certain things work for them why other things don't, etc. Well hopefully I can shed some light as to why certain things work for certain guys and not others, why direct works for some and not others, why indirect is better for certain guys, etc. All right, let's get started! :) This was something I learned during the Euro PUA Summit in Vienna this past summer while hanging out with Cortez and Badboy. Except for a hand full of guys, most of the guys hanging out there were great fun to be around. Without sounding too harsh, I gotta say that maybe around 5 out of 60+ guys there projected a positive PUA image, while the rest projected an image of being a dork/nerd/geek. So if you were there and you have any doubts about whether you are/were projecting that sort of image then you probably are/were. Why am I bringing this up? Believe it or not it's not to bash you guys. Well...maybe a little! :) Seriously, I brought this up to give you guys insight into where you are fucking up sarges. OK, first let me get explain what I mean by perceived and projected image. Percieved image is simply how you see yourself and projected image is how others see you. Ground breaking new stuff, isn't it? :) Hehehe...no just kidding! Alot of the guys I met understood their percieved image (how they saw themselves), but almost none knew their projected image (how others saw them). The reason why these 2 images are important is that if the 2 aren't pretty similar, you are going to have some serious INCONGRUENCY in your game. Here's a couple of examples: 1. Alot of the guys that I thought projected a dorky/geeky/nerdy image thought they were really cool cuz they knew a few openers, routines, scripts, etc. Now you can pretty much guess what happened when they approached chicks. 2. Some of the guys that projected a normal/average guy image, would come with the most stupid, anti-social behavior. Now what do you think that does? 3. Imagine a guy that looks like a GQ/Men's Health model. Chicks are thinking he must be a sex god and gets tons of chicks. But the guy has no self confidence when it comes to chicks and comes across all nervous and awkward. OK, now these are pretty obvious examples and they're nothing new that hasn't already been discussed before. BUT what I haven't seen discussed yet is how you use your projected image to start the PU and overcome the most common obstacles. Let me explain further by describing my projected image. Even before I became really good at PU (pre-ASF), people use to look at me and think that I was really smooth with chicks. This took me by surprise at first, but being a natural I was better at it than the majority of guys out there. So I've always projected the image of being a smooth player, even though I wasn't at times when my inner game was shaky. But now that image has amplified even more, so I look like a guy that fucks lots of chicks and that I got chicks throwing themselves at me all the time. So when chicks usually see me they are almost immediately thinking sex! Now this isn't a bad image to have! :) But the problems come in when chicks automatically assume that I can get any chick I want. They believe that I will just fuck them and dump them immediately afterwards for new chicks. So alot of chicks are reluctant to get with me cuz they think they have no way of keeping me. OK, so how does my image help me PU? Well first let's talk about how I approach and open. Since I know that chicks are already thinking about sex from the moment they first see me, I don't need to run any attraction routines, DHV, etc, she is already attracted! Matter of fact she may be thinking that she doesn't have a chance with me. So I approach and open her with a direct compliment, slide my arm around her and kino right away! This works two fold, first since she is already attracted to me it makes her feel great about herself that I find her attractive. Second, since I'm showing interest in her she believes she has a chance with me. OK, so after the opener, how do I continue? Well I already know what problems I'll run into! The majority of chicks think that I'm going to fuck and dump them. So what do I focus on? Simple! I let her know that I recognize her unique qualities and that I like her for it! She expected me to treat her like any other chick, but instead I treat her like the unique individual person she is and BANG! Instant connection! Now she thinks it's OK for us to be together! :) Man, I'm just evil! :) Another example: When I first met Cortez, I thought he was the funniest guy I've ever met. He was a blast to hang around with cuz he's cracking jokes all the time. His projected image is that he's a total clown and alot of fun to be around. He also looks like he's totally harmless towards chicks. This makes chicks feel very comfortable around him almost immediately, but at the same time it affects his game negatively in that he doesn't attract chicks sexually the way I do. So for him his approach and opener comes across like he's joking around with the chicks. Since that is congruent with the image he is projecting, chicks think he is great fun to be around. So after he successfully opens, he'll keep on joking around until the chick gets comfortable with him. He gets rapport very easily cuz of the image he projects. Now he has to over come the problem of getting sexual with chicks. So how does he do it? Well one way he told me was that since chicks feel at ease with him, they have no problem being alone with him thinking that he's too much of a teddy bear to do anything. But as soon as he gets a chick alone, he does a 180 and goes total caveman/badboy on her. It catches her off guard, but Cortez does it in a way where the chicks think it's a pleasant surprise! :) Two different styles, but equally effective at getting the chicks we want. So the moral of the story is find out what your projected image is. Find out the positives and negatives about that image. Use the postives to cut out all the unneccesary bullshit from your game and focus on fixing the negatives when you're interacting with chicks. -Razorjack

Call or text? Do both.

2005-12-19T09:13:00.000-08:00

Shezz has a new tip up on the DJ boards about whether to call or text a girl. He reccomends texting her first the day after the pickup to set up the call and keep you fresh in her mind, and then calling her after.

Originally posted by The Shezzler on sosuave.net Weird huh? You ever been in that situation, you've successfully sarged a stunning girl, youve kissed her, touched her in places that only months before you would never have even dreamed about...but when it comes to calling - theres an invisible wall preventing you from picking up that damn telephone!!! Ahhh forget it, ill send her a text instead - this may seem like a feasible option, but dependant on the amount of attraction that you created with the target - this may be the wrong move. So the question still stands!! Text or Call??? BOTH!!!! Ive come up with a decent little method that will have your target with you on a day2 in 1 week! - Ok, so it dosnt sound great - but for me it was a breakthrough. Ok, lets say that you numba close an HB10 in the clubs on a saturday night (now - this tip is designed primarily for clubbing girls - the last thing you want is for them to pigeonhole you as just one of those club guys - no no!) So, its Saturday night, you sarge an HB10 and you successfully number close that night. The next day - this incredible specimen is on your mind, you know she wont have forgot about you - but there is the chance that she may have placed you in that box - 'Club Guy', in which case you are probably a good drunken memory from the night before - but we dont want this!!! Now - the phone call the next day would be a no no - it would come over as too needy and too desperate, a text message on the other hand is neither - it is simply a creative piece of wording to let her know that you ARE interested!! That you are not just a club guy!! Send her a text message on the Sunday (the day after) just fluffing and vibing, mention a day2 within the text session and end it by telling her you'll TRY* to call her during the week to confirm the times etc for the day2. *Always make sure you say that you will TRY to call her - this way it leaves a mysterious edge! From this point it is down to you, you can send her text messages leading up to the day that you call her - in this case Thursday (5 days later) just fluffing and using the DJ techniques that you have learnt. When Thursday comes (5th day), call her at around 9:30pm that night (let me also add that your only texting should be after 8:00pm - so that you are on her mind when she goes to bed and it also reinstates that you are a busy guy throughout the day!) so again that you are on her mind before she goes to bed. When you call her, ask her how her days been and what shes been up to - then move into a small funny storytelling routine, using any free information that she gave you when she sarged you and/or from the texts that you traded during the week. I also find it good to do some role playing/imagination building - oftentimes telling them that there is a man looking through my window/on my roof or that there is a Sugar Dragon in my garden - the girl cant see this so it drives there imagination wild - make it has funny has possible!!! When you have her laughing and have built some more comfort, set up the day2 sharp and straight for saturday - confirm the place, activity, time etc and say your goodbyes. Places for the date should be: - Bowling - Mall - Ice Skating - Hiking - Biking - Sledding - Make sure the date is action related and gives you a chance to have fun and vibe!!! So remember - When that wall tells you not to pick up the phone/or does (the day after) - think about whether you should: Call or Text!?!?! BOTH!!! Sarge On...

Here's my reply: I like this idea. The text keeps you fresh in her mind, and also gives her your number for when you call later. That way, she'll be more likely to pick up. I wouldn't mention the day2 in the text though. I find that it is better to mention the day2 after you rebuild attraction and rapport with 30-25 minutes of phone game, unless the set was exceptionally solid on the initial sarge. Also, I'd call a bit sooner. Text a day after and call the next day, or the day after that. A good open-loop text message which Woodhaven taught me is "I think I like you too much because" She'll inevitably text you back "because why?" This is good for two reasons. First, she's putting work into the interaction by texting you back. Second, the fact that she's asking you why presupposes that she wants you to like her. Text her back "haha, you dork, you're so nosy " for girls who you didn't establish a good connection with yet, or "haha, you're so cute, I can't tell you all my secrets yet " for girls who you had good rapport with before and had solid attraction. Keep in mind though, that all this just makes it more likely for her to pick up the phone. Once you get her on the phone, it's all on you to build a fun conversation, re-qualify her and get the day2.

VIOLENCE at Project Boston!

2005-12-14T08:26:00.000-08:00

Oh, shit! Just when you thought the drama couldn't get any more intense...

Originally posted by Dimitri Jesus Christ what a night. So we hit the gym last night at 8 o'clock and all is kosher. But then we find out Ninitiki fucked the Korean model we banged ONLY ONE BUNK UP! Mashalomness told us and Woodhaven starts to seethe. And to add insult to injury, he's now doing workshops! He's calling it the "The Modern Nigerian Site" and trying to hawk "Naturalgerian Game" as Natural game! Anyway, Spirit Fingers was sitting on the couch eating cheetos and we had some Boston lair people lounging in our pillow pit. Formhandle walks in carrying a bottle of Bacardi Limon. So we start drinking. Now, me and Jay are big drinkers, but the other guys aren't, so Woodhaven and Fingers are getting a little messed up when none other than MODERN NIGERIAN NINITIKI walks in with Soo (model) and says "Fuck you Woodhaven everyone wants you to leave the house." WOODHAVEN GOES BALLISTIC! And starts breaking stuff! Nintiki is dancing around screaming "I'm the modern man! I'm the modern man! MODERN MAN BITCHES!" Formhandle and I get more drunk before we realize we have a serious problem on our hands. Woodhaven's about to murder this imposter. So we call up Spirit Fingers' hoodrat girlfriend who of course has drugs, and we get hooked up with some xanax, xolax, and xixax for Woodhaven. We get Woodhaven all nice and stoned up and I tell him "It's okay baby, calm down Vin, we got this, we just sold out the D.C. workshop." And he's like, "DLKFKLDSMFLSDMFLDSMFLDSM! Imposters! Imposters! I'm the guru!" Well, a little worried, we manage to get Woodhaven into the back of Formhandle's Hummer H3 and take him down to a medical clinical to get checked in. The receptionist checking-in is a smoking hot Asian. And Woodhaven says to her, between drugged-up sobs, "I'm the world's greatest pickup artist. Any other time and I'd be fucking you right now... up the ass." What a mess. Anyone want to buy my California King bed? Sebastian

Geoff's Ramblings

2005-12-14T08:23:00.000-08:00

Geoff wrote a post in Advanced which is pretty disorganized, but nonetheless has some good content in it.

Originally posted by Geoff Enjoy. Some realizations I've had are subtle while in field. Girls don't have fuck buddy's they have guys who "aren't serious." Girls hate to make decisions, so come close time you need to push hard for the pull. None of this whole would you like to come back to my place. No way, just pure "come on" we're going. But what's really funny is to see girls react as you're taking this strong leading frame where they'll try to find ways of avoiding making a decision saying things like I have to go to the restroom. You have to push even past this. You will all hit a point where your sets will be purely improv. But your improv skills will be tighter than anything you're saying right now. The reason for this is, and at least this in my experience you first need to begin learninng the structure of humor and intrigue to then engrain it into your personality. The great thing is that once you learn the structure. It is my own personal belief that starting off pure improv will be very difficult. It's kind of like telling someone to make cold calls without a script...very difficult...but as always doable. I know this common 101 knowledge, but I don't see enough guys doing this. Befriend the peer group. Fuck, man, I feel like we're so quick to bust out some AMOG tactic when it is completely not necessary. Assess friend or foe, then take action accordingly. But, fuck, man I've done so well befriending the entire group. Then, I'll see some guy who's at an intermediate level, and he can't get this down. Then, I realize that he's not living it but rather faking. What the hell do I mean? I mean that he is in general a quiet, antisocial person and then just turns on a button when he goes out. Well, how does that apply to you. Make it a point to start conversations all day long with people. But not low energy conversations, like "man, weather, sure is shitty." More upbeat. "Man, I stepped outside today, and I swear to God that God made it rain so that I would not leave my house. That's the way it was written in the bible. Thou shall not leave the house during the dayith of rainith. Can't argue with the good book" (obviously this is always off the cuff as you're trying to work on your wits -- remember the basics -- always have something better to say than she does -- that is one of the key elements to proper frame control) Also, I can't emphasize enough to you guys that bringing in that higher upbeat energy. THE SONG TEST. Jeffy and I always fuck around when we're together, and one of the things that we do is sing stupid love songs like "More than Words" by Extreme. The funny thing is that this is actually an attract tactic if song right and at the right time. BUT. And it's a big one. It will only work if you're loud enough and actually push past that tipping point. How do you know you've pushed past the tipping point? You literally will have to get really loud and if you do it properly your entire state will shift into place. Literally if you go out and start singing a loud song, but you sing it loud and passionately amongst a croud of people you will snap into state. Now, why the hell am I mentioning this? Am I mentioning this so you guys go around singing to girls then bomb out and then curse my posts? Of course not. Instead, I'm using it as an example to discover if your energy is right. If you have trouble doing this, then you're not in the right energy. Remember, that your voice is one of the biggest determinents of state and one of the biggest weapons you have with women. Funny thing is that it is so closely tied to state, yet most people never use it as a cue to help themselves get into state. They just ignore all biological cues from their body (tight face, stinged voice, jittery movement, sweaty palms) as normal. Or as something that will go away with time. It can go away now if you tap into it if you start working now on all these things. They're all one big loop your state determines your physiology your physiology determines your state (yes there are other determinents but phsyiology is one of the quickest ways to fix it) Am I perfect? Fuck no, but I'm here to tell you that you don't have to be at the effect of how you feel. You don't have to "plow" through state issues, but rather learn to control them. Not by doing some hypno-fantasy but instead by being conscious of your own body. Watch for backwards rationalization. Guys get into this, and can't get the balls to say. "The set didn't go well, I was acting kind of weird." Instead, they say, "well, I went in too high value and I negged too much" Bull shit, but guess what you have to lose the ego in this to get anywhere. Or, if you have to have an ego, get it from long term results. Like how many lays are you getting per month? How many COMMITTED approaches are you doing? If your afraid what your wings think, fuck your wings! A good wing is there to help you not to judge you, and be like "pu$$inator is a piece of shit." Man, when I'm with Mike, Tim, Tyler, or Jeffy, we're out having a great time and trying to help each other. Not trying to prove our self-worth with one another. Because you know what, it never ends? You can fuck 3 girls in 3 days, and someone is going to be like "dude, they weren't that hot" Are you going to let that get you down? Fuck that if you're in this for validation, I suggest you stick to the keyboards because that shit doesn't fly in the field. You go into set thinking your too good. That's not fucking alpha. That's fucking arrogance. Universally unattractive to any and all women. You don't want to get a rejection and get a little ego bruising. Keep lying to yourself that's the easy way. Or you can dust off your shoulder and hit the field and decide that in the next 2 hours I'm gonna approach x number of girls and as soon as I'm done with one set. I'm jumping in another, no thought, no hesitation. Quick idea -- that's how you hit state by the way. It's not some magical formula, it's that easy. Guys, and yes, this is sometimes tough for me too but that's the discipline aspect that cannot be underlooked. Speaking of discipline, I'm going to mention Jeffy real fast. Not to suck his dick, but to tell you that one thing I love about him is his discipline. If you guys have been around long enough, you'll remember the Jlaix routine sheets that he would compile. It's that type shit. Man, that guy has discipline habits for all types of great habits that he formed a long time ago. Stay in set till you get at least a number or a blowout. Always followup with your girls next day. Never leave a club without doing the number of approaches you said you were going to do. Upon entering the venue get into set asap to avoid procrastination. Push hard for extractions. And you know what, his efforts paid off because he has some of the most beautiful game I have ever seen. He likens himself to an artist. I'll let you guys decide on that one. Point is GET A SET OF DISCIPLINE HABITS AND STICK TO THEM. There is no such thing as "an off night" I've gone out with literally a flu so bad that I felt like vomitting every 5 minutes, and I still was able to successfully get the girls. Am I trying to brag here? Yes. Seriously, though, you are in control of your state, and what I see guys do a lot is they quit early. Right when it's getting tough like 1AM, they start losing their edge and then start going massively internal. What they don't realize is that the way you can feel changes in a second? I'll have a student, he'll come back to me after a harsh blowout (gotta love these LA women) and his eyes will be all watery. He'll start saying all these unnecessary identity related comments like "I am no good. I am not getting it. I am tired." when in reality he's not doing that bad. Remember, everyone gets blownout. It's just what you do about the blowouts that matter. Do you think about it then hesitate and then go approach? Or, do you just go into the next set? It's a subtle distinction. I'd have to say that you need to learn whatever is to be learned from that set on your way to your next set. Especially, when you're doing street moving sets, where the success ratio gets a little lower than clubs, bars, etc. Point is, that if I go in and wing that student in another set, and it starts going well. Then, he's all energized ready to go until 2AM. In an instant that shift happens. That's why I say there's no such thing as an off night. Never. I learned over time that if I do what I said I was going to do, I never go home feeling bad. Mission accomplished. I'm thinking, "Ok, I said I was going to do 3 approaches. First set. Fizzle. Second Set. Boom, I'm in, isolation, pushed for extraction but she wasn't down, but still got solid number. Third set. Extraction. Tonight was a success" If you're a newbie, "First Set. Blowout. Second Set. Harsh Blowout. Third Set. Nice Blow out. Fourth set. got into rapport! Fifth set. Weird looks from girls then blow out.....Tenth set. Decent number close from girl with buzz from alcohol." It's all progress. Remember, progress not perfection. Always. If you want a perfect approach, or the perfect thing to say. Start fantasizing. Because you're not going to find it. You're going to find great things to say though. They'll work most of the time, but they won't always work. Sometimes the girls won't understand the level of humor that you're operating on. Like try this, go to a not so hot girl and say, "you're so mean. You're like lindsay lohan from that movie mean girls" She'll be speechless and almost get intimidated. Remember, to get out of your head and understand that girls, even hot girls do get nervous when you approach it. When you're learning this, you misinterpret her disinterest as her not into you, when in fact she is still very uncomfortable. Imagine what it's like to be her and she's walking down the street and some guy comes in and starts gaming her up. Dude, it's weird. We are all anomaly's, good anomaly's though. yet nonetheless anomaly's. Cold approaching especially street approaching is unheard of, not part of people's reality. Even coldapproaching. I've met some hot girls who have never ever slept with a guy off a cold approach. How does it happen normally? Friend of a friend. Then, there's social proof. Think about it, we're going in there with relatively zero social proof. Less your into getting ugs and prancing them around on your arm in hopes that the hotties will see you. Why not just go up to the hotties and let your vocals do all the work? Remember this too you need to offer value to the girl. Guys have problems going up to girls because in part they have nothing of value to offer the girls. But if you had a check in hotgirl's name for $1MM, would you hesitate? Hells no. Then have tons of value built into yourself. Look at any structure and essentially right after opening, there is an opening phase. A place for you to display that you have value by what I've found to be three things, your conversational abilities, your humor, and your level of intrigue (that is, is this person an interesting person with interesting things to say). Point is that you need to be able to add value to the situation. Free tactic. There are three types of adventure projections to use on girls. There's present, past, and future. We all know the future adventures projection, "you know what we're going to do, we're going to go on a mini-date to costco, etc, etc" There's past adventure projection, "how could you forget all the times we spend in barcelona together. I mean we were in such love, but yes, yes, I know I cheated with the room maid. I was such a pig back then, but rehab cleand me right up. But one thing I've noticed is that you can speak in third person, and it's a charming attract tactic. "Wow, I wonder if it would ever happen, that a guy wearing a jacked with a rainbow stripe (that's what I'm wearing) could ever meet a girl with a pretty green scarf (she's wearing a green scarf) . She'd probably try to hit on him, but he would resist. His virtues would hold him up" One last thing in closing, this shit is not over. This shit is not over. That same philosophy leads to people thinking "Oh my god, we're going to have world catasphre, oil is running out." Here comes hydrogen cars. People were saying that the book "the game" is going to change everything, but all it really did is drive more people to take bootcamps. I have yet to hear a girl say "oh, that's from that book" and it's not because I haven't done enough sets. I've done more than almost all you. It's simply because I'm so fucking congruent when I use an opinion opener. If there is testing, (rarely happens) then I literally make it seem like it's completely outside my reality "sweetie, you're giving me way too much credit. I'm not that smart." Then, I continue wiht the conversation. Remember, shit tests are only as big as you make them out ot be. They can be roadblocks. Or they can be speedbumps. That's it. Please flame me. --Geoff "click on the above ad"

Guide to the Dark Side of the Game

2005-12-14T08:18:00.000-08:00

JC Jerkson has a new post up on ASF "The Guide to the Dark Side of the Game." There's really nothing "dark" about it, but it is a good guide to some fundamentals which are what you should work on just starting off, before working on any more complex verbal skills. Check it out:

Originally posted by JC Jerkson The dark side of the game is a pathway to unlimited sexual power over women... To achieve this power you need to master sexual communication. Sexual communication is mostly communicated non-verbally. *MAVEC (mental arousal via eye contact) - Imagine making a girl horny simply by making eye contact with her. This is what MAVEC does. It's a seductive look into her eyes. When you look into her eyes you want to be thinking in your head "you have no idea how good I can make you feel." Also while doing MAVEC it's good to visualize you and her doing something sexual. You ALWAYS smirk when you use MAVEC. *Body Language and Proximity - No quick jumpy movements. Be completely relaxed. The closer your body is to hers while talking the better. Also, walk with a sexual confidence. *Smirking - A smile is FRIENDLY. A smirk is mischievous and sexy. Smile rarely. Smirk a lot. *KINO - You all know this already hopefully. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Now let's go into how sexual communication is communicated verbally. *Tonality and Pace of Voice - You should have a low and mischievous voice. Talk slowly. Never laugh really loud. You are trying to make her horny here. It's not what you say but how you say it. If you have strong dark side powers you can start a conversation with a stranger with almost anything and make her want you sexually. If you use routines you can throw them in the garbage you won't be needing them. Never worry about what to say to girls to break the ice. It hardly matters. "Hi my name's JC what's yours?". Or even "it's getting cold outside." A simple example for the correct tonality and pace of your voice is this: Imagine you get super lucky (just kidding!) and you are making out with some chick. You've probably taken a few short breaks in between makeout sessions. During these short break you two exchance a few words. What is your voice like? Is it high pitched like you're at a party? No. It's very sexy, seductive, and mischievously playful. That's how you should always talk. *Sexual Innuendos - Sexual innuendos are good. Girls love wit. Sexual innuendos are things you say that have a double meaning. And that double meaning is something sexual. When you practice with this a lot sexual innuendos will become second nature to you. An example: You and some chick are about to watch a DVD at your place. You're showing her a new dvd player you got. You put in a dvd and say while giving MAVEC "it's a perfect fit. Slides right in." Seriously you can make sexual innuendo out of anything. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ When I look at my past lays and successes with women I've always tapped into the dark side. C&F is great too. In my experience I have found that it's easier to use the dark side if you work out and exercise everyday. Also, you should improve your looks as much as possible. Use this knowledge and make girls horny as hell for you. JC

Detailed review of a theApproach bootcamp

2005-12-05T07:46:00.000-08:00

I've gotten a bunch of questions lately asking me about my experience with theApproach, what they're bootcamps are like, etc. I found this review by searchlight on ASF, and I think it's the best description anybody has ever written of a theApproach program. Anybody who's thinking about taking a workshop should check it out. ----------------------- Review: "theApproach Standard Bootcamp" Instructors: Sebastian Drake (Dimitri) and Vincent DiCarlo (Woodhaven) September 30th-October 2nd Boston, Massachusetts I took theApproach two months ago, and it was AMAZING for me. I got experience it would've taken me years to get on my schedule, and I'm making lots of progress. I've been meaning to get this review out for a while now but I've been too busy between work and the new girlfriends I've picked up! MY STORY: I'm 28 years old and have never really had problems getting relationships. I know there's some guys here who haven't had any success and I feel for them but it's not really me. Since I was a teenager I've had a pattern. I'd have a few one night stands then I'd get into a relationship. When I broke up, I'd have a few more hookups and then get into another LTR. I just never really had the choice I wanted. If it doesn't just work out I never really knew how to make something happen. So about two years ago I get into DYD. I get good reactions from women by being cocky and funny and teasing and busting but I wasn't really getting laid more. I lurked here for a long time and practiced player guide, routines, patterns, along with cocky and funny and some other things. I was subscribed to the DYD interview series and listened to them religiously. Why I took a workshop: I was getting good reactions but I wasn't getting laid as much as I wanted. I've got a busy life with work and can't get out and sarge as much as I'd like to, so I decided to do the best thing I could to get better and take a program. I wanted more choice, I wanted to be able to approach more women in areas I was confused about how to before, and I wanted to get better conversation skills. Expectations / Goals: I chose "theApproach" because I'd been a follower of Woodhaven's and Dimitri's posts and like them. Transition to Natural Game and LR: Oriental Hot Tub House of Sex are still my favorite two posts. Coming in I expected good PUAs but I was hoping they were good teachers too. Between Woodhaven and Dimitri they had more lay reports than any other company's whole set of instructors, more than TD and Papa, more than Mystery and Style, more than Badboy and Shark. But could it be taught? I hoped so. I wanted to see real PUAs close up and get hands on advice. I really wanted to get this part of my life handled and have an adventure doing it. BOOTCAMP DAY 1 I was surprised when I met Sebastian on the first day of the bootcamp. He didn't look like what I expected a PUA to look like. He had long hair and was wearing ripped jeans, a green tshirt, and a pair of dirty timberland boots. He introduced himself and we started talking. We discussed my background and goals, then Sebastian explained that the way to improve in anything has two parts, attitudes and execution. It made a lot of sense. Without any training in seduction, behavior comes from beliefs and habits. Development of good attitudes is somewhat random because no one has control over the first few years of their life which is when many of the beliefs form BUT it's possible to change your attitudes just like it is to change your technique. Attitudes alone won't get the best results because of HABITS. Habits are poor execution left over from when you had poor attitudes. Execution is also technical details like not approaching from behind the woman because she can get freaked out a little bit, and lastly execution covers some isolation / escalation / logistics stuff. So far Sebastian knew what he was talking about. It was a little similar to what some people would call Inner Game and Outer Game. I liked that the program was going to focus on both parts instead of just one. But I was a little skeptical that having learned this model was going to really help me personally, in some ways it was basic. That's when Sebastian started teaching about Attitudes and Execution Imbalances. Wow. I started to understand a lot of the problems I had with my pickups from a long time ago. Attitudes / Execution imbalances are when you feel empowered but have poor technique, or have solid technique but no attitudes to back it up. What I used to have was some techniques that work okay but after getting into a relationship I'd let them go and my relationship would AFC itself out. That's because the attitudes weren't right for me. Sebastian said "You can't run a ten year set." I got it. Eventually techniques would run out or something would come up I didn't know how to handle. It's happened to me before and it can be depressing when it happens. Everything's going perfectly then BLAM! Something weird happens and the girl is never seen again. We talked about attitudes for a while after that. Perfect attitudes from birth will mean very good execution but attitudes can be learned as well. The two most important categories of attitudes are beliefs about women / society and beliefs about yourself. Beliefs about women Sebastian said are things that most men are wrong about. It's possible to actually learn what women really think and how they act. Mainstream society "lies" to men about what women are really thinking and what they really want. I already knew a lot of this stuff but I did pick a few new things. The part that was really beneficial for me was looking at my own beliefs. I had a discussion and did some exercises with Sebastian that made me realize just how lucky a woman would be to have me. My eyes were totally opened up and it was very cool. I felt really empowered and, two months later, I feel even MORE empowered. It didn't fade away, wasn't a "workshop high". It was a real change that Sebastian started in motion. Sebastian went over some execution (technical) stuff. He said you can focus on attitudes or execution a lot of times, but doing both together is the most effective way. The example he gave was body language. Seb said that if you believe you're the most valuable person in the room and that you focus on being very relaxed and comfortable (this is like being alpha in the badboy style) then that'll fix your body language. OR you can make technical corrections and fix your body language without changing your beliefs or focus. The best way to do it is a mix of both the technical corrections and the attitudes / focus. We then got into the basics of conversation. Or should I say the FUNDAMENTALS of conversation because it's so necessary and yet I didn't have a clue. I thought I did, but I knew NOTHING and I'm an active reader of ASF and have gotten some products in the past. This is where Sebastian and theApproach blew me away. Sebastian started talking about "Situational Relevance" which is the basis of all conversation. While many guys go over direct and indirect to no end, Situational relevance explains it all. "What you open with has to be relevant to the current situation." This made a lot of sense to me. You can go direct anywhere as long as it's situationally relevant, you can go indirect anywhere as long as it's situationally relevant. Sebastian gave good examples of both. If a woman is walking quickly through the mall, stopping her to ask for a female opinion is not as sitrel as a more direct approach. Walking through a group of cool people in a bar to ignore everyone else and go direct on one HB is also not "SitRel" as it could be. You can get away with these but it's harder. Knowing what style of opener to use in a situation and being comfortable with all types is the easiest way to be able to get laid anywhere. Sebastian's explanation of situational relevance explained more to me about direct and indirect than anything I've read on ASF. It's a simple concept but we went over what would be "Sitrel" for all of the common situations. It allows for a lot of flexibility. Also I don't want to put words into Sebastian's mouth, he wasn't teaching "direct" and "indirect". His basic opening styles included genuine interest, implicit direct, situational, true indirect, and nonverbal / playful. Genuine interest: This is a specific kind of "direct" that's very sitrel. It's a certain type of compliment that demonstrates high value on your part and starts a "mutual value escalation" (more on mutual value escalation later). It's more sitrel than just "direct". Sebastian explained that the way to use direct isn't to just make direct pickup lines, it's to make it a really intimate experience. While a direct pickup line could work sometimes, a few little changes can make make direct more relevant and have it open much better. Implicit direct: Simple understated openers. These aren't really "sexy" per se but they work quite well. They're basic universal openers that say you're there for the woman without expressly saying it. These come down to execution since your eye contact, body language, tonality, and facial expression have to be good to get these to work. Situational: Sebastian helped me as he calls it "train up my player mind". Since then I've become much better at seeing little things happen in the world around me to open on. These aren't usually scripted, you use them as opportunities come up. But it is possible to make openers that look situational and can them up. The cologne opener that you probably already know is an example of something that looks like a situational opener even though it's canned up. True indirect: This is pretty well defined already. This is where you ask for an opinion or something else about her. Sebastian said the attitudes behind true indirect aren't that you're hiding, and credited TD with a good quote: "I don't go indirect to give myself an excuse to talk to the chick. I go indirect to give the chick an excuse to talk to me." True indirect needs a sitrel pace, as in pace and lead, as you open to make it work well. Nonverbal / Playful: This stuff is CRAZY to see live. You can open a chick by looking at her a certain way, gesturing to her, or even stealing an accessory from her and putting it on! I won't write too much on these because as Sebastian said himself, doing these wrong are pretty potentially problematic. Don't try this at home kids. It was cool because it was very indepth but also easy to understand. I love the options it gives me, and opening has gone from one of the weakest parts of my pickups to one of the strongest parts. We then talked a little about how Sitrel worked in conversation. The tech for building conversations was really good too. I learned a really great way to stack openers if I had to without seeming weird, or how to have an opener that wasn't working stick. Behind this situational relevance stuff Sebastian did a good job breaking down what everything meant and how it worked. For every technique, he gave what attitudes it showed, what the right mental focus is when you do it, and he had exercises for me to learn it hands on. We did body language and it was also very comprehensive. Sebastian said I had good body language (I have to in my profession anyway) coming in but he gave me a few pointers that were really good, including about facial expressions. Guys, I don't know how to explain this but let me tell you that facial expressions are HUGE. I wasn't even aware of the way I was communicating myself to some extent, and I appreciate Sebastian helping me fix this. He actually would periodically help me correct my body language / expression throughout the workshop and it was great because I was already starting to fix it before I left. The basics of their body language is the way you sit, stand, and walk are an external reflection of your attitudes. If you're in a really great mood after getting a pay raise or closing out a big contract or just won a competition, you'll have good body language. If you are feeling blue, sad, down, feeling sorry for yourself you'll naturally have bad body language. So if you change your body language people will perceive you and treat you differently. Sebastian said it's a cycle. You look better so people treat you better. People treat you better so you feel better. Sebastian also said that 50% of the problems guys have with amogs are diffused if they have confident body language and a comprehensive image. We went over attitudes that go into body language and what your body language should demonstrate about you. The short version is it should show only good things and no bad things about you for the most balanced results, or you could tailor your body language to something specific. i.e. "Super alpha" body language demonstrates a lot of confidence and that you aren't afraid of anything. But it can also show that you're very arrogant and don't care about etiquette. This turns a lot of women on but it's not "universally attractive and some women might be turned off by larger than life guys. So it can be good but know what you're demonstrating with your body language. I learned how to demonstrate good things about myself and things to avoid. A couple points that were cool for me to see was the effect of holding my chin high so my nose is pointed in the air slightly. I actually feel a lot different and Sebastian gave me a little tip on how to fix it. Get a pair of sunglasses and set them low on the bridge of your nose, then tip your head back until you look right through your sunnies. Then your head's at an upwards angle and you'll notice if you bring it down. I tried it out a couple times and it works well, give it a try. After that Sebastian started talking about walking patterns with me and jazzed up my walk. I feel more comfortable and natural now with some of the adjustments we made. He gave me the theory behind walking patterns which was very interesting, and then we got up so he could demonstrate. We hit the streets and it was AMAZING to see this in action. Sebastian LITERALLY split crowds when he walked using what he called the "Gunslinging Walk". It's a mix of very slight hand gestures, eye contact, powerful body language, and walking with a purpose. It's very cool to see and even cooler to do. I've started doing it at the firm I work at and it even works there. Sebastian explained how he learned and developed the gunslinging walk and it was amazing. It's like how everyone moves out of the way for a very beautiful woman or a very powerful man. It's not because of who they are as people. It's because of how they carry themselves. I learned that. I never realized this dynamic existed, that less powerful people move for more powerful people, but it's SO TRUE and it's like my mind has opened to a whole part of the world that I never knew existed before. And now I can do it myself... it's nothing short of amazing. Sebastian and I gunslinged our way over to the local mall to meet Vincent (Woodhaven). When I saw Vincent I thought he looked a lot more like the traditional playboy. He had on a pair of designer jeans, a Hugo Boss belt, and a white linen shirt with lightly spiked hair. Sebastian introduced Vincent and I and then said he'd see me tomorrow when we started. Vincent took over where Sebastian left off in image. He did tonality with me and did an excellent job. Vincent used a couple terms from music in his teaching and it made a lot of sense. The basics of tonality are speak slowly, deliberately, make pauses, and stay legato. Legato is a musical term that means "smooth". While he's explaining this, I thought it was somewhat basic. But when we got into tonality exercises I realized I didn't speak as well as I thought I did. I always got by but after the program I find I speak more clearly, get my message across better and get more respect at work and from women. Later I told Vincent that I feel silly for thinking I had tonality down and it was basic and he said something pretty good. "People confuse basic and fundamental all the time." He went on to explain how in jazz, everyone wants to learn crazy techniques but all the master's do is the fundamentals really well. I did learn a lot of advanced technique too but looking back on that it was a powerful statement. When I got out of the workshop I really worked on my fundamentals and saw my pickups explode with life, then added some advanced technique in and it went well. After tonality we started talking about image. I had tried a lot of different things with my dress and accessories. I tried dressing "business", "rich", and "peacocking" but none really worked for me. When I talked with Vincent he listened and asked a lot of questions about what I wanted, then went about helping me set that up. Vincent himself is a stylish guy but he went the extra mile and had one of his girlfriends stop by, a very fashionable beautiful Asian American businesswoman. It's amazing that she's okay with him seeing other women and working the job he does. Seeing that was one of the first things that opened my eyes. She and Vincent (who is also very knowledgeable about fashion) helped me put together a couple really good outfits and I learned some basics about fashion and style. It's like I said in the PU for working professionals, I can't dress like a punk since I'm not a punk. 10 years ago I could've been a little more peacocky but I really like the image and style I started to put together on theApproach. I look very sharp. The thing that really surprises me is this actually helps me get younger women that I like AND I can pick up women older than me in their 30's. It's like embracing who I was and expanding on it got me very good results, not trying to go crazy and dress like a 16 year old skateboarder or try to dress all stuffy in a cardigan. As Vincent was teaching me and having his girlfriend help teach me too it was great seeing some relationship skills in action. He treats his girlfriend way different than I ever treated any of my girlfriends when I was AFC. It's like she enjoyed doing something that would really bother her if she was with a weaker man than Vincent. The whole time Vincent is really friendly and personable. That's another thing I like about theApproach guys. Both guys are brilliant and are walking encyclopedias of pickup information but they don't try to parade all their information and don't act all aloof. They don't try to look impressive nonstop and dominate every frame and thread. You can tell they're totally secure and don't need random gimmicks or have a really weird / schrill tone to call attention to themselves. They're not overly aggressive, they're not manipulative. Sebastian and Vincent were both always right there, helping me nonstop, but not cramming their own agenda down my throat. I really felt like they were there for ME, and they felt like hands-on mentors and friends. Not some weird aloof holier than thou guru. They had nothing to prove and that true power was obvious as I learned. I got my clothes and changed into some new ones that I really liked. Vincent's girlfriend left and he and I went to do some daytime street game. Vincent opened a hot chick, like an 8.6 that walked past us. He opened her while she was walking away from us, got her to stop, then she started walking with him! It was amazing, and after a few minutes, he got her phone number and came back to me. He explained that he'd have walked with her longer and instadated if he wasn't teaching. I was a little awed by this. I'd NEVER seen anyone do something like that in the daytime and Vincent became my new god of daytime pickup. He explained all the technical things he did which overlapped exactly with what Sebastian taught me earlier. These guys know their stuff. He had me fix my body language and walking, then quickly developed a few openers I could use. It was cool to get my own stuff in so little time (I can now do this on my own) and Vincent's stock stuff was really good. So I had options. In the next few hours, I did SO many approaches of all different kinds. Situations I thought I couldn't handle became easy. Women eating by themselves. Walking. Standing still. With friends. Without friends. Shopping. Not shopping. In coffee shops, the food court, stores. There wasn't that I didn't know how to approach that Vincent couldn't give me a way to. I felt much more confident with every approach. Some didn't open but none went poorly. No blowouts. A few were unresponsive but most were flattered. On the third approach I did I got into a 20 minute conversation and could've stayed longer but I wanted to get the most I could out of Vincent's teaching. After another very successful approach, Vincent taught me the basics of instadating and number closing. I learned more detailed versions of the tech later in the program but even the basics were good... My second approach after learning this stuff I instadated to Starbucks, then number closed. After every approach, Vincent gave me detailed feedback. He kept correcting my body language, which was really good. Now two months later my body language is FIXED, I don't even think about it any more but it works very well. He talked about my conversational threads and technical details. We worked on the pacing part of my openers and the situational relevance (sitrel) of conversation after that. Things began to fall into place smoothly. I left the first day with three phone numbers and lots of good experiences. Harsh blowouts = Zero. TheApproach has got some POWERFUL stuff. We took a dinner break and Vincent gave me a couple things to think about over the break and encouraged me to take notes of what I learned. I ate, cleaned up, and took a shower and got ready for nighttime. I came early to meet up with Vincent for nighttime training and to my pleasant surprise Sebastian was there. He was off the clock and said he likes the effort I'm putting in so he'll come clock some time. I really appreciated that. He said he likes to do this for dedicated students since having two instructors on one person can really help, but often if he has a student himself he can't do it. I was lucky Sebastian and Vincent were both available, it was awesome having them both at once. Before we went in Sebastian went over nighttime focus. So many guys focus is on "winning" or just getting laid that they forget you need to have fun and enjoy the process. So he said my focus wasn't to "hunt", don't give off a "hunter vibe". But after remembering to have fun and be social it's good to make connections and see if she can improve my life. And if she meets my standards of course I can take her number or take her home. But my goal shouldn't be to scout out, find HB, run game, and hurry up and close! Need to have fun during the learning process, which I definitely did. I took a cue from Sebastian, who just seems like he's always having fun. He and I talked about baseball on the cab ride over and come to think of it, he kind of reminds me of Manny Rameriz. He's one of the best hitters in pickup but he's always having a good time, kind of eccentric, and doesn't play by anyone's rules. Totally awesome guy. Meanwhile Vincent is a contrast, he's all business. He looks like the DEVIL, like you could imagine someone selling their soul to him for cheap. Sebastian's got long messy hair and Vincent's got short spiked hair. Sebastian looks all pleasure, Vincent looks all business. And they both get laid likes foxes. I took what I like from both of them. I like Vincent's sharp look, business appearance. I like Sebastian's lighthearted conversation. He comes across totally laid back whereas Vincent can be a little intimidating to people since... he's the devil. I took a little from both and they helped me find stuff that worked for me. I really like how they didn't push their own personal style and try to make me a clone of them. I'm my own man and like to feel like my own man. They had AMAZING stuff going for them that I could model but they also helped me find stuff for me personally. But they weren't trying to act like they used everything either. Sebastian was humble, saying a couple times "It doesn't get the best results for me, but XXX PUA friend of mine does..." giving lots of credit to his friends and other seductionists and helping me find stuff that works for me. Very cool. We go out to a busy bar with two dance floors and three or four bars. $10 a drink joint, bad place to get drunk, good place to meet HBs. We walk in and Sebastian punches me on the arm and says he'll leave me in Vincent's able hands for a couple minutes. He then goes to a group of four pretty good looking guys in the corner, makes a couple wild gestures (he later explained he was telling them to get up and move and meet people) then sits down and he's their new best friend. I look at Vincent and he just shrugs like he's given up on Sebastian. They had such an awesome dynamic, I'd love to have such amazing chemistry with a wingman. Vincent sends me to open a two set. I go implicit direct and it opens up. I start conversing trying to be sitrel and it's going okay. It starts to stall out a little and Vincent comes in and wings me. He comes in cool, tells me to introduce him to my friends (the girls). I do and he takes over the conversation for a minute, before taking the "obstacle" (yeah right, she was hot too!) a foot away and it's back on with my girl. I see Sebastian in the distance. He's left the group of corner guys and is hanging with a huge black guy. HUGE. Sebastian is around six feet tall, but this guy is half a head taller. Vincent's closer to my height by the way, five or six inches shorter than Sebastian. My set's going well and I feel really pumped but I want to get in more practice. I #close and it works very smoothly. Vincent comes off with me and says he's going to use the men's room, go walk past there and points in Sebastian's direction. Sebastian's now with a group of black people, big guys and a couple black girls (not my type but objectively all 7.5+, probably higher if my type). Vincent says just walk by and Sebastian will grab you. Vincent goes to the men's room and I do as he says, and sure enough he knows Sebastian WAY too well. He calls "Searchlight" over to me as I walk by and then introduces me to everyone and tells me to sit down. I listen for a bit and then jump into the conversation. Watching Sebastian work is amazing. Everything he says would sound like a masterpiece to an aspiring PUA but sounds totally natural to everyone. I mentioned that to him later and he said it's solidly cultivated attitudes and applied situational relevance. There's more to it than that but now after my program, I start to get into that "zone" that Sebastian was in. We talk for a while and it's fun, then we head off to the bar. Sebastian asks if I'm having fun. I say yes. He says so look like it! with a big toothy smile. He then says he's going to introduce me to a friend of his. He brings me to this big black guy in a wheelchair and introduces me to him. Sebastian asks how he's doing and they talk about how it's too bad this outdoor club has closed down for the year for a minute. Then they start talking about girls. The guy has LOTS of game. He starts talking and he's saying stuff like "Yeah this bitch over here wants to buy me a drink but I better slow down, and there's this Asian bitch on the other side the club and I'm going to go get her number in a bit." I talk with the guy a while and it's amazing that he's so shameless about the game he's got and so confident. After a while he says he's going to go get "that Asian bitch's number" and he wheels off. "Fucking love that guy. Realest guy in the club" says Sebastian. He talks to me about attitudes and execution a little and says that the guy we just met had his attitudes on just fine. Then solid execution. It made a lot of sense. I saw the guy later in with women and they love him even though they're standing above him. After seeing that guy I realized no one had any excuses. And Sebastian told me stories about how the guy has gotten all race of women. I saw him running game later and it's the real deal and pretty amazing. Sebastian also explained how focus determines success. "How many white guys here are going to talk to a random black guy in a wheelchair in the club? Well it just so happens that he is the COOLEST guy in this entire club. He always knows where the party's at, hell of a wing if you need one, and he's got game. I swear that guy alone's gotten me laid a couple times. Cool cat." I took that advice to heart. My "amog perspective" started to change and now it totally has. The last chick I laid, HBPlayboyBunny a solid 9, was largely because her friend's boyfriend and I were cool and on the same side. On day 2 the guys taught me a lot of technique for talking to people in general but where I really learned it was with the guy in the wheelchair. Vincent rejoins us and we hang for a minute. I'm having a really fun time, really comfortable, learning a lot. Sebastian and Vince are really cool and aren't pressuring me nor are they letting me just sit there. We have fun and talk for a while amongst ourselves (and still look cooler than everyone else doing it). Sebastian walks off and stops in with the group he introduced me to earlier, talks to them for a minute or two, then bounces off into a two set of two hotties. Vincent says go in and join the Sebastian in a social way, i.e. no genuine interest or "direct" after Sebastian is already in. He says give all your attention to Sebastian and face your body language to him as you open, show him more respect than the women. I do and they open right up to me and are cool. We all relax and chill out a bit. In a minute, Sebastian is sitting down, and then his chick sits down, and then me and the other chick down. He explained to me later that he was moving a little bit at a time as he talked and interacted, just a tiny little bit, and the girl just followed. In his model of attraction that'd be the effort component. We're sitting relaxing, when Sebastian leans over the table and whispers to me Sebastian: You like these girls? Not my type man. SL: WHAT? What IS your- Sebastian: Shhhhh easy. Sebastian turns to the women and frowns. Sebastian: He says you two is alright. The chicks look at each other, look at Sebastian, look at me, look at Sebastian again, look at each other again, and then Sebastian says something else and it's forgotten. WEIRD experience there, it's like women can't handle certain stuff or something. We stay in set and talk and I manage to hold my chick and hear a lot of what Sebastian's saying which is really good stuff. After a while he leans across the table and says to me to talk for a couple more minutes so it's sitrel, then grab her number and kiss her on the lips. I got a little nervous, but he goes back to his chick and she's staring straight into his eyes like a deer in the headlights. I talk for a while longer then do a number close Vincent taught me earlier. As I get her number, Sebastian stands up, takes his girl by the hand, and moves her so that the girls are standing back to back but are also a few feet apart and can't see each other at all. He later explained that he didn't want her friend to be worried about being seen kissing you and the conspiracy thing is a good thing. I lean towards her. And we kiss! That was pretty incredible. I say goodbye and walk with Sebastian, and I'm starting to get a little excited when he smiles a big smile and says they're still watching. No don't look. Sebastian's smile just disarms everyone, it's like he's a kid in a candy shop, so even if he's about to bust someone you know he's on your side. After we turn a corner he slaps me on the back and says I'm a pro. Vincent joins us and asks Sebastian if he's going soft and turning to the dark side. Sebastian says "We on the clock playboy, we need to give quality instruction!" with a big laugh and that big smile of his. Vincent laughs and I ask Sebastian the deal. He says they weren't his type and that he's just socializing and making sure I meet people. My jaw drops a little, those two were total hotties. I really like how Sebby and Vin don't take themselves too seriously. There's a mix of hands on great instruction and leading by example. And they live the dream too, having fun and being social. They look like the kind of people you want to know which is exactly what they told me to be. We did a couple more pickups that were good. At 2 AM I was worn out but had a great day and had learned a lot of stuff. BOOTCAMP DAY 2: I went for only one night of nighttime since I'm comfortable in bars (got a LOT better at them though) but didn't have much of a day time game. Since Sebastian and Vincent are known and respected for their day time game I thought I'd go for it. I was again in for a treat in that I had both Grandmasters Dimitri and Woodhaven for day 2. People signing up shouldn't expect this super V.I.P. treatment but they are quality guys who really care about their students learning, so don't be surprised if they go out of their way to help you out, especially if you work hard and want it. It was AWESOME having both Sebastian and Vincent for day 2, because they alternated topics and both had a lot to say. The first thing was Sebastian started off by doing an outline of conversation. We quickly reviewed situational relevance from the day before, then jumped into verbalizing vs. demonstrating. The idea is that you can SAY anything (verbalize) as long as you're only DEMONSTRATING good things. Sebastian gave me two examples of this. The basis of storytelling is that stories must be sitrel and shouldn't demonstrate bad things about you. Demonstrating good things is optional. Also, often verbalizing really good things about yourself can demonstrate bragging and insecurity. We talked more about how to tell good stories and Sebastian gave me a few kinds of stories from his own life. The first were crazy stories, like amazing stuff that few people have done (I've done some crazy stuff like some of it so it's not too alien to me). The second set of stories he told me were really simple, like how he ate out at a restaurant with a few friends and a few funny things happened. Observations of people helping each other in the world around, seeing a mother and kid play or talking about his own family. He went on to say that the second set of stories isn't "sexy" like some routines are, but they get the job done often better. They demonstrated good things about Sebastian but wasn't like he was making a big deal out of it or trying to brag. I won't post Sebastian's stories onto the internet so his stuff doesn't get sunset-stripped (Game readers you know what I mean, Sebastian's stuff is that good). This is actually one of the places I think there's misconceptions about Sebastian Drake, Vincent DiCarlo, and theApproach. They're known as the natural game guys so people assume they don't have routines or stories. This just isn't really true. After meeting and hanging out with them, I'd say they don't depend on them. I don't either now, I can generate material as I go. But they've got LOTS of good stuff if they need it, and I think that's something that natural-gamers could stand to learn. Natural game and stories are compatible, but making wild routines sitrel can be a hassle and doesn't accomplish as much as a simple understated story that shows you're some combination of perceptive, worldy, compassionate, intelligent, masculine, and / or a leader among other things. That's one thing I learned. Natural game doesn't mean anti-routine or anti-indirect. Those things all work fine but they're just not taught that well on the internet which is where I think some of the confusion comes from. Both Seb and Vin were very capable at these things and I hope other people more focused on that area would be too, even if it doesn't translate well online. After the basics of story telling Vincent did screening and qualification. Screening is used for two things, to increase her perception of your value because she'll think you've got standards and won't just take anything. Second it increases the effort she puts in to get you, and as she meets and passes your tests she's going to feel she deserves you more and more. Screening can make you seem unattainable though, especially if you have high value, so you qualify afterwards to keep her think you're catchable. Vincent talked about real vs. false screening, which is where you actually screen her out if she doesn't meet your standards, or ask questions that just appear to screen where you're going to approve and qualify either way. He said both are useful and worth learning. If you're just looking to get laid, you can false screen which helps with your value and getting her to put in effort. If you're looking for quality MLTRs you should do some real screening. Screening has to be sitrel too of course. Vin taught me how to do that, and then we did some really, really awesome exercises to start developing my own screening questions. This was another part of the program I really, really liked. I can now phrase the most normal questions in a way where women feel like there's a right answer and if they get it wrong they could be in trouble. It's helped my relationships SO much, not just sexual relationships but also work relationships. Especially with my secretary, believe it or not. We then took a lot at qualification. Also should be sitrel, and needs to fit the situation. Vincent obviously was quite good at screening / qualifying. He went through some of his stock qualifiers and then helped me develop my own. We went through a specific kind that's good for attainability and work called the "special advantage" which takes care of deservedness across the board and is AWESOME to be able to do. We went from qualifying into a specific kind called cold reading, which Vincent went over. Stuff on good cold reading is the one thing that can be read about in good detail on the internet. Vincent gave the example of astrology as a cold read. Vince did a really good job showing how to make random cold reading sound situationally relevant. We then got into INTENTIONS MAPS which were a great technique that's not been released by the Approach except on programs at all. I feel like I was getting some secret weapons here. The idea behind intention maps is you can actually plug specific screening, qualifying, and cold reading into your pickups to get different desired outcomes. The exclusive girlfriend intention map cultivates loyalty and devotion. The open relationship cultivates independance, non-possessiveness, and open-mindedness. One night stand Intention Map is all adventure and sexuality. And there's custom intention maps. The fascinating one that Vince spoke on was Reverse Supplication which is getting women to supplicate to you / spend money on you. It's like black magic though, totally evil stuff and should probably not be shared with the world. Vincent is in fact the Devil. Intention maps were really, really helpful though. The thing I liked is that you only need to change a few different things to get a really different end result. It also turned on a lightbulb for me and I realized why I'd become an "LTR guy". I'd basically been running an "LTR intention map" unintentionally. Unintentionally running an intention map, lol. Sebastian explained why qualification, screening, and cold reading can affect behavior so much. First was Cialdini's congruency principles. The other is more obvious and less scientific: If something makes someone feel good, they won't want to stop doing it. So you can qualify women on things that aren't 100 percent true and it'll make them more like that. So if you tell her you really like how she's independant and doesn't demand too much of your time, she's not going to want to throw that in your face later by throwing a fit when you don't see her enough (that qualifier has been great for me, I need it because I work long hours). You can also screen for behavior she might not really have but if she wants you, she'll say she's got it. So you can ask about having balance in her life and she might lie and say she does, but then she'll want to appear more balanced. Same thing with wild / adventurous. She might not be really wild, but after she says she is she wants to live up to it. After screening and qualifying we got into spontaneity. This is something I didn't think could be really developed. I thought you were either spontaneous or you weren't before taking the bootcamp. I was wrong. Vincent started teaching why spontaneity is so useful and important. You need it to improvise super quick lays. You can't have enough "material" ready for a years long relationship. And if anything ever happens that kills your canned stuff, you can always fall back on spontaneity. We did some spontaneity building exercises, including one that went towards infinite conversation material. It was REALLY good, and gave me some instant skills. Now two months later, I can spin conversations as easily as I want. I know how to easily cut threads in a sitrel way so it's not weird. Vincent then taught me about the Continuous Flow of Action. It's when everything is going well, it could be called being in "the zone". The CFA is less about doing things right than about things not going wrong. There's no awkward pauses, there's no weird moments, just the woman and you locked in together. On her part, her logical mind will disengage and she'll just feel emotions with you. You need to not overanalyze or overthink, and especially not look for approval. "Waiting for the right moment" can also break a continuous flow of action, so you need to let go and just get in there. On the workshop this made a lot of sense but I really got an understanding of it when I was practicing. I really got into a continuous flow of action when I picked up and sameday laid my primary HBBrunette two weeks after the workshop. Vincent went over what conversational threads help and what don't. We did some thread management stuff which was interesting and useful. We did a couple more exercises and then it was break time before fieldwork. Vincent and Sebastian and I all went out to lunch which was cool, I appreciate those guys hanging out with me off the clock. We went to get steaks, and there was a really cute blond waitress, solid 8 easy. As we talked and had lunch I got to see Sebastian demonstrate, literally three feet in front of me, how to pick up a waitress. It was awesome, and he would do something, then teach me. CRAZY to see live, and very lucky that I got to spend time with them on break AND we had a hot waitress. Nice. Sebastian explains the rules right after he does them. 1. Get it out of the the customer relationship. When HBBlond came up to serve us, she introduced herself. Sebastian introduced himself back, and me and Vincent with that big smile of his. 2. Get back in the customer relationship and flirt in it. Sebastian starts asking her about a couple of menu items, then orders "Pink lemonade, two limes" in a silly way. After she left he explains he's flirting in the professional context now. When she comes back he asks what the "absolutely best most awesome thing here" is, and says "That, I want that" after the first thing she says. He went back and forth, not flirting with her all the time. He'd flirt with her when she came over once, then the next time he was deep into conversation with Vincent and I about travelling through Eastern Europe. He was talking about a nightclub in Poland when our waitress came back and he TOTALLY ignored her. Then the next time back, he's really warm to her again. It's messing with her mind, you can see her falling for him. We finish eating and pay, and walk outside. Sebastian says, "Wait here I have to use the men's room." Vincent smiles and Vince and I talk for a few minutes before Sebastian walks out tucking a piece of paper into his back pocket. I ask him what's that and he takes it out and shows me HBBlond's number written on the piece of paper before tucking it back away, and explains that the last step is being discreet. If she thinks you're trying to impress your friends or that she could get in trouble she won't be #closed. So Sebastian goes back in alone. He said he always walks out with whoever he's with and then walks back in, because for some reason people often can't follow simple directions to just walk outside. I can see what he means, a lot of the times I'll tell my girlfriend I'll meet her at the car and go to the bathroom, and then she's waiting right outside the bathroom. It's amazing how Sebastian knows every little contingency, you can see how he's got all this experience and game and has been in all these situations before. When he's talking to women, nothing shakes him and nothing impresses him. He draws people to him, takes over their interactions and dominates them but in a good way. Vincent and Sebastian both did this actually but very different ways. Sebastian seemed to enjoy talking, was high energy a lot, and when he wasn't talking he was very "chill". Vincent on the other hand has this just really evil presence about him, like he corrupts hot young women. Like he could just wave his hand and you'd be supremely powerful. I really, seriously think Vincent DiCarlo is the Devil Himself, and his game is that good too. Vince doesn't talk anywhere near as much as Sebastian, but people just start rambling to him like they would to their boss or the principle, meanwhile he's sitting there with his skeptical evil expression on. For the record though, both guys were GREAT instructors and very personable, friendly, and encouraging to me, this is more about thier general personalities than their teaching styles. The fieldwork on day 2 really rocked. It was great to have two instructors working with me. Having just one of the guys would have been great, having both was amazing. The very cool thing was I got to see demonstrations with real time breakdown from the other instructor. Sebastian demonstrated on a seated chick and Vincent explained the first 5 to 10 minutes of what Sebastian was doing until she was totally in Sebastian's world. Sebastian came away with a number after 15 minutes, letting me know he'd have spent longer if he wasn't teaching. I really liked that style. They did demonstrations but didn't pass them off as "the whole system". In three days there's only so much time but the guys let me know to push my stuff as hard as I can. Sebastian had a saying "Fail by doing" he said a few times. He said most people fail by never trying, and never know what they could have done. He tries to fail by giving it his all and doing everything he can to get it done. He encouraged me to try to same day lay women I meet, and the encouragement and honesty was a big part of 2 of my 3 post bootcamp lays. Sebastian and Vince then turned it around, and Vincent demonstrated AGAIN on a girl walking the opposite way with Sebastian giving real time breakdown. We were walking not far behind them and Sebastian explained what Vincent was talking about roughly along with why Vincent was walking a certain way, how he was closing space, and then how he and the girl were touching each other. We walked behind them for a good while, when Sebastian calls Vincent. It was funny to see Vincent look at his phone and answer, and for Sebastian to be talking to Vince when they were in seeing distance of each other. Sebastian explains how Vincent is #closing as he does, and Vincent joins us again. He comes back and breaks down the specifics of what he said. Sebastian roughly outlined where the conversation was going, Vincent comes in and fills in the blanks with the exact words, and things made a lot of sense. I knew almost exactly the lineup of what words were said at what times which would be hard to get normally. We go back and I start doing my fieldwork. I do ALL sorts of approaches. I do seated, standing still, moving, with friends, groups of people, girls with their boyfriends! Sebastian gives me a quick explanation of opening percentages and closing percentages. The idea is that certain types of approaches are better logistically and you'll literally get laid more off them. Some of the highest opening percentage / closing percentage stuff isn't flashy at all, but it gets you laid. That was the case with my first lay after the workshop HBBrunette. Not flashy approach but solid and laid her same day. I do a seated approach with Sebastian's default seated opener, and get into screening and vibing. We talk for 30 minutes and then she says she has to go and I say goodbye. Vincent asks me why I didn't her her number and I said she said she had to go. He explained to me what her body language was, and it was that she wanted to be closed. He gave me breakdowns of what I did right and wrong and sent me into another seated set with the goal of instadating. I was able to, moving her to a coffeeshop near by. Things were going well. We did LOTS of fieldwork and I've since done lots more fieldwork so I don't remember all the details from it, but either Vince or Sebastian was there at all times and often both of them. They gave me encouragement and great feedback, explaining what the women did and what it meant, and little adjustments I could have made. Day 2 of the program was ending when Sebastian asks if I have dinner plans. I said no and he invited me out with Vincent and him for dinner. He said he was really proud of where I was going and how hard I was working, and he'd be honored if I joined him, his girlfriend, and some other friends for dinner. I of course was excited to see Sebastian with his girlfriend since I wanted to see how he handled his relationship. Vincent was going too, with a different girlfriend this time. We meet her first, she's a HOT Russian / Italian SHB, amazingly hot. Model hot. Long hair, really cute face and perfect figure. Vincent greets her with a kiss, and we head to a very cool restaurant in Chinatown. We go to a big circular table in the back, it's the best table in the place. Sebastian introduces me to his girlfriend and she's an AMAZINGLY beautiful Chinese woman. I don't really like Asians but she is HOT. She's wearing a tight white dress and has her up and back and a pair of high heels on. She's taller than Sebastian in her heels and just amazingly beautiful. Sebastian said later he'd have to turn me on to Asian girls and I didn't know what I was missing. Also at dinner at Sebastian's girlfriend's sister, who was also really pretty, the sister's boyfriend who was a big Mediterranean guy in a business suit with long hair and a very Italian name. At dinner it was great seeing the relationship dynamics. Vincent's girlfriend's English was poor and he would be talking to her very slowly, very sexually. Sebastian's girlfriend spoke very good English but he would tease her about it and speak to her in Chinese throughout the meal. Sebastian said something in Chinese at one point and everyone that spoke it laughed, and his girlfriend asked what girl he learned it from. He rolled his eyes and leaned over to me saying "They think I speak girly Chinese." Vincent laughs. Sebastian tells me later that he has actually only learned Chinese from women he's slept with, so he DOES speak girly Chinese and that cracked me up. He said he tried to fix it but couldn't, then gave up when he realized it was good social proof. All throughout dinner it's very fun and light. Sebastian's girlfriend starts to complain about something a magazine wrote about her and Sebastian is like "Poor baby, you're the media and the media's not even good to you" and everyone laughs. Sebastian's girlfriend's sister turns to me and says that her sister is famous. Sebastian says "Yes, her blowjobs are world famous" and plays it off. (I did google her and was very surprised that Sebastian actually was going out with this woman, wow, and her sister wasn't exagerrating much) I asked him about it later and he said that if you bow down to status, it says you don't have it. He told me a couple stories of how really rich guys would try to pick his girlfriend up and she wouldn't budge. After a woman has lots of money, then being rich yourself is no longer value for her life. The reason very rich people wind up with other rich people is because they're COMFORATABLE with each other's money, they're not awed and don't act weird. Dinner's great. I learned a lot and the food was really good. We all ordered one dish and put it on a wheel in the middle of the table that let everyone try a little of everything. As mean as I made Sebastian sound towards his girlfriend he was very nice too. I could actually see how a lot of what he did was qualification. He'd say that the food was good, but not as good as what his girlfriend cooked. Meanwhile Vincent has his arm around his girlfriend. The guys were joking later that they have to be careful what girlfriends to introduce to each other's girlfriends, because they'll have to keep track of them and then it's harder to set each other with girlfriend's friends. I had a lot of fun. Everyone at dinner just acted sort of like a family, very comfortable with each other, but I could see little bits of the techniques I was taught in Vincent's and Sebastian's conversation. They were constantly playing the game with their girlfriends and it was obvious that their girls were still quite attracted. Sebastian's girlfriend paid for his dinner, Vincent's girlfriend also paid for his dinner. Funny to see, and the girls didn't complain or resist. It was just almost expected of them. It definitely changed my view on relationships. Here were these guys getting treated like kings by their girlfriends in all ways. I remember lots of times I'd take a girlfriend out to dinner and she'd behave terribly at dinner. Well no more, I learned a lot about relationship management from Vincent and Sebastian, both by watching them and from their teachings on day 3. BOOTCAMP DAY 3 I was scheduled just to have Vincent on day 3 of the program, but Sebastian came to help go over the full structure of a pickup. They went over the structure, taking turns explaining everything. It was very cool and effective. I liked it because it was extremely flexible but very clear. I now know exactly what my options are at any point in a pickup, but it's not extremely rigid. I've got guidance but I'm not shackled to someone else's method. Sebastian drew a flowchart that went over all the directions a pickup can go, and it was interesting. It was cohesive, with important fundamentals like situational relevance and attraction emphasized, but also covering most of the details that can come up. The structure of pickup they drew up gets women attracted and handles logistics from meet to lay. It's got technical details, and lots of troubleshooting. For every step, Vincent and Sebastian laid out what my focus should be (attitudes) and how to do it (execution). It was really great because I understood why I should do what I do. For instance my focus for genuine interest is that I see a woman who meets my visual standards, so I want to give her a chance to meet my standards and make a connection with me. On a situational opener, I'm being observant, social, and very spontaneous. They also laid out the technical details of how to approach, so all in all I knew how a very successful pickup artist thinks about a situation and how he acts. Very comprehensive. The section on difficult logistics was interesting. Vincent and Sebastian both of crazy stories of being in cities other than their own and needing crazy logistics. It hasn't come up for me yet, but it's useful to know how to find isolation in the daytime or in a city away from my own. The section meetups / dates was really good. Vincent went over the theory of good dates, and the components they have. Sebastian gave something like THIRTY examples of good venues to go on a date that can be mixed and matched for any date that goes 3 or more places. Sebastian also said something that made a lot of sense. The more venues you go to with a woman, the longer she'll feel she's known you. It's because if all your memories are in the same place, it seems like one big memory. With someone you've known forever you have lots of little memories. Phone game was a cool section, with some great rules on how to get her from the phone to in person painlessly. Vincent emphasized that talking to her on the phone much more than you've spent time with her in person can set up troublesome dynamics especially if you only spent a little time with her quickly before #closing. The most interesting thing from it was to call in no MORE than 72 hours. In the past I usually waited a few days so I'd seem busy and interesting, but Vincent and Sebastian said calling in the next day or two is ideal. The reason is people with busy lives forget each other quickly (if she's bored and has nothing going on your call will also be welcome). Sebastian said something here that really hit me. If you run bad game and she doesn't want to see you, it doesn't matter how long you wait before calling. If you are cool, make a connection with her, and make her work to please you, she'll be excited for the call. Vincent went over the no challenge switch. It's when the chick thinks she can have you at any time and so she makes no effort to get together or get things happening. One of the things Vince and Sebastian teach is that you need to seem attainable to her, but that doesn't mean flip the no challenge switch. We'd already covered basic kino throughout day 1 and day 2, but at this point I got a really detailed explanation of the three kinds of good kino from Sebastian. The three kinds of good kino are protective, playful, and incidental. "Protective" is any romantic-styled kino, including everything from holding hands to putting your hand on her back as you walk through a crowded bar to protect her. Playful is fun stuff, tickling and dancing together. Incidental is everything else, like walking closely together or sitting very close on the couch. Vincent then taught me kinesthetic sequence to get over ASD, as well as going over verbal solutions and how to pace it. I won't share this one so no one who misunderstands it will get in trouble but it was very comprehensive the way it was taught and I am very confident in getting through ASD and haven't had any problems with it since the end of the bootcamp. It was very powerful (of course it was, Vincent is the devil after all). Vincent and Sebastian explained relationships together, and this was AWESOME material. NOBODY has anything on these guys'relationship game. Vince and Sebastian have the hottest women and have these women bending over BACKWARDS to try to keep them. It's nothing less than amazing that I got to see this stuff, but the real test for me was putting it into motion myself. No problem, I've slept with three women since the end of my program, and ALL of them converted for me. Two mltrs, one fb. HBBrunette and HBPlayboyBunny both cook for me, HBBrunette and HBWaitress both help me clean now. All the women bring whatever alcohol over that I tell them to now. And the best part is when I'm ready to settle down again, I just shift from an open relationship intention map to an exclusive relationship intention map. The differences in execution are small and subtle, but easy for a trained pickup artist to see and apply. And the differences in relationships are BIG. It's great to do. Sebastian explained how to set expectations (which he called "drawing the battlelines" with his big smile) in a relationship. He spoke on it for a while, but one of the most important concepts was that you set up the relationship for quite a while based on the early in it. He said getting a woman into a relationship is like pottery. During the initial approach and pickup, you've got sand and clay, beautiful materials that you can craft. Throughout the pickup you add water, and after you have sex, it's like everything's ready to be molded. After being together a few months and having sex a while, the relationship is firehardened and it becomes very hard to change. The best time to affect a woman's behavior is in the window of the first half dozen times you have sex with her. I learned how to draw the battlelines after sex, including how to encourage good behavior, stop bad behavior, and make any woman feel more confident, comfortable, and sexual (which is KEY for a relationship). Vincent and Sebastian were both very mature and showed great knowledge of women and relationships, which was refreshing since as much as I like a quickie I want loyal relationships too. We talked about relationship maintenance. Sebastian's been with his primary girlfriend for two years, Vincent's been with his primary for almost three. They also both have other girlfriends, including the Vincent's mltr who helped me go shopping on day 1. He's been with her two years. Vincent talked about maintaining the lifestyle. This section was GREAT for me, since I work a busy job and don't have lots of time for pickup. I got some great tips from Vincent on little stuff to do to meet more women, as well as some larger points about how to keep from going insane with so many different women in my life (now that I've got three, I can start to see what Vince meant). They also talked about how to keep jealousy at bay, how to recognize when a woman is at "breaking point" meaning she'll leave / break up with you soon, and how to diffuse breaking point if it happens. There's always signs before a relationship ends, and you can stop it from happening if it's still a good relationship for you. Vincent and Sebastian then went over all the major concepts from the program, and answered all of my questions diligently. They have a great amount of knowledge, there's nothing I asked that I didn't get a great answer with practical examples and a couple techniques for. The field on day 3 was very good. I felt much more comfortable with myself and more confident. Sebastian explained how as you get better the world slows down more around you. It's like in sports, great athletes can see things differently and react faster. I saw that start to happen a little bit on day 3. Approaching was no problem. I did around a dozen approaches, and 3 out of every 4 were opening. The other 1 out of 4 weren't rejections, they were just neutral and I left still looking good without any harsh feelings or messy scene. I got 3 phone numbers and one kiss close on day 3 of the program during the fieldwork time. Sebastian daytime-winged me on a two set and it was a very fun time. I don't really have a schedule that's set for getting great rapport with a wing the way Sebastian and Vincent have with each other, but it was definitely fun to get into action with a top pickup artist in the daytime. And maybe the best part about it is we're INVISIBLE. We're not wearing blinking signs or using routines that've been published in big magazines. I feel like I've snuck into the enemey headquarters almost, I absolutely can't get caught doing what I'm doing. Even when I was winging with Sebastian, one of the ten best pickup artists worldwide, no one knew we were pickup artists. We were just well-dressed (Sebastian was wearing a red and black shirt, designer jeans, and wingtips on day 3) cool, fun guys that women wanted to get to know. We did fieldwork for a few hours, and it was very fun and I learned more. Putting the skills in action was great. After we finished up fieldwork, Sebastian and Vince answered a few more questions, gave me homework and exercises to continue to improve, and we parted ways. AFTER THE PROGRAM It's been less than two months since my program and I slept with three really hot chicks already (LRs posted). Things are going really well for me. The first two weeks after the program were actually rough for me. I wasn't getting the crazy results I expected and I got a little frustrated. But I religiously did the exercises Vince and Sebastian suggested, and then things got better. I laid HBBrunette and HBWaitress within a week of each other and laid HBPlayboyBunny on Halloween. Now I'm getting lots of numbers and have lots of women ready to go. My biggest problem now is finding time for all these new women. I'm glad I stuck with it, and put in those first weeks of work. If I hadn't, I wonder how good I would have gotten. I'd still have been better but my results are out of this world for me. A message for guys who take a program but don't get instant success: Keep going out! It's not really surprising that many people don't stick with it I guess. Most people can't stick to a diet for two weeks, or jog every morning for two weeks without giving up. But it is SO worth it! I'm a really busy guy and I found time to get out and do the exercises and homework I got on the program, and it really did it for me. There was nothing hard, it just took some time. The exercises were comprehensive and fun, had a goal of what to learn on it as well as what to do for best results. I'm very pleased in the results I got. I've got three new girlfriends and they treat me very well. I also get more respect at work and from people in the world around me. I feel really good and it was literally a life changing experience. THE SKINNY - GRADES for THE APPROACH Things in the community can be biased. There's a lot of products out there competing for your money and everyone's got a guru they worship. But these are a huge life change you're making. It can be quite expensive for some people, and much more importantly, you're choosing what behavior patterns to take on for maybe the rest of your life. You want a program that helps you forge the man you want to be, a man that gets women how he wants and that everyone respects. Since this is so important, I want to give you the good, bad, and ugly about theApproach so you can decide if it's good for you. THEORY / SEMINAR GRADE The theory / seminar portions were excellent. There was a mix of anecdotes, advice, science, and experience. They explained why things worked as well as what to do. Grade: A FIELD WORK I enjoyed the field work, and the guys were good. I appreciated having two guys both with me and they did do impressive work. I think it could have been a bit more organized and cohesive about goals for practicing when out in the field, but I do understand that a lot of it is random based on what women around out. Quality experience. Grade: A- INSTRUCTORS Sebastian and Vincent are both great guys, and both went out of their way to help me out and give me some extra time when they could. I appreciated it, and they were awesome guys that I felt really comfortable around. Grade: A+ PROFESSIONALISM The guys were respectful and excellent, but I think they could tighten up a few things here and there and establish clearly who will teach what section of their programs. This might only be because I had both Vincent and Sebastian on a one on one, which was of course a bonus. Grade: B+ HANDOUTS The only part of the program that I think could use more work. They've got SO much great content, but only four handouts that total seven pages. Sebastian and I stay in touch and he agreed he needed more and said he told me about the handouts he's developing. This has the potential to be an A+ grade since the guys have great material and the handouts they did give were designed really well, but they could use some more. Grade: B VALUE The price was somewhat steep, $1800 for me. The guys have since taken $100 off and added a $100 off early signup discount that's easy to get, so the value's only increased. Even with my price, I'd have to say it was very worth it. I've taken workshops for my profession and they didn't give me close to as much value. In my 3 day program, I got as many hours as many college courses give, and you all know how expensive they are. This was a life-changing experience and I'd say was rather priceless. Expensive to some extent but well worth it for me personally. Grade: A FOLLOWUP I got great, detailed homework from Sebastian and Vincent, including some detailed premade exercises and they helped me detail homework for myself. I had a question and emailed Sebastian, he got back to me in a few days with a really detailed answer. Sebastian and Vincent both seem to really care about me and teaching in general, and have gone to great lengths to make sure I get all I can. I've talked on the phone to Sebastian a couple times (not standard or to be expected, but he is a good guy) and theApproach is opening a student forum soon. Great followup with the potential to get better. Grade: A+ PROGRESS The biggest measure of if it was worth it: My results. Since the workshop, I've laid three beautiful women who are very differently people. A working professional, beautiful and stylish. A really fun, sweet waitress and a bartender / party girl. I've got all of them in open relationships and I'm doing a little bit of reverse supplication to get them to help out in my lifestyle. They don't really LIKE that I work so much but they deal with it better than my last girlfriend did. And they're surprisingly okay with me seeing other women. I do better at work. And most importantly, I feel healthier, happier, and more balanced. Grade: A+++ CONCLUSION Overall, it was a really great experience and great program for me. The guys were great teachers, great pickup artists, and really just great people. I really felt like they were my friends and cared about me, but they were also professional and stayed in a mentor role. Be ready to learn A LOT! My advice if you take a program is come in ready to learn a lot and make some real changes. Also DO the exercises after the program, they're really helpful. The results were amazing. TheApproach is the real deal and I think would be really suitable to both advanced guys and new guys. They're good at teaching skills for women but also for life skills. I feel more balanced and happier in my life, and I can't thank those guys enough. Highly recommended. Searchlight

Success, Momentum and Habits

2005-12-05T07:43:00.000-08:00

ijjji has a short but good post up on how to become good at pickup. He claims that the foundation of a good PUA is good habits supported by a good way of looking at the world. This will lead you to internalize your successes and disregard your failures emotionally, which will in turn lead to better habits and continue the cycle of success.

Originally posted by ijjji It seems that both success and failure run in self-re-enforcing circles: The Cycle of Success: Good Habit -> Momentum -> Result -> Belief -> Good Habit -> etc... The Cycle of Failure: Lack of Good Habit -> Lack of Momentum -> Lack of Result -> Lack of Belief -> Lack of Good Habit -> etc... ¤¤¤ What causes people to 'fall into' Cycle of Failure? -While having good habits, is it possible to lose momentum? I don't think so!! Habit is like 'long term momentum' and situational momentum can only drop so much from the long term default (habit), and will bump back soon after. -While having momentum, is it possible to get poor results? Now and then, yes. But mostly brief and due to external factors, so hardly enough to break Cycle of Success. -While getting results, is it possible to lose belief? Yes! This happens! Some people always look for the bad and are blind to their own good results. Also, external events/input can rob away belief, or distract people from seeing their results. -While having strong belief, is it possible to lose good habits? Yes, this happens alot. When successful, its easy to get distracted so you forget doing the things that lead to your success in the firs place. ¤¤¤ As long as you stick with good habits, it seems you will BOUNCE BACK into the Success Cycle, no matter what set-backs, distractions or challenges you meet... Good habits seem to be THE ENGINE of the car that drives you towards your goals. It seems that the weakest links in the Success Cycle are: Result -> Belief Belief -> Good Habit 'Recipe for Success' is my system for strengthening this part of the cycle. It works for me, but I'm sure there are better methods out there :) ¤¤¤ From 'Implementing a Habit' by TD: To me, it comes down to this: 1-Get an idea of what you want. 2-Formulate a plan of how often you need to show up to get there. 3-Accept that your new activity is a part of your life for the duration of the time you've decided, and never decide based on emotions if you're going to show up or not. Just show up. 4-Don't worry if you're getting results, just stick to the plan with blind faith, and make your criteria for success just to show up. 5-Make it a hobby, look at the details critically without taking advice dogmatically, and take the initiative to shift the focus of your training when your intuition tells you that it might help. Don't focus on chasing outcome. Focus on sticking to habits. Make your criteria for success if you stuck to the habit

Handling Social Pressure

2005-12-05T07:34:00.000-08:00

A big part of picking up women is being cool and calm under circumstances other people cannot. This ability comes from being in these situtions many times, and handling them successfully. TD wrote up a piece which I think is well written an illustrates the importantce of being immune to social pressure.

Originally posted by Tyler Durden I am sinking further underwater looking up at the boat floating on the surface. I sink deeper and deeper, waiting to drown. The pressure is mounting, but still I breathe and all is normal. I look up and see the sun shimmering down from above. It is getting smaller and smaller as I sink. I still hear the muffled sounds from the surface, but they are fading away. Why am I still breathing? It doesn't matter. This is just the way it is. There she is. The girl I want. She is surrounded by guys. The tall one has her full attention. He is very big. He is wickedly funny and his whole group hangs on his every word. Perhaps he is an athlete. Perhaps he is mafioso. Perhaps he is a successful businessman. Or a movie producer. Whatever it is that he is, he's nasty. But it doesn't matter. I look straight at the girl, and the group feels the energy in the room change. The girl looks at me and drops the guy's hand. Immediately everyone in the group tenses up. Some sh!t is about to go down. I go in so smooth. I feel like I am floating. My mind is completely peaceful. Nothing is going through it except the girl. I walk up real slow. The guys immediately step out of my way, except the big one who stands his ground. The girl perks up and I open. She snaps her body around to face me and she smiles, and the tension in the group rises. She is entranced and showing complete submission to everything that I say. It's starting now. I hear it. The guys start bombarding me with condescending questions. Teases. All that fun frame control stuff. I feel the pressure mounting. Here it comes. The social pressure. My frame of reality is being pulled at from every direction. I wait for the emotions to come. The paralysis of social pressure. For some reason though, I feel no different. Everything is the same as before. The guys can't understand. It does nothing. Some of them peel off and talk about smashing my head in. I look back at them straight in the eye, and they stop their conversation. I nod at them and they nod back in submission. The big one condescends me, and I make a playful face at him. I shoot back one line and the girl explodes laughing. He tries to get her attention, but the girl is still facing me. She cannot hear him. She cannot hear a word that he says. She literally cannot hear him. And the more that he talks, the more that she cannot hear him because the act of him talking to someone who is not responding only serves to lower his value further. He makes one last attempt at me, and I disacknowledge what he says. He wraps his arms around her from behind. It's all that he has left. But I keep talking as if it is not happening. I moderate thetones in my voice so that he can only hear certain things that I'm saying, and others he cannot hear. He leans in when I do so, and I do so on the high points which means that he is leaning in and being needy at the exact same time that I am attracting her the most. She keeps eye contact with me and wiggles out, as if it is not happening. And that's it. He is done. She whispers to me that she does not like him. That he has been buying her drinks all night and that he's a loser. In truth, she liked him a lot. She lied, but it's not her fault. She is trapped in the matrix of social value and biology. It was not her conscious mind communicating with me. In fact, tommorow when we go out she will not even remember the unusual circumstances under which I got her number or that she said that she didn't like the guy that she was with. All that she knows is that she is attracted. She doesn't consciously understand that I usurped the social value of her social group to pole-vault my own. There is a social matrix. It has many layers and it is dissectable. Time in the field gives context, and when you actually feel the energy of what is going on you then learn to have effect. When I roll in, I feel so smooth. That feeling that I generate inside of myself creates a sort of groove and I just cruise in it. I feel rhythm and just ride it like a wave. I will go in so fcuking smooth. And of course the reactions will follow. BUT I DO NOT ACKNOWLEDGE THEM. I hold my frame. The guys cause a mess, but I do not react. In my face, my body, and my energy, there is no acknowledgement as to anything being out of the ordinary. I hold fast. I am completely at ease. The girls are attracted. And the guys are scared shitless. The girls are attracted to the social pressure. The guys are paralyzed by it. I use every aspect of my non-verbal communication to show that I am completely comfortable. I may lecture the guy for being out of line, or I might be playful with him and tease him in a way that appears so above him that the social pressure deflates him instantly. I disacknowledge most of what he says, whenever I am projecting and dominating the energy of the set. And only when I lose the energy, do I then take it back using sharp playful humour that paints him into a corner, and by staying completely in control. That means that my reactions indicate no acknowledgement of the social pressure that is being applied to me. I do the same even when I am meeting girls in groups without guys. Or even when I am meeting a girl by herself and it is a rough entry and by holding my frame and not flinching it the social cues that I am putting out overtake hers and she is sucked in. She reacts on autopilot to the behaviors that I am putting out. I can do anything, and so long as I do it from a strong frame it will work. The human mind is always pinging. We ping off of each other looking for truth. That is how we maintain our sanity. It is an ongoing process of our psychology. That is why we feel culture shock when we go to a a far away place that is different from our own. And with that same device, I hold my frame and bend reality. Guys hear about congruence and frames and confidence and being the prize, but they don't GET IT. They go out and do the same things that they always do. I always have a vision of what I am working towards. I think about it before I go out. I have an idea of all the non-verbal communication that I want to bring to the table. I don't just think about it or analyze it. I AM IT. I don't think about it analytically. I feel it emotionally. I hink with my emotions. I THINK WITH MY EMOTIONS, NOT MY ANALYTICAL MIND. I feel what it would feel like in my body - to be smooth, to be cool, to be carefree and party like a frat boy. And through repetition I come to a point where that vision becomes fulfilled. Because I understand the emotions. The emotions become familiar.They become ingrained and unmovable. They project outwardly. If I allow my emotions to guide me, my reality is unshakable because emotions are the manifestation of my logical thought having come to firm conclusions. Our logical thought guides us in times of uncertainty. And as experience builds strong frames of reference, our emotions take over the job of thinking for us. Because there is no noise in my mind, I just react and enjoy the moment without much concern. And it is obvious. My reality is firm. People being the social creatures they are, they are sucked in. And as I look up at the sun, from far down below, I wonder if I will float back up to the surface or if I will sink even further down. I wonder how I still breathe. But I have to just breathe, as if all is normal. I feel it. If I think for even one second, I drown. But instead I feel myself moving forward. I feel a vision of what is to be, and I am propelled to cut through that which seems surreal. I feel at peace. I feel playful. I feel like the baddest motherfcuker. I feel connected. I'm fading out. It's happening again. Here I go. - Tyler